The Truth About Love
by theboywiththebread12
Summary: Katniss and Peeta are anything but the perfect couple, in fact they're very different from one another. Peeta's a lifelong baker, Katniss is an experienced hunter. Regardless, they still love one another. Will their love be strong enough to overcome the darkness of mutts, hijackings and a special surprise? I don't own The Hunger Games.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! This is my first fanfic so please be nice. I dont really know where to start with this story. It's just an idea about Peeta and Katniss's love and that its not all sweet they do have thier ups and downs. They have been in 2 hunger games and a war after all. I know this is short but i want to see how it goes.**

**Enjoy:)**

I haven't seen him since the war. He still lives in the Victors village with me and Haymitch but we never talk. We all have our own houses. I see him through the window sometimes. Only sometimes. It's not like I have anything to get up for anymore. Prim's dead, Gale's in 2 and moms in 4. Greasy Sae comes everyday to feed me. She begs me to eat but I can't remember the last time I had a full meal. A piece of bread every once in a while. I've had less.

I sit in my bed all day. Occasionally I'll go downstairs but only when I need a drink and have to answer the door to Greasy Sae. I rarely get visitors, only Sae and Haymitch. Never Peeta. Part of me wishes his arms were there to comfort me but I know he doesn't want to speak to me. Sometimes I hear him screaming from his nightmares. I feel like I should go and comfort him but I have my own nightmares to deal with too.

When I wake up I can't help the shakes that erupt from my body. Peeta was being killed by mutts. It's nothing new. I've seen him and all my family killed in my dreams a thousand times before. I take a glance at the window and I see his studio light is on. He's always in there painting. I hear a knock on the door and reluctantly creep down the stairs, with my bow in close reach. I don't go anywhere without it anymore. The stench of whisky hits my nose and I know its Haymitch. I open the door and walk into the living room.

"Hiya sweetheart" I just grunt and give him a scowl. "He misses you. More then you realise." His comment makes me go silent and I grab my blanket and snuggle up on the sofa.

"Well I don't miss him so what does it matter!" I can feel my eyes burn with the urge to cry but I still carry on. It's the first time I've voiced my emotions in months and I feel like someone needs to hear it. "I have lost everyone; no one cares about me anymore. Everyone I get close to Prim, Gale, my dad, my mom even Buttercup is gone. Yeah my mom's still alive but the only phone calls I get are from the doctor. She doesn't care about me. I don't think I can cope with losing the one person I'm sure I love. I have dreamt about him dying almost every day since that war, you don't know what that's like!" By the time I'm finished I'm sobbing and Haymitch is looking at me, trying to look through me which isn't so hard. "You know he said exactly the same thing." With that he was gone.

Most visits are like that now. No one stays for long. I guess its hard being around someone who doesn't speak. I spend most of my day on the couch now. Mostly crying. I turn on the TV. Nothing interesting. I turn it off and make myself a mental note to cancel the subscription. I turn on the kettle and am just about to make a steaming mug of hot chocolate when I hear a knock on the door. Only Sae, I think. My jaw drops to the floor when I see Peeta standing in front of me on my front porch.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi" He looks at me with those big blue eyes and I cant help but smile. "I've missed you." This statement takes me by surprise and I must be about 5 minutes before anyone speaks. "I think it's safe to say I've missed you more." My face goes bright red and I see a smile form on his lips. "I suppose you better come in." My house is a mess but at least I had a shower this morning.

As I go to pour him a cup of tea, I can tell he's staring at me. "I don't take-"

"You don't take sugar in your tea, I know. Why are you here?" I didn't mean to sound rude and immediately go to take it back but he holds his hands up.

"I've been having flashbacks. Most are shiny and I'm still finding it hard to…tell them apart. Doctor Aurelius says you the best person to ask when I get confused." I think about this for a second, contemplating what I should do. If I help him he may start coming by everyday and I don't know if I can cope with that yet. I still don't know whether he still loves me after all we've been through. He looks at me with his big blue eyes and I melt.

"Sure, you can ask me now if you want."

"Thanks." We sit in silence for a while until he blurts out, "You never really loved me did you?"

"I've always loved you, I just didn't realise it."

"Why did you drop the tracker-jacker nest on me if you really loved me?" I realise he didn't mean to be so blunt and he's confused but his words still hurt a little. I start to wonder whether I will ever get the old Peeta back. But that doesn't matter, he's not mine to have.

"I thought you were with the careers and trying to kill me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I do love you-I mean I did but at that time I guess I didn't know it."

He thinks about this for a while. He drinks his tea and politely puts it in the sink. "Your still trying to protect me and stop me from getting hurt, real or not real."

"The answer to that question will always be real. Its just us, just what we do."

"Did you love me?"

"Everyone says I did. I knew everything about you."

"Like what? I don't really remember much about _us_…what we were like, what _I_ was like. It's all shiny" he says it with such concern for me and I'm unsure what to make of it but I still answer the question.

"You're a painter, you're a baker, you like to sleep with the windows open, you never take sugar in you tea, you _always_ double knot your shoelaces and Katniss Everdeen is in love with you." I run upstairs before I do something stupid like cry. A few minutes later I hear the door close and know he has left. After 2 hours of sobbing my heart out, beating myself up for being so stupid, going through every single scenario I go downstairs. I go to clean up the table but instead see an envelope addressed to me. I open it and its Peeta's familiar scrawny handwriting.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I wish things could be different for us. I remember our hugs, I miss the feeling of your weight in my arms. I only came back to 12 because I missed you. I miss the warmth of your lips on mine. I miss the feeling of you in my arms. I miss the feeling of your warmth next to me in bed, fighting off the nightmares as they come. I love your hair and the way it flows down your shoulders. I love how you know everything about me. Your favourite colour is green, right? I love you. I don't want to leave things this way. Meet me at my house when your ready. I hardly ever leave. I just want to talk._

_Peeta_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, so I had some majorly huge help with this chapter from one of the greatest friends ever leah-wa. She's written a book for the uglies series, you should check it out. I really didn't know what to write so most of the writing and ideas I from her. She doesn't realise how good of a writer she is!**

**Enjoy:)**

I've been so stupid. I love her, it's just all shiny. I shouldn't have left her like that, the old Peeta wouldn't have anyway. I forgot how much I love her hair. The way its dark brown and the bottom and gets lighter as you go downwards. I rarely get any visitors and when I do, its only Haymitch begging me to talk to her. He came to me one day, saying how miserable she is, how she doesn't eat anymore and is slipping into depression.

I knew I had to do something to save her, shes saved my life so many times before, I owe her for it. I sat on the sofa, thinking about what I should do, I hate seeing her like this. I have to do something. I walked over to the front window. Her lights were off in every room, this was my chance to go and see if I could sort everything out. I walked through the front room and out to the door. I opened it, determined to get her back.

I strolled over to her house with determination written all over my scarred face. I come to her front door. I'm getting the girl of my dreams back today, forever. Once I get there, I start to feel my hands trembling ad they reach up to knock on the door. I haven't done this since we got back. Why have I left it this long?

The door slides open slowly, then I see her, Katniss Everdeen, the girl I declared my love for in the cave, during the 74th hunger games. The only word that manages to come out my mouth is hi. I could see the hesitation in her eyes as she asks me to come inside.

Her house is a little scruffy,but I don't want to say anything,just in case, so instead I just sit tthere staring into her grey seam eyes. She starts to say something , but I cant make it out. I'm lost in those grey orbs of beauty. "Do you want a drink?" She asks again. I nod politely. "I don't take-" I try to speak but before I can finish she interrups, "you don't take sugar in your tea, I know." Then she says ,rather rudely, "why are you here?" I know I have to tell her about the flashbacks that I have.

"Well Ive been having flashbacks, most of the time I don't know whats real or not real, so I asked Doctor Aurelius for some help. He said you're the best person to assist. So can I ask you some things?"

Katniss takes a long time to decide but her answer is finally yes. I don't know what to say at first so we just sit there in silence until I think of something I need to clear up. "You never really did love me did you?"

"I've always loved you, I just didn't realise." Shes says it almost instantly, asif shes been waiting to let it out. I ask more questions about 'us' in the first hunger games we experienced together. I ask about myself an she answers me with something that blew me away, "You're a painter, you're a baker, you like to sleep with the windows open, you never take sugar in you tea, you _always_ double knot your shoelaces and Katniss Everdeen is in love with you!" Before I can say anything she is already halfway up the stairs. I know she isn't going to come down anytime soon, so after I come to my senses, I grab a pen and a piece of paper.

_Dear Katniss,_

_I wish things could be different for us. I remember our hugs, I miss the feeling of your weight in my arms. I only came back to 12 because I missed you. I miss the warmth of your lips on mine. I miss the feeling of you in my arms. I miss the feeling of your warmth next to me in bed, fighting off the nightmares as they come. I love your hair and the way it flows down your shoulders. I love how you know everything about me. Your favourite colour is green, right? I love you. I don't want to leave things this way. Meet me at my house when your ready. I hardly ever leave. I just want to talk._

_Peeta_


	4. Chapter 4

**I know alot have people have viewed this already and I am so appriciative! But nobody is reviewing! even if its "great" or thats absolutley rubbish, they will still make me write. I might not update for a while if I dont get any! I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES NOR DO I CLAIM TO.  
**

I cant go. I cant face him again. I know I will have to at some point just not today. I love him, I'm sure of that. He loves me to. I'm being silly. He's Peeta, my Peeta. I decide to go over later that day. I fix myself some breakfast for the first time in months. I decide I want to look nice for Peeta, I do love him after all. After my cup of tea, I go upstairs and open my wardrobe for the first time in what seems like forever. My eyes burn. All I can think about is Cinna and how he died trying to support me. He died because of me.

I'll never know how this dress still fits me, I've lost about 3 stone during the war, I was already thin anyway. I pick one that is orange like the sunset, his favourite colour. I feel like I know so much about him but he knows so little. I don't mean it like that. He knows everything about me. Personal things. Like when I'm confused I bite my bottom lip. When I'm nervous I cross my arms. When I'm scared I do both. I know deep down he is still there. The boy with the bread. My soldier. My saviour. My soulmate. I just have to find him and get him back.

I don't know what to do. I hope he waits for me to come because for all know he could be busy painting and I don't want to disturb him. I run across the fountain in the middle of the victors village in anticipation to see his big blue eyes and have his strong arms hug me. I gently knock on the door, not wanting to startle him in his sleep. The door opens immediately and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as his big blue eyes look into mine.

"Katniss…I never expected you to turn up. I'm sorry I left you like that. You know I never meant to but you just took me by surprise."

"I know, I'm so sorry I was just so stubborn. Are you gonna invite me in or what?"

"Oh sorry, I was just so lost in your beauty, I see you left your hair down just for me and that dress brings out the colour in your eyes." I turn bright red and as I walk into the surprisingly tidy living room I see the walls are plastered with pictures of me. In the cave when I was feeding him the broth, on the beach in the quarter quell and one of me hunting in the woods. My hair is down in all of them.

"Are these paintings all of me?" I ask him in awe as he takes off my coat and his big strong hands brush with my arm for a second sending shivers down my spine.

"Of course. Your all I think about day and night. I love you." he blushes and this time we both lean in.

I spend the night there, trapped in his arms. No nightmares come that night. How could they?

**A/N: Okay so i know this is a boring chapter but the next one, i know for a fact that your jaw will drop!**


	5. Chapter 5

I'm up all night just watching her sleep. She's beautiful and she's all mine, isn't she? I mean we didn't do anything like _that_ last night we just kissed and hugged and talked and kissed and fell asleep in each other's arms. I love her. I must have said that to her a thousand times over last night. I just can't help myself. She's B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. What she does, the way she thinks makes her beautiful. Of course there are many other things I love about Katniss that makes her beautiful. Her scars have lowered he self-esteem how could they not? I don't notice them anymore, their a part of her, like my stump is a part of me.

I have to leave for the bakery soon, otherwise there will be a lot of hungry people around district 12. I get out of bed without waking her. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps. I decide to write her a letter. It seems like a bit of a tradition between us now. I pick up a piece of paper and a pen and write out my feelings in a letter;

_I love you. You know I do. I love how you know everything about me. I love how you love my cheesy buns(theres some in the fridge). I love how you kiss me. I love how we fell asleep in each others arms last night. I love how my heart skips a beat when you look at me. I love how you blush when we touch. I hope as we grow closer I will be able to carry on this list and it will be as long as my arm. Somehow I can see that happening. Meet me in the meadow tonight at 7.00. I wanna take you on a date. Wear something nice._

_I love you._

_Peeta x_

I'm satisfied with this and seal it in an envelope. I go to the bakery, make the orders for today and start on later tonight. I make a dozen cheesy buns, some cupcakes and some lamb stew. I take a gas heater so I can warm it up later on. The day couldn't end to quickly and soon I am making my way to the meadow hoping she will come. She does and immediately smiles as soon as she meets my gaze.

"Miss Everdeen." I bow to her "Tonight you will be treated like a princess, treated like you deserve to be treated." She blushes and her gaze turns to the floor, so I lift my fingers to her chin and pull it up to my reassuring gaze. She nods and we kiss for a second. It doesn't seem put on either. I lay out a blanket and serve her some lamb stew. Her eyes lighten up as soon as she tastes it. "it's my-"

"-favourite, I know that's why I made it. We had it on the train, in the first hunger games. I haven't lost all my memories you know." She gobbles up at least three quarters of the bun and we eat all of the stew. Her face snorts in disgust as she bites on something hard in the cupcake. She looks stunned when she sees a diamond ring.

"Katniss, I've loved you since the day I met you. Your perfect in everyway, even if you don't think you are. Will you let me make you Mrs Peeta Mellark?"

"No."She replys. I feel a tear run down my cheek as she runs away.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay so me and girlonfire121 have been working our butts off on this story and we are not getting any reviews! Reviews make us update faster and i know all of you secretly want to know whether it works out with Katniss and Peeta. Leave one after you've read this chapter. It's only at the bottom of the page.**

**Enjoy:)**

I love him. I'm not that stupid. I want to go on dates for a bit, be boyfriend and girlfriend, and have fun. But one night of just hugging and two kisses and he's already asking for marriage. I don't think anybody could commit to that, however stubborn I may be.

I'm not ruling out marriage all together. We haven't even talked about marriage ever. It's never something I've really wanted. I just wanted to be safe again with someone I know and trust deeply. He knows that. It's not just the proposal. He left me this morning, alone. I know he left me a letter, declaring his love for me, but why couldn't he have woken me to say he was leaving. He knows I wouldn't have minded. I might have even sneaked in a kiss.

I can hear his footsteps outside my door. He could never make a good hunter.

"Katniss!" There is a sound of urgency in his voice. "Can I talk to you, please?"

"No I don't want to talk about it."

"I do, so if you aren't going to open the door, I'll just explain myself out here. I love you. The whole of Panem knows I love you, I just wanted, to show you how much. I know I might have rushed things and I get that. It's just I've always dreamt of you being my wife. Can we just forget this ever happened?" I think about this for a while. I open the door, but block the doorway with my body so he can't barge in. His eyes are all red and puffy from crying.

"I love you to but I can't do this. I have never wanted marriage Peeta you know that. I'm not saying rule it out completely, but I can't just forget. We haven't even been on a proper date yet, ever. That's what I thought we were doing tonight, going on a date. I'm not ruling out marriage completely but everyone I love is gone. If I make a commitment to you, I'm scared you might go to."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, but you've messed this up, I don't even know if we can even be friends anymore Peeta. I think you should leave." I closed the door and burst into tears. This may just be the worst mistake I ever made.

A few days after our conversation at the door I realise I need something to eat. I know I have nothing in the cupboards downstairs which means I will have to go to the bakery. I will have to face him. I take longer then I need to in the shower that morning to think it all over. He may want to talk again, but that isn't the biggest of my worries. Even if he does talk to me, I'll just tell him the truth. But I love him. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger and that is definitely true in my case. I miss him and I'm pretty sure he misses me to.

I make my way to the bakery with trepidation. I'm too nervous and there's no need to be, I'm just getting some bread, right? I walk into the bakery and his blue eyes lock with my grey. "Katniss?"

"Hi. Um I just came to get some food, I don't have any."

"Oh." I know he thinks I came to fix things. I'm not the one who should be apologising. "What do you want. I just made a fresh batch of cheese buns."

"Okay then, I'll have 2."

He returns 5 minutes later with 2 cheese buns in hand.

"2 dollars please." I feel around in my pocket and notice I forgot my purse.

"Oh my God. Um Peeta, I forgot my purse, let me just run back home and get it, can you hold those buns for me?"

"Take them. I owe you much more anyway. Besides, it will be and excuse for me to see you again. I was hoping we could go back to the meadow. Just us. Together again. No proposals I promise."

His last comment makes me laugh and his face lights up. "Fine. But I'm still mad at you."

"I'll just have to think of a way for you to forgive me then wont I."

"I think food may be involved." He smiles and this time it's me who leans in.


	7. Chapter 7

My heart went into my mouth. I couldn't believe it. The love of my life the girl I have dreamt about every day since I was 5 just asked _me_ on a date. _Me. _Peeta Mellark. I'm no one special. Yeah I'm the victor of the 74th hunger games but only by chance. She saved me really.

I thought I'd messed everything up. Let's face the truth. I did. Proposing? What was I thinking? I have to get ready. I run upstairs and into the shower, without even thinking to put a towel out for afterwards. I over think scenarios in my head. What if I act all stupid again? Get all deep in those beautiful eyes and make a fool of myself in front of the one person I want to spend my whole life with. I start to think what my life would be like without her. If I hadn't have met this girl, this wonderful, amazing girl, would I even be alive right now? I shake the thought out of my head and carry on showering. The next hour passed quickly, just staring out of the bedroom window at the opposite house makes me go funny. Just thinking that I could be there one day, in her house, sleeping in her bed, living with Katniss Everdeen.

Of course that's a stupid idea. We're way too early for that. I realise it's almost time for our date so with picnic basket in hand, I make my way to the meadow. She's already there, waiting for me. She looks beautiful, even without trying. She has a green summery dress on. Not that I notice much detail. I can't stop staring at her hair. I'm surprised she even turned up.

**A/N: Okay, so I realise now that your angry with me. This chapter is so short that your like, omg I thought this was going to be superrrr long. Well originally it was but after reading chapter 8 and 7 they didnt make any sense together so i decided to add a part of chapter 7 to 8. Chapter 8 is now longer and was really quite fun to write. With the mountain of homework i have to do and the absolute mess my room is at the moment I'll probably next update over the weekend. And for those of you who are getting super confused who's POV I'm writing in, I apologise and will stop switching to Peeta's POV unless absolutley nessacery.**

**Chapter 1 is in Katniss's.**

**Chapter 2 is in Katniss's.**

**Chapter 3 is in Peeta's.**

**Chapter 4 is in Katniss's.**

**Chapter 5 is in Peeta's.**

**Chapter 6 is in Katniss's.**

**This chapter is in Peeta's.**

**I'm sorry for confusing you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay so I got alot of pm's asking me to update and I can't say no after the unbelievebly short chapter I left you guys on. Me and girlonfire121 were on facetime for ages discussing this, so I hope you like it. And, as always,**

**Enjoy:)**

"Katniss, you look so…beautiful." I blush as he looks me up and down. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Thank you. Come on, let's sit down." We find a nice spot and he lays out the picnic basket and taps the space next to him. I immeditly curl up next to him.

I keep staring at him. I can't believe he loves me. And I love him. Don't I? We eat all the food he brought and as the night comes, I cradle my head in his lap for comfort. I feel guilty about everything and I can't take the thought out of my mind that he hates me. "Peeta…I-I'm sorry about the other night, I just can't-"

"It's my fault, let's just forget about it." I run my fingers through my hair for a while and I start to sing. I know he likes it when I do.

"I can't hear any birds. You made them all silent as always." I grin at him but he doesn't stop there. "I remember the first time I saw you. You had your hair in two braids instead of one. The teacher asked who knew the valley song and your hand shot right up in the air-"

"Sush Peeta." I feel embarressed about this. He seemed to notice me everyday but I didn't even notice him since the day with the bread.

"After that I watched you walk home everyday, every day." His voice is barely a whisper. "I knew you had your father's voice, the sweet and loving kind. From that day on, I knew I loved you." I look down at the ground, trying to hide my red face from him. I turn my whole body to face him, wrap my arms around his neck and his automatically go to my waist. I live for moments like this. We kiss for what seems like a lifetime. As I learnt the hard way,life has to end sometime and Peeta breaks away from our kiss. "I have to go into work, you can come though if you want. I'll make you some cheese buns in exchange for a kiss." I laugh and he has a childish look on his face. "Okay fine! Extra cheese on the buns though." He lazily kisses me on the cheek and I can't help but smile. I know this is where I need to be.

Luckily the bakery is empty at this time of the day. It was so nice to just sit, not arguing, but generally chatting about the things we enjoy the most. These chats are the thing I miss the more about him then anything in the whole world, apart from his warmth, his hair but most of all his perfect personality. The conversation that we have that can only is understood by no one else but us. We sit in front of the bakery eating fresh cheese buns, watching the couples walking past the shop window without a care in the world. They were holding hands, talking, laughing, and smiling.

"You know the other day?" Peeta looked at me, confused as hell. "You, you know, proposed." His head goes to the floor and I grab onto his hand. "I've been thinking about it, a lot actually. All my life I've always refused marriage. I never had time to focus on boys, it was always mine and my familys survival. But with all these people being as happy as they are, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I want us to be like that one day Peeta. Just me and you, no one else. I want to be able to go into our own little world where nobody can change what we do or think apart from each other. Saying no that day, I will regret it for the rest of my life. It wasn't that I didn't love you. It was that I was to stubborn to realise how much I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Peeta Mellark." His eyes look into mine, registering what I just said. "Come here beautiful!" He put his arm around the back of my neck and he came forward so our lips met in the centre. Everything around us had stopped, like Peeta had described happened when I sung in class once. I couldn't hear anything until Peeta pulled away extremely quickly. I opened my eyes to find a tall man stood in front of us. Beside him was Peeta. He was holding his face rather tightly. His eye blackening from the force of the slap. Gale Hawthorne just slapped my fiancé. The boy that I wanted to run away with me on the day of the reaping.


	9. Chapter 9

The shock of seeing him there standing in front of me is to much to take. Why isn't he settling down himself like I am with Peeta, why does he HAVE to spoil this special moment. The first time me and Peeta have spoken in three days has turned into a nightmare. Why?

"How's you and lover-boy, Katniss? Just having a little smooch, eh?" says Gale. I could tell he was angry with me. I could sense it in how he was looking at me, staring straight through me, sensing the fear I was trying to keep inside me. I saw Peeta in the corner of my eye, getting some blue cloth and dabbing his eye that was black and blue, his mouth also bleeding. What has he done to deserve this!? I brought this on myself. I warned him that if I got to close to him I was going to hurt him but I never meant it like this!

"Gale, I thought you had settled down in District 2 with some perfect girl of your dreams, like I have here, with Peeta!" I feel like saying something else but if I say it, I'd just make a scene, an argument will rise and I wouldn't want that for anyone. I could see a smile creep onto Peeta's bruised face. I feel a sharp pain in my back and neck, Gale's got me pinned up the wall begging me for an answer. "Why did you leave me, why didn't you come and look for me!? When I needed you most, you weren't there for me. I've lost all my family, Katniss. Rosy, Mother, they've all gone. You're the only one I had left and now you've left me for this thing, the boy with the bread, I can't believe you, Catnip!" I'm struggling to breathe and I can see Gales struggling to speak, battling against the tears that threaten to spill out.

"I've lost everyone that I ever loved. Where were you? I guess we're both as bad as each other."

Suddenly, I feel the pressure ease and I drop to the floor; Peeta has Gale up the wall on the other side of the room, "She's mine, you hear me, so go back to District 2 and find your own girl, yeah?"

I can't take anymore, I have to go somewhere, I have to get out of this horrid place, and I can't do with all of this arguing. I run out the door before anyone can stop me, seeing the fence in front of me I know where I'm heading towards. The woods. With no weapons to protect me from wild animals, I'm risking my life, but who cares? Risking my life is nothing new.

I can't take it anymore if that's all Gale and Peeta are going to do is argue. I thought my life was finally levelling out, settling down with Peeta, having the time of my life, but obviously people don't like that. They want me to keep on fighting for my survival but I can't be bothered with that anymore. If they want me to live a terrible life, it isn't going to work.

I can see a wild bear right in front of me. This is the time to end my life, here, today. "This is what everyone wants isn't it? Me dead so they can live a happy life, well they'll get their wish today!" I shout at the top of my voice, I start walking towards the bear, rustling the leaves under my foot as I walk. Then the bear falls down. I see a knife sticking out of his chest. I turn around to find the tall guy, I once called my hunting partner.

"Katniss, why? Why did you run off?" The sound of his voice concerns me; I have to tell him the truth.

"I can't take it Gale, it seems like everyone is out to get me. I just want to spend my life with Peeta, but I want you as my best friend as well. Like we used to be, I never meant to leave you, but I thought you were settling in 2 with someone that would make you happy, like I did." Ouch, that must have hurt him, I didn't mean it to sound like that, but it's out in the air now, can't really take it back.

"Katniss remember the day of the reaping and I said we could run away, we can still do that now you know? Forget about everything that's happened in the past and just go!" Gale says, thinking that he's going to get me back. I don't think so, I've made my choice and that is to stay in 12 and have a happy life with Peeta. Why do you want to run away with me?"

I can feel all the anger building up inside of me, doesn't he understand the relationship me and Peeta have between each other… I can't help but remember that day.

_"You know we could run away from this place, me and you. "Gale says. That'll never work out._

_"Gale, I know how much you want to get out of here, but we can never do it. Not today. Not ever._

_"I never want to have kids," I say._

_"I might, if I didn't live here," says Gale._

_"But you do," I say, irritated._

_"Forget it," he snaps back._

I dive into Gale's arms, sobbing so hard it's like I'll never be able to stop. Both of us cradle one another in each other's arms, this is the first time we've embraced since the Reaping day, when he came to say good bye to me. I thought that was the last time I was ever going to see him.

After crying our hearts out, we decide to talk things through, talk about things, about life in District 2, how different it is to 12. His hands hold mine firmly, making sure I stay nice and calm. I hear his voice coming, its Peeta. His eyes red, his black eye worsening with every tear that creeps out of his eyes. This must look so wrong to him.

"Katniss, what are you doing with him?" I feel his voice break, he turns and runs back, thumping every tree he walks past until his knuckles are bright red, pouring with blood, he trips over a tree root and collapses on the floor.

**A/N: OK so me and girlinfire121 have decided that we are not going to post another chapter until we get at least 5 reviews on the previous one. We are working so hard on this story and I just feel like it is going unnoticed. Sorry to moan, it doesn't even have to be long I just want to know what you think! See you after 5 reviews!**


	10. Chapter 10

I've ruined it again. No, I haven't. Well I have but not on purpose. He knows I don't want Gale, I only want him. I did propose after all and I declared my love for him, so why does he not believe me? I guess the Capitol really messed him up.

I try to stop him, to run after him but he doesn't listen. I want to help him. He's hurt and not just on the outside. I can feel Gale's breath tickling the back of my neck.

"Get away from me right now, or I swear to God I will kill you and you of all people should know I'm not joking."

"Come on Catnip, he's gone now. It can be just us. I know it's what you always wanted. All that with bread boy is fake!"

"No Gale, it's what _you_ wanted not me. And fake? Well guess what Gale; we're getting married because I love him. I've never loved anyone else but him, not even you. We are close friends nothing else. I want to grow old with him, comfort him at night, and have breakfast in bed in the morning. I want a marriage."

I storm off, unable to contain myself any longer. I know Peeta won't be at my house. Even though we live together now, he sometimes goes back to his house in the victors village. I run there and manage to catch up with a stumbling Peeta on the way. He's crying. I stand in front of him and he seems startled.

"I know I am the last person you want to be around right now. But hear me out." He stops in his tracks. "I'm in love with you. Not Gale. Not anybody but you. Why don't you know that?"

"Gale."

Why doesn't Peeta understand that we both just needed a shoulder to cry on? I've known Gale all my life, well nearly all of it, we've been through thick and thin together, we lost our fathers in the same mine explosion. We helped each other along the way and fed each others family. I've only known Peeta for 4 or 5 years. I love him so much, I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But sometimes Peeta doesn't understand my past. But I've given everything up for Peeta, so I'm more then prepared to give up Gale.

"He doesn't matter to me anymore. You are my family now. Not him."

"So you don't love him?"

"Never in the way I love you."

He takes my hand and we walk to the victors village. We are curled up on the sofa, watching the roar of the fire when I see the familiar silver parachute in my hand. I look up at Peeta and he looks hopeful.

"Open it." With a trembling hand I take of the lid and see a shining pearl. I always keep it in my dresser and I never noticed it went missing. I haven't needed it for comfort. I had Peeta instead. I take it and and find it is my pearl, but fastened to a shining gold ring.

"I thought it could be your engagement ring, so it's a reminder, to always be near each other."

"When do you-when do you- want-"

"To get married?" I nod "As soon as possible. I want you to be mine." We both smile.

"Are you, ahem, going to, uh, change your last name. I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, I know how much it means to you-"

I press my lips to his and after a few seconds I pull away and rest my forehead on his.

"Katniss Mellark. Sounds perfect. Just like us." He smiles and we fall asleep right there on the sofa in each others arms. The soon to be Mr and Mrs Mellark.

That night, all I can think about is our wedding day, the dress. The dress that Cinna made, I'm going to have to wear it.

I wake up in shock, paralysed in the thought that I'll have to wear a dress that Cinna made. The only person alive that could ever believe what I felt in the first Hunger Games, and then he was gone, in a second, took from us, from this world, because of me. I killed him.

I try not to wake Peeta, but I can't help it, the flashbacks of seeing Cinna, assassinated in front of my eyes is unbearable. I can just see him, standing there waving at me. But then I see the Peace Keepers coming up behind him. They take his hands and simply shoot him before I can do anything.

I see Peeta start to toss and turn so I pretend to go to sleep, but every time I close my eyes, I see him. Cinna holding my wedding dress with Peeta standing next to him, smiling insanely.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" he says, worriedly.

"Just thinking about _our_ wedding. Do you think I could still fit into the dress that Cinna made for me, you know for the time you faked our marriage?" His face looked confused. I knew he was asking himself about the marriage, and who Cinna was. I started to explain to him what he said in the interview before the Quarter Quell and all that he did was laugh. That made me chuckle a little bit, I've got to be honest.

After the long conversation, I see that it's almost half seven, sun rise. I creep out of the comfort of Peeta's arms and walk along to the bay window and draw open the curtains, the sun shines into the bedroom, I turn around to see Peeta, topless with his shorts on walking towards me. Hw wraps his arms around my waist. We stare at the sunset for what seems like hours until Peeta finally speaks.

"It's beautiful like you, Katniss Mellark," I love the way that sounds. _Katniss Mellark._ I blush as his thumb brushes my cheek. His arms wrap around my neck and bring me closer to him. My arms are so skinny compared to his, but I don't hesitate to wrap mine around his waist. I rest my head on his chest; his heartbeat comforts me so much. This is what I need, someone who knows all my flaws and weaknesses but still stands by me through everything. I can't be bothered with anyone, they can want to be with me so much, but I know I'm going to grow old with Peeta Mellark, my husband to be. I lift my head up to see him smiling at me, innocently.

"What?" I ask, chuckling while he starts fiddling with my hair that lowers down over my shoulders.

"I was just thinking, about everything we've been through, and now were standing here in each other's arms. If you didn't volunteer for your sister at the first Reaping and I wasn't chosen. You probably would never have even noticed anything about me…" For some reason, I can't believe he'd just said that, but it's the truth. If we weren't in the Hunger Games together, we would never be in this situation where we would be getting married. In a strange way, its one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

"I'm glad I volunteered for Prim, because I met you," My lips touch his, to let him know how much I actually meant what I just said. We part for a second and I feel like he doesn't believe me as much as I need him to. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He embraces me and lifts me from the ground; I feel weight less in his arms.

We both walk over to the bed, hand in hand, and just lie there staring into each other's dreamy eyes. His blue ones so intense, but comforting at the same time. I need to ask him if this is real or not real, but I'm too into his blue dreamy eyes.

**A/N: Ok so I was shocked at the response I got at the last chapter and I want to thank hgfan4719 for telling people about this story. The next chapter is intense, I wrote it and it made girlonfire121 cry. Tissues at the ready, see you after 5 reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ok so towards the end of this chapter it gets, shall we say, upsetting. I just wanted to let you all know from the bottom of my heart thank you for all your kind words in your reviews. I uploaded chapter 10 this morning before school and when I got home i had 7 reviews. I mean seriously that is amazing. I am snowed under at the moment and need to find a time when me and girlonfire121 are free, I would say i'm next going to update at the earliest Friday. Besides, who doesn't love a good cliffhanger. Keep reviewing and let me know you thoughts for improvment. I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Enjoy:)**

I wake up a few hours later to Peeta still in the same position, staring at me.

"Good morning beautiful." He goes to kiss me but I speak before he can.

"I very much doubt that I'm beautiful, but whatever you say"

"Oh no, Mrs Mellark you definetly are." We both grin at this.

"I love the way that sounds. Mrs Mellark. Mrs Katniss Mellark. Why do we have to wait for the wedding? I want my name to sound like this all the time."

"Me too. Maybe we could speed it up. Get married in the next month rather then wait. I never wanted a big fancy wedding anyway. Now come on we have to get ready." He gives me a long awaited kiss and walks downstairs to make us both breakfast. I quickly step into the shower, get dressed and go downstairs. I expect to see Peeta there, scrambling some eggs. But I don't. I definetly didn't hear the door shut and I always hear the door shut. I half-walk, half-jog into the kitchen.

I go to grab a pan as a weapon when those big strong hands grab me aroud the waist and twirl me round until I feel sick.

"Peeta!" He eventually puts me down and his lips crash onto mine. I pull away and grin.

"If you think that makes up for scaring me half to death, it will take a lot more then a kiss and breakfast." I raise my eyebrow and he laughs.

"No problem. I don't mind getting to kiss you whenever I want." We sit down to eat breakfast and I want to talk about the wedding. For the first time in a long time, I've wanted to look nice. I am only planning on doing this once after all.

"So what are you wearing at the wedding." He takes a sip of his orange juice and smiles.

"I don't really know. I was thinking of a simple shirt and tie, but we don't have to dress up."

"No I want to. I think Cinna's design for me should get to be seen. It is beautiful. But I don't want an overly big wedding. I mean I want to walk down the aisle like every other bride but I just don't want the whole of Panem there."

"Me neither. We'll sort out the guest list later but I have to go to work. We'll talk about it later though I promise." He gives me a peck on the cheek. I hate it when he leaves. It feels like my world isn't worth living. Even though he is just a moments walk away it is still unbearable not being able to crawl into his arms. Its times like this I realise I love him and how much I need him.  
He comes home from work to a freshly cooked soup. Its very rare I cook, but I had nothing else to do and I hate wasting precious time.

"It's only me!" I practically run into his arms.

"Hey, hey whats the matter!"

"I just hate it when you leave me." I know this is harsh, but he has to know how I feel. He tilts my head so that he looks me dead in the eye.

"I may be gone one hour,one day or even one week, but I will always be here." He points to where my heart is but we are still looking into each others eyes. "Just like you have _always_ been here." He points to his heart and I start to sob.

"I l-love you." I gasp between sobs.

"I love you more." We eat my soup in silence but hand in hand.

"Lets get married tomorrow." I almost choke on my soup.

"What did you-did you-what?"

"Lets get married tomorrow." He says matter of factly. I practically jump into his arms.

"I'll take that as a yes then!" He chuckles. We fall asleep in each others arms that night. It was my last day as Katniss Everdeen. I couldn't be happier.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The next day I wake up to an empty bed. I know Peeta will have gone to the bakery early so he doesn't have to do anything later, but it still scares me when he isn't there. I hear my mom knocking on the door and reluctantly go to answer it.

"Come on Katniss, we have a big, big, big day ahead!"

"Effie?!" We both go in for a hug. "How did you know I was engaged?"

"I have my sources dear! Now come on, lets get you ready to get married."

I invite the women with the head of fluff inside and go to make us some tea. I can see her looking around our living room so I invite her to look around the whole place, if she wanted to. I even asked her if she wanted to go and see Haymitch but she insisted we'd wait here to see if he came round first. She's changed so much. Last time I saw her every hour of every day was in a timetable, now she's just so relaxed…

Peeta doesn't seem comfortable with all the hairspray and make up flying about. As he's washing up I wrap my hands around his waist and he flinches at my touch. That isn't like Peeta. Still he turns around and wraps his arms around me as well, forcing us to be closer together.

"You can go, I wont mind." He kisses me passionately for a long time until someone interrupts us.

"Katniss, we need to do your hair!" I moan into Peeta's mouth. "Its not that I don't want Effie here, I just don't want the whole Capitol style wedding. I never wanted it. I just want to be with you."

"Look at it this way, it will just make it more memorable. Now as much as I don't want to leave my beautiful soon to be wife, if I don't start to get ready I'll be late for my own wedding."

"Okay. I love you and I'll see you on the other end of that aisle."

"Definitely." He kisses me goodbye and leaves with his suit.

For the next hour or two Effie does all my hair and makeup. It makes me miss Cinna so much and Effie has to redo my mascara at least 5 times. I almost start crying when I put on my dress. It brings out the colour in everything about me. But right at the bottom of the bright white dress are flames. After all I am the girl on fire. But the thing that I love that most about this dress is the flower in my hair. A dandelion. My symbol of hope. My symbol that life can go on, no matter what. At the bottom of the box my dress is in I see a letter addressed to me. I open it and almost begin to cry immediately.

_Katniss,_

_My girl on fire. Today must be your wedding day. I'm so sorry I can't be there. To watch you wear this dress and walk down the aisle. To not be able to do your hair and makeup. Just know that I'm proud of you today. Look after Peeta._

_Cinna_

_P.S: I'm still betting on you_

I miss Cinna but surprisingly Effie doesn't have to redo my makeup because for the first time since his death the thought of Cinna is making me smile and not cry. I guess he always knew I would choose the right person.

Effie leads me downstairs where I see my mother stood in the middle of our living room. It is our living room now, it's traditional for the bride and groom to move in together after marriage but Peeta and I did it already.

"Katniss…"

"Don't you dare cry!" She chuckles and embraces me.

"I've missed you-"Is all she can mutter out before she starts blubbering. I lead her into the car and we make our way to the justice building. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. We go into the hall and before I know it I'm making my way down the aisle, arm in arm with my mother. Peeta is beaming by the time I make my way down.

"Beautiful" he whispers, intertwining his hand in mine. He seems tense.

The person leading the marriage is good but I don't listen to anything she's saying, I'm too lost in those eyes. She eventually pulls me out of my trance to say our vows. Something personal we say to each other to make us both realise our love. I go first.

_My boy with the bread. My saviour. My dandelion. My symbol of hope. You are everything to me and I want to grow old with you. I want to freeze this moment right here and live in it forever. I love you._

It's short but sweet. Peeta looks as if he is about to cry but he doesn't. It's his turn now.

_Every day, when I wake up next to you in our bed I can't believe how lucky I am. Every time I look at you I still see the girl I fell in love with. The girl with the red plaid dress and hair in 2 braids instead of one. I always get lost in your eyes. I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you. I fall in love with you even more every day._

We place the rings on our fingers. Peeta goes to grab my arm to kiss but I playfully slap him away. I regret it straight away. He goes rigid and his eyes go black. Not now. He can't be.

"YOUR'E A MUTT! YOU'RE A STINKING MUTT. YOU TRIED TO KILL ME AND NOW YOU'RE FORCING ME TO MARRY YOU. YOUR'E A MUTT!"

The whole of the justice building grows silent and that's when I see Peeta's hand touch my face. My cheek hurts. I must fall to the floor because all I see is blackness.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hi you little strangers! Okay so I'm so sorry I haven't updated. I have been so busy I haven't had a moment spare. My school thinks its funny to make me work on 3 projects at one time on top of regular homework. I did come on here one day during the week only to find I had a bad review about spelling issues and the chapters 2 and 3 were the same. If you didn't see my reply I would like to say this is not true! Anyway, on a lighter note, if anyone American is reading this, HAPPY LATE THANKSGIVING! I'm ashamed to say I've never really known what it is. Can anybody tell me? Once again thank you for all the kind words. Remember, 5 more reviews until Chapter 13...**

**Enjoy:)**

I wake up screaming. I had a dream, a nightmare. It must have startled me because I haven't had a nightmare where I'd screamed like that in a long time. Me and Peeta, we were married. I was so happy. He walks down the aisle with me, hand in hand and then he slapped me. This one was especially bad.

I turn around in bed, expecting to see Peeta, my husband. But he isn't there. I look around the room. There's someone slumped in the chair by the window. Haymitch. Why wasn't my Peeta here? Why on earth was that drunken head sitting next to me? I felt just fine, why was I in this horrible place? This isn't a horrible place. This is my home, _our _home. So where's Peeta?

"Good to see you finally awake sweetheart. How that cheek of yours?" I touch my hand to my cheek and flinch. And that's when I get my act together and put the pieces together.

"He slapped me didn't he? Tell me everything." Then I thought, that nightmare I just had, it wasn't a nightmare, it actually happened…

"I'm not going to lie to you, but you're not going to like this. After you blacked out Peeta turned back into…Peeta. Everyone was shocked, they know he has hallucinations but they thought he would've got over it now. After the shock Peeta moved back into his house. He can't live with himself Katniss."

"But this is our house. He should be here."

I need Peeta. It wasn't him. It was a mutt that the Capitol created. He didn't mean it but he's never hurt me with a flashback before. And on our wedding day. I guess it won't be so easy to get over this time.

In the next few days I get some sleep but I still have nightmares. Normally about losing Peeta. He's running away and I can't get to him. I almost reach him but he's just out of my grasp.

As I get better and better I decide to go to Peeta's. Haymitch advises against it, saying that he might have another attack. I miss him and I know Haymitch is right but I am over thinking how he feels, how I feel, and I can't help but want to see those eyes. I need him in my arms again. This time I need to be the one to get him back. I run to his door.

He doesn't answer straight away, but I'm Katniss Everdeen and I don't give up. No I'm Katniss Mellark. I need to make sure he knows that it wasn't him that did this to my face, it was the Capitol. I won't be left with any permanent scarring but I still have a big red mark, even after 5 days. Why did they have to take the boy with the bread that I was in love with and I still am now, away from me? He's no different but I just want the old Peeta back, the loving caring one, the boy that was able to come up with anything to say in any environment he was stuck in, why did they have to change him? But this is my chance to get him back, my husband; I'm not going to show any emotion, apart from the ones that are genuine.

He answers after at least 5 minutes. He has dark circles under his eyes and looks like he hasn't shaved in at least a week.

"Katniss?"

"Hi. Is it alright if I come in?" I don't show any affection but it's hard to resist the urge to crash my lips onto his. I can tell he is still on edge.

"I-I don't think that's a very good idea, I don't want to hurt you-"

"And you won't. Please, it will only take a minute." He moves out of the way to let me in. I smell bread. Baking makes him feel better. Takes his mind off things. He does it when he needs to think. I do the same thing with hunting. It makes me think of Cinna. _"I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I don't hurt anyone but myself."_ I sit down on the sofa and he sits on the armchair.

"I want to talk before you do because I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to protect me again. Like in the games. But we aren't in the games anymore Peeta. You're trying to push me away, to protect me, yet all you seem to be doing is hurting me even more. I know you're going to feel guilty. Like it was your entire fault that you did…what you did. Like you ruined the wedding. You didn't. It was the best day of my life, the day I claimed you as mine." He goes to talk but I butt in before he can. "I want you to be happy. We're the Mellarks now, a family. That wasn't you that day. As far as I'm concerned, that person isn't even a part of you."

"But, but, what if I hurt you again?" He says, barely a whisper. He has tears in his eyes and I swear my face is a duplicate.

"Then we'll get through it, like we do everything."

"I don't trust myself Katniss. I hit you. I love you, I'm your husband. I'm supposed to look after you and I hit you."

"You didn't hit me. The capitol mutt hit me." I can see a faint smile form on his face and his eyes flash with floods of relief.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Enough to kiss me?" I say with a smirk. He walks over to me. He touches my mark. It's still red. Peeta's face goes back to before. Sad, upset and ashamed.

"I-I did this to you?"

"Peeta-"

"I can't be around you if I'm going to do this to you." He goes to run off.

"Peeta, please don't do this to me! I love you!" The door slams and my husband is out of the door.

After that, I just lay in bed for a week, waiting for him to come. To tell me how much he loves me and holds me in his arms. But he doesn't. I go back to square one. I slip into depression again. This time it's not Sae who comes by everyday to feed me but Haymitch. He tries to give me words of encouragement but I don't listen. I just twirl my wedding ring around my finger. I miss him. I know he loves me, and I love him to he just has to realise it.

I eventually go hunting again and sell my game. Even though I have more than enough it calms me and I know there are still a lot of people in District 12 that still require fresh meat. I catch Peeta looking at me through the bakery. I know he wants me back to, but he doesn't trust himself. Haymitch instructs me to get bread. I know I don't need any; I have a lot from when Peeta was living with me. It's just a plan to get me to speak to him. One day, I make myself go in, I'm determined I'm going to get him back. I'm going to go into the bakery empty handed and come back with one loaf of bread and my husband, I made a promise to myself this was what I was going to do.

"I'll just have 2 loaves of bread and my husband back please." He looks at me, astounded.

"I-I-I-"Whilst Peeta is stuttering I made my way to the other side of the counter and crash my lips onto his. He freezes but he soon returns the action. He pulls away.

"I'm sorry Mrs Mellark." He grins, happy to have me back.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

I stay at the bakery all day and we eventually walk home, hand in hand. We sit down on the sofa in our normal position, me with my head in his lap and him stroking my hair.

"I want you to promise me something. We can't block each other out again. I can't cope with that. I want you to stay with me. I want to sleep in the same bed with you every night because I am never ready for the nightmares that come."

"Nothing would make me happier." We don't stop kissing for at least an hour, only stopping for air. I know I did the right thing. His thumb keeps brushing my cheek, it sends me into a trance, but I'm still alert, alert enough to hear the fire alarm going off. Peeta gently laid my head down on a cushion and rushed off, into the kitchen dragging out a burnt loaf from the oven. I start laughing but his face is still serious, but when he looks at me, I see a smile creep onto his face.

"I remember the time I through you the bread; this is what I did on purpose, so you could get some food. And so you would remember me, seems like it did the trick!" he says while giving me a massive wink. I love it when he winks, his nose wrinkles up and everything. He walks back over to me and holds his hands out.

"Think its bedtime for you, Mrs Mellark," I grab hold of his hand and pull him into me, giving him a passionate kiss. A kiss full of love, of promises, of life together. I couldn't be bothered to go upstairs, I'd rather sleep on the sofa in Peeta's warmth and the fire glowing, I signalled to Peeta and he came and snuggled by the side of me, grabbing the blanket from the other chair.

There was nothing in this world that would ever take me away from the boy with the bread. Ever.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So I have to say I'm a bit dissapointed with the response on the last chapter. As much as I would love it to be, I did not write this chapter, girlonfire121 did. A special thanks to Ms.k216 who reviewed every chapter that I have written. You should check out her story. WE SMASHED 7,000 VIEWS! I just wish more people would review...**

**Enjoy:)**

Why does life have to be so horrible? I heard Gale's old mate Thom died the other day. He was one of the whizz kids, brilliant with technology. He was helping rebuild the district. Whilst he was at work there was a massive explosion, he got caught up in it … Decapitated as his neck hit the metal shelf that stored all the books in their office. I shudder thinking about it.

Last night was the most worst sleep I have had since district 13. Waking up every hour or so screaming, sweating or shivering with fright. My nightmares had worsened since I found out about Thom, just thinking of him. Helpless. Getting on with his work, then suddenly a massive explosion. But luckily he was there, my husband. Every time I woke up, no matter how tired he was, he'd be there to comfort me. God, I love that man.

The sun was peeking through the curtains when I saw him stirring. What was he having a nightmare about? This is going to turn into an episode, an attack. I just knew it was. I put my arms on his shoulders forcing him to look me in the eye. They were black and dark. However hard I tried I couldn't find the man I'm in love with.

"You stupid cow, get your skinny little arms off me, just go away!" he said, flinging his arms and kicking violently. There was nothing I could do, apart from one thing. I kissed his lips ever so slightly but it managed to bring him back to reality.

"Omg Katniss, I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No Peeta, I swear you didn't." I grin. Ever since the wedding he has been even more concerned about me.

"But that kiss, I would love another one," he said cheekily. I get lost in those blue eyes. How could I not resist? I leaned in and kissed him on the lips. I hate it so much when he has an episode, it's like I'm helpless. I just have to stand there and watch him struggle, fighting to get back to reality.

"So what's your plan today, Mrs Mellark?" a smile crept on my face, Mrs Mellark sounds so good.

"How about you go and make me breakfast, and then I can spend the day with my husband. I've got a surprise for tonight," I hadn't got a surprise really, but he looked so excited so I'll have to think of one.

I get out of bed and leave Peeta there. He looks so cute when he first gets up, his blonde hair all scruffy, his blue eyes fresh, ready to face whatever the day ahead brings and a smile planted on his face. Today it's obviously from the kiss I gave him to bring him back to reality.

When I got in the shower, all I could think about is Thom's funeral, all his family got killed in the bombing and the last time I checked he didn't have a girlfriend. Maybe his mates might organise it. Then another thought came into my head. Gale's going to be there.

I quickly wash my hair and my body, get out the shower and slip on some clean clothes. I need to make sure Gale isn't going to be there. I can't go if that monster is there, but why wouldn't he? The two of them used to be best friends before Gale went to 2. After that him and Peeta grew closer as he used to pop into the bakery on his break.

I saw Peeta still lying on the bed, so I went over and sat on the side of the bed.

"Peeta, you know Thom?" His face flashes with confusion for a moment but then he knew who I was talking about. "I want to go to his funeral, but Gale's going to be there." His face soon turned to anger. I knew I should never have brought this up but Thom was a close friend of mine during the rebellion aswell. We always said we'd look out for each other no matter what. We weren't as close as he and Gale were, but we had our heart to heart conversations sometimes.

"Babe, I'll go if that's what you want, but I don't want to go nowhere near Gale after what happened" I wasn't going to force him to go anywhere he didn't want to go, so I dropped the conversation. I promised myself not to say anything about it and think of the surprise I'm meant to be giving Peeta tonight.

I went down to the kitchen to find a special delivery on the kitchen table.

"To my sweetheart"? It wasn't from Peeta. He doesn't call me sweetheart I looked inside to find a letter, from Haymitch.

_Dear sweetheart,_

_I know we've been through a lot together through these past years. Being your mentor in both games was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life. You and the boy were the best tributes I'd ever mentored before. _

_I always said to Effie, you and Peeta made the perfect couple, I was so right. Since you two have each other, I'm going to go and find my own 'star-crossed lover'. Don't worry, I'm not going forever, I just need some company since you and Peeta don't bother coming round anymore._

_Don't let anyone get between you and lover boy, you listening to me? Never shut each other out again, okay? You need each other more than anyone else. _

_Don't miss me to much sweetheart. I'll see you soon,_

_Haymitch x_

He's leaving us? Why is everyone going? It's like I've got some poisonous bubble around me, whoever comes close always has to disappear or get as far away from me as possible so they can live a happy life. Mother moved to District 2 to continue living, Gale moved to District 4. I know it was so he could work there, but he didn't have to go. Thom's dead. Haymitch touring the whole of Panem to find some company. The only person I have here with me, is the love of my life, Peeta Mellark and I don't even deserve him.

Peeta comes down and when he sees the look on my face he assumes the worst.

"Haymitch is gone!" I sob. He opens his arms and I crawl into them.

"Oh Katniss. He'll come back. He just wants to be happy like us. Anyway we have each other." He keeps rubbing circles on my back until I calm down.

"You must think I'm terrible. I'm so ugly when I cry all the time. A girl who cries and has nightmares. What a catch."

"Don't you dare talk about yourself like that again Katniss. I think you perfect, whether you're all dressed up ready for an interview with Ceaser or when you've just stepped out of bed. You've never been more perfect to me."

I kiss him full on the lips. "Now where's my cheese buns!?" I raise my eyebrow and he laughs.

"There's the woman I married!"

**A/N: Short I know, but I just wanted a bit of fluff before the next chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14

We eat our breakfast crazily grinning at each other but I can't help but think about Thom and Haymitch. These past few months I haven't paid attention to him. I feel so guilty.

"Katniss?" I was so engrossed in my thoughts I wasn't even listening to my own husband. "I need to go, to the bakery. Will you be alright?"

"Sorry, yeah sure. I'll see you later for my surprise?" He grins.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He leaves and I get ready to go hunting. I need some time alone and we have almost no food in the house. I put on my hunting jacket and boots and leave. I know the path like the back of my hand.

I sit on mine and Gales usual rock. It feels to big without his closeness there. He told me he loved me right here. I shudder at the memory.

"_I love you."_

"_I know" _

It's also the place I realised I love Peeta and the place me and my dad used to come. By the lake is where mom and dad had their toasting. After he died, mom couldn't face it anymore and she hasn't come here since they day they realised their love.

After setting up a few snares that I decide I will check on later I go to see Peeta. I need to get some things for later tonight anyway.

As a make my way to the bakery I see there are crowds of people in here all wanting just a piece of the 'Mellark bakery' magic. As I enter he looks up and immediately grins.

"Hey! What brings you here? Not that its not a nice surprise you just don't usually show up when I'm working."

"Shall I leave? You look a bit busy and I don't want to distract you.."

"No don't leave! Now what is it I can get my beautiful wife?"

"How about a cupcake and a loaf of bread?" Peeta goes of to get it when some young girls enter. Becky Crawford and her gang.

She goes up to Peeta frosting some cookies. He doesn't even look up as she says,

"Hey Peeta! You frost those cookies perfectly!" He just mumbles a quick thanks but she looks annoyed. She twirls her hair around her fingers and carrys on.

"You have such strong muscles! Do you work out?" Her tries at flirting with my husband don't work but I just stay where I am watching on. I want to see how he reacts. He looks up.

"Look Becky, what do you want?"

"To be your girlfriend! Come on that **wife** of yours will never find out. I'll make you so much happier then her and-"

"Look Becky, my wife is probably the greatest most kindest most prettiest person I have ever met. I would never even think of getting with you. You're a nice girl, I don't doubt that, but I'm happily married." My husband. Ever so polite. I guess I'm the stubborn one in this marriage. He rushes over to bring me my food. We full on kiss on the lips so Becky and her followers know for well he is mine and mine only.

After eating my cupcake I bid goodbye to Peeta and make my way home. I get dressed again but this time into something more presentable. I leave Peeta a note and make my way to our meeting place leaving a trail of notes behind me for him to follow.

He arrives a few minutes later with a look of bliss on his face. Fire burning and bread at the ready. I've organised our toasting.

**A/N: Short I know but I've been so busy this week and I just wanted to get something out. Again, I'm really dissapointed and the response to the last few chapters. Thank you to those who did review.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Okay, so thegirlonfire121 wrote most of this but I did add a sentence at the end. To thank you guys for reviewing so quickly I decided to post this today, but don't expect the same tomorrow as the next chapter is only half written...**

**Enjoy:)**

He looks at me in utter shock and I don't know what he's thinking.

"Oh, Katniss, you didn't have to organise this. Being married to you is enough, just quit with these surprises!"He grins at me and I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful in my life. He comes and sits opposite me after giving me a peck on the cheek. His lips are so soft against my scarred skin.

We both just sit there, starring into each other's eyes like there's no one else in this world. Just me and my husband, together forever. I don't know what he sees in me sometimes. I'm always pushing him away when the world seems to stop in its tracks but he's there, picking up the pieces. All I see when I look in the mirror is a sign of war. A sign of a weak girl that can't fight her own battles. A sign of a girl that has destroyed everyone's lives including her own without even knowing. It's then I realise that he doesn't deserve me. I'm to stubborn for him. I can never give him what he wants because I'm to shallow. He deserves that girl in the bakery. She actually said the truth, that she probably would make him a lot happier than I ever will. I look deep into his eyes and sigh.

" I'm sorry. For everything that I've put you through. You deserve someone that'll treat you better than I ever will. Please forgive me." I start walking off but I feel someone tug on my shoulder and I just stand there. Frozen like a statue. No one should ever have to go through what I've done to Peeta. I don't know why I didn't realise it before but I know that I can't do this anymore. I can't carry on feeling guilty. Before I know it, tears are streaming from my eyes. What have I just done?

"Why does this always happen to us, Katniss? Whatever we want to do, something always has to stop us. It's as if people can't stand seeing us happy. They want to see us going through pain for what we've caused. I'm not letting it happen again, I swear."

I turn around to see him also tearing up. Why do I always hurt the ones I love the most? "We're going to stand up to them, no one's ever going to take me away from you again and no one's taking you away from me. I'm not ever letting you go, I promise!" I feel the urge to run into his arms, but I can't take it. I've pushed him away yet again. Both of us know that there is nothing we can do to stop this torture. I think that's what hurts us the most. I just stand there, looking him up and down. I stand there thinking. What did I ever do to deserve this perfect creature? There is nothing in this world I want more than being with him, being Mrs Mellark. I've been stupid, I don't know what gets into me sometimes.

I can't live without him. I can't live without the boy with the bread. I have to sort things out once and for all. I walk over to Peeta, grab hold of his hands and bring him closer to my body. The warmth of his body against mine calms me and I feel his heartbeat steadying as I move my hands around his waist. I put me ear on his chest so I wont have to meet his gaze. I can't stand to see him cry.

"I'm s-sor-rry," I can't help but sob between. I've probably messed everything up, again. He held me tight, tighter than ever before. I can't believe I messed up the chance to actually confirm the marriage to my beautiful Peeta Mellark.

"You know this is all I've ever wanted. I've always had my eye on you," I can't help the smile that creeps on my face, "Remember in the games, when I said I watched you walk home every day? Every time you did, I wished that one day I would be standing here, with you, with my Katniss Mellark. I've never wanted anything more than this. I love you so much, you know that." He looks at me straight in the eye and I know what he is saying is straight from the heart. "I want you to be my wife forever and always, till death do us part, in sickness and in health. I want to grow old with you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you Kat."

I don't deserve this boy. He forgives people to easy. He is mine now though and no one else's, and believe me when I say that I'm never letting him go again. Ever. He holds my hand in reassurance. The two of us walk over to the fire, put the bread on the stick and start toasting it.

"I am never, ever leaving your side ever again. I don't know what happened then, it just felt like you deserved someone better. A girl that will treat you better than I would."

"Seeing you like that is so horrible, but I want to remember every moment I have with you because we never know, it might be our last. Now get over here and give me hugs!" I love the warmth of his body, I feel so safe by his side. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here. I lay my head on his lap and stare into his eyes. They blood shot from crying and he has dark circles under his eyes. This is what I caused.

"I suppose were officially together then? Do you want some toast?" he says grinning. I love making him happy, it sends a warm glow through my body.

I **love **the boy with the bread so much no one would ever understand. I don't even know how to express how much I love him. I'm not good with words like him so I guess I will have to find another way to show him.

"You love me, real or not real?"

"Real, so very, very real." I say it with meaning and I fall asleep right there in his arms.

**A/N: Not my longest one yet, but don't worry, I am aiming to make them longer. It's just hard for me:)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I wrote this chaper and it took me a long time to write this so I hope you all like it.**

**Enjoy:)**

After that it was a month of pure happiness. Peeta told me how much he loved me every day, me the same. I fell asleep in his arms every night. Life was finally good. I was reminded of Prim everyday; Buttercup would often interrupt me and Peeta in the middle of a passionate kiss. I hate that cat.

Peeta was always baking and always testing new recipes on me. I would always approve of course. I was always joking about how fat he was going to make me but he just laughed it off and reminded me how perfect I was anyway. We would often fall asleep on the sofa just holding each other, my head in his lap and him stroking my hair. He never bought up the question I always thought he would.

We would often walk past the bakery hand in hand and he would stare at the laughing children and I know he wanted them. He never asked. I think he knows it's something I never want. The games aren't coming back and somewhere in the back of my mind I realise that. But somewhere in there is the thought that one day a relative of Snow will take away Peeta and my child. They already took Prim. That's why I can never have them. It makes me feel guilty though. That I will never give Peeta what he wants. I and Peeta still haven't made the next step intimate step in our relationship, so I'm sure I won't have to worry about children for a while.

One night we are in our usual position, watching the TV when he does ask. I start sobbing straight away. He leaves the question and I don't think he will bring it up again. We go back to the way we were. He starts painting more though. When I'm fast asleep in the middle of the night, hair a mess in one of Peeta paint drenched shirts. He swears I'm even more perfect then. I still don't understand what he sees in me. He doesn't deserve me. Someone who doesn't want to give him children. So I start to do the worst thing I could do. I push him away.

"Katniss, please don't do this. Tell me what's the matter. I love you, you know you can trust me."

"It-its nothing Peeta, I promise. It's me not you."

"I know you Katniss, it's not nothing. Please, I want to help you." I can't not tell him.

"I don't want kids, okay. Ever." His face immediately droops. "I know you have always wanted them and the guilt is tearing me apart. I want one to make you happy but I can't have my own flesh and blood taken away."

"Don't you ever think about it though? A mini you. Someone that is a mix of both of us. Wouldn't you just love it?"

"I'm sure I would. But I won't ever know, because it will never happen. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Katniss, I just wish you would stop forbidding things before you have time to think about it."

He walks back into the kitchen with tears in those big blue eyes.

We didn't talk for days after that. We still fall asleep in the same bed but not in each others arms. We still watch TV on the sofa but not in our normal positions. He tells me he loves me on the way to the bakery but it doesn't come with his usual hug and kiss. He's slipping away from me and there's nothing I can do to get him back. Haymitch would know what to do. He's gone though like everyone else I love. I couldn't do that to a child.

We eventually do grow closer with time. It takes a lot of apologising but eventually when Peeta leaves for work in the morning it grows into a passionate kiss and Peeta's 10 minutes late for work. I just sit by the dining room table, feeling the burning heat his lips left on mine. I like it and find myself wanting more. I come to the conclusion that this is a good thing.

He comes home later on to a mountain of food that I prepared. It's satisfactory but Peeta acts like it's the best thing he ever tasted. I put my dish in the sink and I hear Peeta follow me. As I grab the sponge and start washing the dishes he places his soft hands around my waist and whispers loving words in my ear which cause me to smile. I turn around and his lips instantly crash onto mine. It causes that thing to ignite inside me again. The thing I have only felt twice, once in the cave and on the beach in the arena. I've never known what it is but whenever Peeta caresses my face of touches my lips it leaves a burn that makes me want it to carry on. But when I think about it in my head, I don't want it to carry on as the result could be much worse then we intended. We could end up with a child.

I pull away for air and I just simply shake my head. A look of sadness passes his eyes and he just grabs my hand and leads me over to the sofa. We just lay there in each others arms. I can tell he wants this but I'm not ready.

I take a deep breath and sigh. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Katniss. I'm never going to push you into something you don't want to do." I snuggle closer into him so that I'm practically sitting on his lap and his arms grow tighter around me.

"Can I come with you to the bakery tomorrow?" He looks at me like I have two heads.

"You want to learn how to bake or just stare at me all day?"

"Well from deep thinking about this, if I learn how to bake I get to spend more time with the best thing that's ever happened to me, and when you come home you will have better tasting bread to eat then yours!"

After discussing this for a while Peeta decides that I will help him at the bakery for a week and after debating about it for some time he decides to pay me with cheese buns and kisses. Which is fine by me.

* * *

We wake up early in the morning and Peeta has to free the duvet from me before I get up. We take the short walk to the bakery and it's still dark outside. The bakery seems bigger then I thought but that's probably because last time I was here I was too busy focusing on stupid girls stealing my husband. He takes me round to the back of the bakery. It is just as big as the store but has 20kg bags of flour everywhere. There are ovens all on the left side which makes it unbelievably hot even on this frosty morning. He shows me how to place the dough in the pan which I do with ease but when it comes to kneading, Peeta has to keep telling me how to do it and even then I don't get it. I can make a dough though and Peeta says that its hard to do. He rewards me with a kiss for my hard work of course. We get a lot of customers in the morning but it dies down as we get nearer to lunchtime.

As we sit down to eat dinner that night, hand in hand, Peeta says something that make me squeal with joy.

"Why don't you be my partner at the bakery? We can leagally because were married and you are very good at it." He never fails to make me blush.

"Okay, shall we go to the justice building in the morning to get the license. We will need the marriage certificate though right?"

"Yeah. It means you can cook and use the ovens. If we weren't married you'd have to fill out all sorts of forms."

"Okay, we'll go first thing tomorrow." He gives me a quick peck on the lips and we both go to bed cradling in each others arms.

* * *

The next morning we are both up and hour earlier to get the forms so I can work with Peeta. As we walk up the steps to the justice building I shudder at the thought of what happened the last time I was here. Aswell as being one of the best things that has ever happened to me, it is a reminder of what the capitol did to us. What the games did to us.

I shake the thought out of my head and cling onto Peeta's hand even tighter. I think he's thinking the same as me. Theres a woman sitting on the biggest desk I've ever seen and I have to look twice because for a moment I think it's Effie. Peeta agreed beforehand to say everything. He is the owner of the bakery after all.

"Hello m'am. My name is Peeta Mellark and this is my wife Katniss Mellark." I smile at my new name. "I am the owner of the Mellark bakery. I am requesting that my wife Katniss works with me there."

"Just one second Mister Mellark and I will go and get you marriage record."

I give Peeta a smile and look around. It's a lot different then it used to be during the games. Not that I took much notice to the décor when you've just been reaped. After about 10 minutes the Effie look alike comes back but with the major.

"Katniss, Peeta. Please follow me into my office." I start shaking and Peeta notices it so he puts his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. We walk into the majors office and he sits us both down.

"Hello Mr and Mrs Mellark. We seem to have found you marriage certificate, but I am ashamed to say it is invalid. You did get married didn't you?" Peeta seems as shocked as me.

"Yes we did. We have witnesses and everything!" I can see tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Mister Mellark but it seems we have no record of you marriage. According to our records you and Katniss aren't Mister and Mrs Mellark. You are Mister Mellark and Miss Everdeen." I gulp. This means Peeta and I aren't married. It means we can't live together legally. And this ring I'm wearing means nothing. Because I've lost the boy with the bread and this time it isn't my fault.

**A/N: OMG! Don't kill me! Love you all for you reviews:)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I was so happy with the response for the last chapter. I was overwhelmed with the response. I was worried people wern't going to take the news that Peeta and Katniss wern't legally married well, but you all did. I apologise for the lack of chapters but I am so busy with school. I have a bunch of final assesments before I break up for Chirstmas so I've been busy working on those. I break up for Chistmas on the 21st so I'll try to write a few more chapters and update more over the Christmas period. Thank you for the reviews, I am so overwhelmed that over 10,000 people have viewed this. I love you all. I didn't really know where to go with this chapter so pm me with any ideas that you would like to see.**

**Enjoy:)**

"What's going to happen now then, Katniss Everdeen?" Is he trying to say something here because I can't help but feel offended? I need to be Mrs Katniss Mellark not Everdeen. I hate the feeling that I've got right now. The feeling that I'm never going to be married to the boy with the bread, that all our past, what we went through, is for nothing. We're not even able to sleep in each other's houses without being arrested. Why does this always happen to us? Everything we try and do is always messed up, something always has to go wrong. What is the point in us even being in love anymore! People obviously don't want to see either of us happy and I know that for sure now but I'm not letting anything get in the way, I am going to become Katniss Mellark!

"Get married, officially!" I fling myself into his arms, nearly knocking him off his feet. This is what we want, what I want.

"I'm actually glad we can do it all again. To be honest,I think we rushed into it a little bit quick before. Not that it wasn't amazing but after what happened…"I kiss him on the cheek, intertwine my fingers in his and we both walk off down the corridor with our heads held high. No one is going to beat us. I can't help but feel relieved that this has happened. I mean being called a mutt in front of all your family and friends can be a little embarrassing ,especially when you get slapped too. I just hope that this time, it'll go smoothly. The thing I'm worried about most is what if I have a mental breakdown like I did on the night of the toasting or overthinking Cinna's death. I can't let this happen. Peeta saw the terror I was visioning and squeezed my hand for reassurance. I love this boy.

We walk back to the bakery, just smiling at each other, saying nothing and just listening to the birds around us. Peaceful. I can't think of anything better than walking with my husband to be to the place he was happiest in his childhood. As we walk back I see something I've never seen before. A wishing well. I guide Peeta over, hands still locked together.

"Make a wish. Here's a quarter." I say handing it to him gently. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath then throws it down. We had a little chuckle when it splashed down the bottom. I don't know why but it tickled both of us. I love it when he laughs.

"Here you go," he reaches into his back pocket and grabs a quarter, "make a wish!" What could I wish for? I've got everything here with me right now. Everything I'll ever need I already have. Then I thought of one thing. I closed my eyes tight, clenched my fists and wished for something I know would never happen. I wanted to bring back all the people I killed that were supporting me including Peeta's family, Prim and little harmless Rue.

"Can we go home instead of the bakery? I just want to settle down tonight." He asked. I looked into his eyes, I could see he was so tired. I couldn't say no so we started to walk home, hand in hand.

We get home to find a letter on the door, from Haymitch it seems.

_Hey sweetheart,_

_How are you and loverboy? I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine; I'm as ripe as a banana. I really need to talk to you so ring me sometime, don't worry about me too much sweetheart._

_By the way, we're__going to be coming back in a few days so stay safe,_

_Haymitch x_

"Do you think he's found someone?" I asked Peeta.

"Doubt it, who would ever find something interesting in that man?" he laughs, "but he did put we're in the letter so maybe he has. Don't worry about him though Katniss, he'll be alright. Now come on, let's go and snuggle up on the sofa." He kissed me on the cheek and we walked out of the kitchen. He dragged me into the living room, got some blankets and snuggled both of us up.

"I love you so much beautiful." Before I can say anything back, he's asleep like a baby, cute and without a sound creeping out of him. This is the boy I fell for many years ago and finally I'm going to be with him till the day I die.

_But then I'm running, away from fire. Peeta's on the otherside of the river. The mutts are chasing him and I'm sprinting now. He's in my reach and I can save him! I'm running as fast as my legs will carry me. But the fire is catching up with me and I can feel the heat on the back of my neck. Peeta's waving to be calling me to come to him. But then the fire swallows me hole as I see the mutts tear Peeta apart. He's calling me and I can't save him. He's screaming. "Katniss! Katniss!"_

I sit bolt upright with sweat dripping off my forehead. Peeta's got wide eyes and has a tight grip on my arm. I'm out of breath and tears are clouding my vision. I take one look at him and burst out crying. He is patient though and just buries his head in my hair as a cry all the tears I have.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Y-you were t-taken away from me. I was trying to save you but the mutts got to you before I could. I just can't lose you Peeta, I can't!" I sob.

"Shhh, Kat it's okay. I'm not going anywhere I promise." It's then that I realise how I don't have anyone else. I have no family. Peeta is my family. We need each other and without the other one we would be unable to function.

"I don't have anyone else. If you left me," I look deep into his eyes. "If you left me, if you left this earth then I would choose to die with you."

"Katniss-"

"No Peeta! This is not up for argument. We need each other. Just tell me that you will never leave my side, ever."

"I won't."

He keeps to his word. Technically, _legally, _we aren't allowed to live together. True to his promise he doesn't move out. We came to the agreement that we would carry on living together until the wedding which is in a few days time. There aren't many peacekeepers around anymore. Even if one did come knocking on our door, who would mess with 2 victors? He hasn't even mentioned children yet. I can understand why he wants them, he lost his whole family. So did I. And its for that reason why I can't have kids. I have explained this to him a thousand times over.

We did up the guest room in our house for Haymitch's arrival. Its been a week since we recived the letter from him and me and Peeta are growing more and more concerned for him by the day.

That is until me and Peeta are walking home from the bakery hand in hand. Hes rambling on about a new oven being ordered in from the Capitol but I'm not really listening. I'm to busy watching Effie stick her tongue down Haymitch's throat. Suppose there was nothing to be concerned about.

**A/N: Haymitch and Effie?! What will Katniss think? How will Haymitch react to his little secret being found out? How will Effie react at just how bad Haymitch lives?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hi! I can only apologise for the lack of updates but I am still so busy. I had alot of pm's asking for that special night for Peeta and Katniss. So I included it. It isn't graphic, well at least I don't think it is. I don't like some of those stories where the basis is just sex and there is no real storyline. It ruins it for me. Please let me know if I should change the writing.**

**Enjoy:)**

I quickly tapped Peeta on the shoulder and pulled him away from his train of thought. He goes to kiss me but I have more important things to worry about so I block my hands in front of my lips.

"No Peeta, look over there!" I say, pointing towards Haymitch and Effie still sticking their tongues down each others throat. He doesn't say anything for about a minute but in that time they have both realised we were watching them and are coming towards us.

"Ah, it's the lovebirds! How are you both doing?" He smirks as if nothing ever happened. I nudge Peeta to answer because if I do I'm afraid of what will come out. Have they been together all this time? Why didn't they tell us?

"Um, we're fine, um, when did um, this happen?" He gestures towards them both. Effie has heavy makeup on but her sea green lipstick is all smudged over her top and bottom lip. She seems to have got rid of her wig and apart from that I daresay she looks pretty.

"Why don't we go inside kids, this is kind of complicated to explain."

We end up walking into Haymitch's house and to my surprise it isn't as messy as I thought it would be. He still has takeaway containers and empty bottles of liquor and champagne. He tries to tidy them in an attempt to hide them but Effie's face still wrinkles up in disgust. He notices this and starts to spray an ill smelling air freshener to try and cover it up. Me and Peeta both look at each other in disbelief. Haymitch of all people has never been one to put on a show to impress people and has never really cared about what people thought of him.

"Okay, you can sit down now, I seem to have got rid of all the mess. I'm sorry, I don't have any tea, I don't drink it."

"No it's fine, me and Katniss have already had a drink about twenty minutes ago, seriously it's fine."

"Yes, I only drink herbal tea anyway, so if we're going to move into together I'll get some in from the Capitol." She grins. I really don't know what she sees in him.

"Right I guess you two want to know how we got to this stage then huh?" He says, snuggling up to Effie opposite us both.

"Well," she explains, "it all started when Haymitch here stopped off in the Capitol! He was just wondering around and then when I saw him I invited him out for dinner. It would be rude of me not to and I'm very big on manners."

"Later that night this stunning little princess said I could stay with her as I had no place to go. Then one thing lead to another…"

"You didn't!" I exclaim. Me and Peeta haven't even done that yet and we're married.

"No, Katniss, dear he means we kissed! From then on we went out every night and we grew so close, when he said he was coming back to District 12, I just couldn't leave without him. We're in love." I think I was just sick in my mouth. I get it if they want to live together, but in love? I don't think so.

"Me and Peeta aren't officially married. We're going to have to do it again. Something to do with the records. Would you mind doing it all again?"

"No! I would love to plan it again Katniss and I would love to walk you down the aisle again. When's the wedding?"

"Tomorrow." I gulp.

After an hour of lecturing from both Haymitch and Effie, she has decided to decorate the venue and Haymitch walk me down the aisle. Just like before. Me and Peeta eventually escape an walk hand in hand towards our house and I can't help but feel jolts of electricity run through me as he does. It seems I want him more and more these days and sometimes, just sometimes I think it wouldn't be such a bad thing if we did _it_ and Peeta's slowly bringing me round to the idea that a child wouldn't be the worst thing.

As we go to bed that night we sleep in a different position. We are both facing the same way and his arm is wrapped across my waist and his warm breath and is tickling me. He always asks me the same question every night and I know it's coming.

"Still not want a baby, honey?" I take a deep breath and cling onto his arm for dear life.

"Maybe I'm coming round to the idea." I stammer. He sits bolt upright in bed and looks straight into my eyes, his wider than I've ever seen.

"Did you just say yes to a baby?" I take another deep breath and finally think over my decision. It doesn't matter what I think anymore. Its Peeta who wants this and he's wanted it for so long. Everytime he asks and I turn it down I feel nothing but guilt that it's my fault he's not fully happy. After everything he's given to me it's time I gave something back and this is my way of doing it. I guess I want it to. It would be good to have another little Peeta I could love just as much.

"Yes, I want a baby." I haven't even blinked before I'm on my back, Peeta hovering over the top of my and passionately kissing me.

"Peeta, slow down! We have plenty of time, just slow down." He slows down considerably but once he get to my t-shirt he looks at me for conformation.

"You can take it off Peeta." I bite my bottom lip and I am starting to second guess my decision. Then I remember it's for Peeta and in a way I want this to. After we have both rid ourselves of all clothes but our underwear he looks deep into my eyes and all I see is pure love.

"Y-your perfect Katniss" He looks me up and down.

"That's really nice Peeta, but are we going to get down to business or not?" I smirk.

"Slowly Katniss, remember!" I laugh and he silences it with a kiss. He slowly takes off all my clothes that I have left. He looks at me again making sure I absolutely want this. And I do. So when he enters me I feel nothing but love for this man who I want to spend the rest of my life with. As we lay back down to sleep he whispers in my ear something that breaks my heart.

"Please don't regret this in the morning Katniss."

The next morning I wake up to the smell of pancakes slowly wafting into my room. I can hear Peeta's unsuccessful attempt at singing from downstairs but it still makes me smile. I know I will never forget this, _ever._ Then I realise I won't, because today I will get married for the second time.

**A/N: Hope you liked it, I'm sorry for the dissapointment with updates:(**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This isn't my shortest chapter but hey-ho. I really wanted to get something out. I spent a lot of time on the wedding so I hope it lives up to your expectations. Before you read I just want to show my sincere thanks as I now have over 13,000 views on this story. So thank you really. I'm sorrry I've been a stranger the last few days. Just to let you know I'll probably update sometime next week because I'm still busy with school.**

**Disfrutar:) - (enjoy in Spanish:D)**

I tread downstairs ever so quietly, heel first and then your toe hits the ground. The perfect way to catch game and sneak up on your husband it seems. Well fiancé in my case but not for long. I use my technique and sneak ever so quietly into the kitchen where Peeta's back is turned, slaving over the hob, cooking eggs I think. He's failing his attempt and singing but in doing so he has only made me love him that slight bit more. If that's even possible, of course.

I then switch to a run and wrap my arms around his waist. I whisper ever so quietly in his ear.

"So what time am I getting married to you today Mr Mellark?" He froze and relaxed quickly and I can practically feel his smile underneath me. I rest my chin on his bony yet slightly muscular shoulder.

"Well it depends Miss Everdeen, we can both listen to Effie and be apart for about 2 hours or we just meet her at the justice building and get ready together."

"Hmm. I think I'll need to think about it and to help with my decision I think I'll need a cheese bun." I smirk sarcastically.

"Anything for you."

Of course, I'm only playing with him; he knows I want to spend as much time as I can with him. After teasing him for a little while we both decide to get ready together. I get dressed in the gown I wore last time. Peeta's watching me like a hawk as I get undressed and slip into the gown but after last night I don't mind at all. Then a thought hits me and I don't know whether to believe it or not.

"Peeta! You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding! It's bad luck!" He thinks about it for a second. Then he walks over to me and places his hand under my chin, forcing us to make eye contact. He knows only too well what his eyes do to me.

"I think we've had all the bad luck two people can get in a lifetime. And besides, so what if we have a little bad luck. Nothing could stop me being happier then I am right now."

"Kiss me." I demand.

"Nothing would make me happier."

As I walk down the aisle with Haymitch on my arm and Effie in front as the flower girl, I start to fully understand what Peeta was saying earlier. We have had nothing but bad luck all of our lives. Now, finally, we may have all the good luck in the world. Each other.

We hold both hands together all the way through the ceremony and just like last time I pay no attention to the person leading the ceremony. Then it comes to the promises of love. Peeta's first.

"Katniss. I love you. Everybody in the whole of Panem knows I love you. I don't think you realise just how much I do. So today, as I stand before everyone announcing just how much I do, I hope you of all people understand that I love you. Anyway, who in this room can say that they've married the most beautiful woman in the world, twice? Because I can. And that's why I consider myself the luckiest man alive. And I can't wait to finally be able to call you mine, grow old together, have grey hair together and have children together."

I seriously think that I might start crying and I can barely get out my words.

"I want to say I'm sorry, for everything. I'm sorry I treated you so badly during our first games. I'm sorry that I pushed you away during the quarter quell. I'm sorry you felt you had to give your life just so I could have everything. I'm sorry that it took you getting hijacked for me to realise how much I need you and how much I loved you. I'm sorry that when you finally came back to me that I pushed you away even further. I'm sorry that our first marriage was never official. I'm sorry it took me so long to agree to have a baby. I'm sorry that I will never be enough for you."

There are tears streaming down both of our faces and however cheesy it sounds, I'm in my element.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mr Mellark, you may kiss your bride." Peeta's grin occupies over half his face and I'm sure mine is a duplicate. He gently cups my face in his hands and kisses me sweetly and for a long time. I hear woops and cheers in the audience I almost forgot were there.

We walk back down the aisle hand in hand and that's the way it stays all night. Effie forces us to have a reception because we didn't have one last time. There was fancy Capitol food that Effie had shipped in but I'm sure Peeta had a say in it because there are bowlfuls of lamb stew and cheese buns everywhere. After the night finally ends me and Peeta literally fall into bed. He puts his arm around my waist but his other hand still seems to find mine.

"I think I'm really going to like being married to you for a second time."

"Me too." I really believe it as well.

"It'll be even better when we have a little girl of our own to share." I twirl my wedding ring round my finger before I reply making sure that I answer this just right.

"No, nothing could beat the feeling I have right now. I can't wait to meet our little boy though, when he finally decides to live in me for 9 months."

"Well let's hope it won't be long, your insides seem to be a lovely place to stay and I'm sure he'd like it."

"Yes," I laugh, "let's hope it won't be long."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I apologise again for the lack of updates but again school is to blame. I really wanted to get something out before Christmas because I probably won't update again till New Year, which again I apologise for. This week made me realise that I have the best readers on fanfiction! I saw this story that had been on fanfiction for about a year. I wasn't to bad either and it has got 20 reviews. So this week when I found out that I have over 14,000 views and over 100 reviews I was astounded. So I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking time to read this story and everyday when I'm snowed under with homework, it makes me feel guilty that I just simply dont have the time to update. Thank you for your dedication to this story and hopefully in 2013 my teachers will stop giving me homework. Now at the end of this chapter there is a huge cliffhanger but I suspect you'll see it coming. See you in the New Year and as always,**

**Enjoy:)**

"Peeta I need to get ready, you really need to stop kissing me!"

"What can I say, I can't keep my hands off you!" he smirks.

"Well your hands are going to have to keep off me, we have visitors coming soon!" He groans. Annie and Douglas are coming to stay for a while. I love the name Douglas. It means dark water and he is named after Finnick's ability in water. Haymitch and Effie are getting married in a few weeks and everyone we know is invited.

We tread downstairs and start on breakfast. I start to fry some eggs and feel a little bit lightheaded.

"Are you okay honey?" Peeta says in almost a whisper, his voice full of concern.

"I'm fine, I promise. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Nightmares?" He asks, enveloping his arms around me gently. I just nod. It was about 5 or 10 years into the future. We had a child and they were reaped. I went to volunteer but they wouldn't let me. I watched my own flesh and blood die for entertainment and there was nothing I could do. So if we do finally have a child of our own I will make it my life's mission to protect it from ever having to be hurt.

* * *

Later in the day Annie turns up with Douglas. Me and Peeta each hold him for a little while whilst the other makes conversation with Annie. He has the best parts of both Finnick and Annie. He has their sea green eyes and I can tell he is going to have soft curly hair. Peeta's face lights up when he holds him and I can tell he's going to be a great father when the time comes.

Effie and Haymitch follow soon after and Effie is positively beaming. Haymitch is sober for once and I'm pretty sure it's Effie's influence. She says that she and Haymitch are finally going to tie the knot this weekend, boxing day I think, and even Haymitch looks happy for once. I'm pretty sure I see a smile on that freshly shaven face. It'll be so good for Haymitch to have an excuse not to be drinking; he can't seem to keep his hands off Effie and I suppose that's not such a bad thing…

"So how are you and Peeta doing?" Effie asks, "Katniss?" I found myself being distracted by the little boy, who was in Peeta's arms. The boy that brought him joy even though he isn't his. That boy in his arms could have a friend, that friend could be our baby. Our mini Peeta.

"Uh, sorry. Yeah we're good," I see Peeta give me a cheeky smile, "We're so much happier now that were officially married, I'm so happy for you and Haymitch. You'll love being married." I see a smile creep onto her face underneath the makeup and I can see that she really does want to marry the man that fell off the stage at the 74th Hunger Games and embarrassed the whole of District 12 to the Capitol.

"What are you doing for Christmas this year? Me and Haymitch were thinking about inviting everyone round ours." The first thing I hear after this is Haymitch spitting out his water. He obviously didn't expect that to spill out of her mouth. I don't think Peeta believed that she'd just said that by the look on his face, Annie's was the same. I thought it was an excellent idea, these people are the closest to family as we can all get. Effie's like a mother to all of us; making sure we're alright, always looking out for us. While this thought flashed through my mind, every eye in the whole room came to meet me. They wanted me to give an answer.

"We'd love to come."

Every face in the room dropped.

"What!" I shrugged. "We're practically family right, why not spend Christmas together? It'll be better then sitting at home all day."

"I agree with Katniss." Peeta says

"Yeah you would." Haymitch grumbles. He turns to Effie. "Sweetheart, I thought it was just us for Christmas. We're getting married the day after. We can do the whole family get together, celebrate the birth of Jesus next year. I just want this year to be about us." He blushes. I guess nobody though Haymitch had it in him.

"Oh! Of course I'll spend it with you honey-bun! I just thought you know, you'd want everyone around you."

* * *

Annie left soon after that. Haymitch and Effie were being too soppy if you ask me, and Peeta and I were to occupied with Douglas. I know he would make a great father someday. As we're settling into bed that night Peeta doesn't stop talking about him.

"…and his eyes, aren't they the most beautiful thing!? Kat?" He had been rambling on for about 5 minutes and as much as I love my Peeta, I had totally switched off.

"What?" He laughs.

"Still not feeling well?" I nod. He kisses my forehead lightly. "Go to sleep. I'll book you an appointment at the doctors in the morning."

I wake up to the smell of fried bacon but that's nothing new. I trudge downstairs still not feeling good. I sit at the table and immediately start tucking in. Peeta sits next to me with just toast for his breakfast.

"I booked you and appointment at the doctors. In about half an hour actually." I bolt upstairs and get dressed faster than I can ever remember. I kiss Peeta goodbye and make my way to the doctors.

"Katniss Mellark?" I walk in and the doctor asks me a few questions which I answer easily but I don't really understand why she's asking them to me. I only have a bit of nausea. She leaves the room and comes back with my diagnosis and gives me a picture. But it doesn't make sense.

I sit on the bench outside the doctors and play the game that Doctor Aurelius taught me to do when I get confused.

_My name is Katniss Mellark.  
I killed President Coin.  
I got away with it.  
I married Peeta Mellark.  
__And I'm pregnant with his child._

**A/N: Again thank you for your dedication! Wait, what's that box underneath there? Oh my gosh, its the review box! How about leaving me a little message about the chapter! I love reading all the kind words I get and always send a pm to each reviewer thanking them if I have the time to do so.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Now now ladies and gentleman, I know your screaming at me through your computer screen for leaving you on that cliffhanger for so long without updating for a while and I'm sorry.:( But whilst I was gone you guys did me proud at reviewed an awfull lot for which I appriciate. Now I must apologise again as 'thegirlonfire121' puts a lot into this story and I keep forgetting to thank her! OMG: (! She wrote most if not all of this chapter, well I wrote Peeta's POV but thats only short she wrote the rest. So big thaks to her, woooo.**

**I change POV in this chapter but I do have it labelled so hopefully you won't get confused. Dont forget to review and have a happy new year!**

**Enjoy:)**

How can I tell Peeta that I'm pregnant? As much as I love him there is no way that he will understand what this means. Having a child is a lot of responsibility and I'm not sure if we're ready. I know I said yes to a child but now that it's here, I don't know if I can do this. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but there's still that nagging thought at the back of my mind.

And then there's the telling him. How do I tell a man who's wanted a child for practically his entire life that he finally has one? If Peeta was the one who was carrying a child here I know that he would want me finding out to be special, so I plan to do the same. I make the trek back home and decide not to tell Peeta. Not yet at least.

As soon as I walk in, I can smell the air is full of bread. He's been baking again. Lately, I see him do nothing but bake. He only does it when he's nervous and I can't help but wonder why. I'm the one who's pregnant! If anyone should be nervous, it's me. As soon as he sees me he comes running up to embrace me. I need to spend as much time with him as possible. I need to put a brave face on and forget about what the future is going to hold. I need this time with my husband to be special. So here goes nothing.

"Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Are you okay?" I laugh. I hate keeping secrets from him but I know he would understand.

"I'm fine, I promise. He just said I might have the flu and to come back in a few days if I still don't feel well." I reply.

"Fantastic! We can't have my girl being ill over Christmas now can we! Not with the wedding on its way!"

"Yeah the wedding." I sigh.

The last thing I need is a wedding right now so I decide to tell Peeta tonight. Besides I won't be able to sleep tonight without him knowing. The nightmares of my child being taken away will take over me and the only way to recover is to have Peeta there. So whether I want him to know or not, I have no choice. His arms are so secure, he's the only person who can keep me safe and I can't help but feel guilty that I'm not telling him. He'll know in a couple of hours though.

He is still very gentle with me as I am supposed to have the flu and I have to admit I quite like being babied by him. He makes me food and drink as much as I like and he wraps me up in a blanket on the sofa. He comes and snuggles up beside me and wraps his arms around my waist, putting his hand on our growing child. Of course he doesn't suspect a thing.

I'm sure I fall asleep because when I wake up, he isn't there. But there is a note.

_To my wife,_

_I had a call from Eddie at the bakery. There's a problem with the new ovens that only I can sort out. Stay wrapped up and I'll be home before you know it._

_I love you._

_From your loving husband_

_xxx_

This couldn't be better timing.

_**Peeta's POV**_

I wish Eddie hadn't have called. I love it when Katniss sleeps. She is finally relaxed, in a zone where she doesn't have to worry about her mum or Haymitch or even me for that matter. I leave her a note and I hope she understands that I cant put this off. That I'd rather spend my time with her.

I fix the oven situation after about an hour. Turns out that someone unplugged them from the back. Sounds simple to fix, which it was, but deliveries of bread have to be made and without any bread to deliver, well you see my point.

I bake extra cheese buns for Katniss as an apology and practically run back home. That is until I find the note taped to the locked door.

_Honey_

_Come to the meadow,_

_I have something important to tell you.  
Oh and don't eat those cheese buns in your hand without me._

_I love you x_

My girl never fails to make me laugh. I make my way to the meadow remembering the good times we've had there. I hope there's many more to come. I find many encouraging notes taped to trees on my way and I know Katniss has worked hard to surprise me. Even with the flu.

_There better be more then two cheese buns in that bag Peeta._

_Love Katniss  
x_

I soon get to the spot where we always meet at the meadow but Katniss is nowhere to be seen. My heart starts beating so fast I'm scared it's going to tear out of my skin. I spot a checkered blanket on the floor with a picnic basket on top. I run up to it.

_Daddy,_

_There better be enough cheese buns in that bag for three people! I'll be there in a minute so we can celebrate._

_Love,_

_Mommy and Mini Mellark  
x_

My hearts racing even faster now and I'm finding it hard not to jump for joy. I need to find out for certain if this is what I think it is.

"Katniss! Katniss!" I'm shouting so hard I'm positive I will have lost my voice in the morning.

But then I see her. There she is. She comes out from behind a tree with tears streaming down her face. I run up to her, wrap my hands around her waist, and spin her around, both of us laughing and crying at the same time. Then I remember that shes pregnant with my child, so I gently lay her down.

"Your not mad?" Is she being serious? I remind myself that she must be scared right now, so nervous about losing this child that she is. This is worrying her.

"I could never be mad at you. This child will be loved, so loved and I would die before I let anyone do anything to my little girl."

A smile immediately finds its way onto her face.

"Girl? I agreed to this baby on the terms that it would be a boy!" She teases.

"Hey," I hold both of my hands up, "I'm not the one who decides!" She laughs and snatches the cheese buns out of my hand. She counts three and takes two for herself. I can't help but grin.

Katniss thinks that all I need to make me happy is a baby. But I don't. I only need Katniss. A baby, that's a huge plus, but I don't just want anyones baby. I want Katniss' baby. And now that I have it, I'm never letting go.

**A/N: If you don't mind, I'd like to thank a few regular reviewers. You guys dont know how much I love you! So a big huge thanks goes out to you guys. You know who you are!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Just wanted to thank you all for your reaction to the last chapter. I hope it was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write. A big thanks goes out again to 'thegirlonfire121' for helping me with the chapter!**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: Okay, so it's just gone midnight in the UK but I've just had a pm I feel the need to answer. They asked, and I quote 'I really love your story! I love the way you write so maturely. Can I ask are you a girl or a boy and how old are you?' Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. Okay, just please don't leave any bad comments about my age or anything! I am still human.**

**Okay, so me and thegirlonfire121 know each other personally and we're good friends. I don't know about her but I'm not gonna tell you my real name because well there's some strange people out there and well, you get my point. We're both 13 and girls. Omg, I'm so nervous. Just don't leave any hater comments, we only like constructive criticism and nice reviewers on this fanfic, which so far, you all are. Woah this is long. Okay, go read.**

**Enjoy:)**

"Peeta!" He grumbles something I can't make out and proceeds to fall back to sleep.

"We need to get up come on!" I slap his hand that was resting on my stomach. I'm not showing yet, far from it, but Peeta is treating me like I'm ready to burst. Its been two weeks since I told him and the grin still hasn't left his face. Every night as we lay down in bed, he whispers goodnight to the child inside of me. He tells him about his day at the bakery and when he finishes he lays a gentle kiss on my belly button and places his hand where his lips left a burning trail of fire on my skin.

"Go back to sleep honey, the baby wants sleep." I laugh.

"I don't think so Peeta, we're both wide awake."

"Hmm, guess I better go fix you both some breakfast."

"Why do you think I woke you up!" I tease. He gives me a quick peck on the lips and trapezes downstairs. To be perfectly honest, I didn't want to get up either. Haymitch is getting married today and since he's been to both of our weddings we owe it to him to go to his. But he's getting married to Effie here. The capitalized, over the top escort. I just know that there's going to be a bunch of reporters there. They're going to want to know all about our marriage and when we plan to have children. I don't think I can deal with that yet.

I smell bacon so soon make my way downstairs as well. I tap Peeta on the shoulder from behind and his hands find my waist.

"Do we really have to go today?"

"I think you know the answer to that Kat."

"But I am not ready to go out there and face the reporters Peeta! Do you realise how many questions we're going to get asked. And when they see these," I say, gesturing toward the wedding band hanging on my wrist, "they are going to go crazy. They're going to ask about our marriage"

He holds me tight and doesn't let go of me as sobs overtake my body. I stop after a while and he snuggles me in closer, still standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"Katniss, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay? When we step out there we're going to celebrate our mentor finally settling down. We won't have to clean up his house when it gets to messy anymore and we most certainly wont have to look after those wretched geese when he's too drunk to stand. Effie will have to agree to do all of that now. We have another person to look after now! I know your scared baby, but we'll get through it. We always do don't we? And so what if they ask! We can tell them how great we're doing and that we're happy, but not a word about my baby girl," He says, placing one hand on her belly, "I want to keep her secret for a little longer."

" I love you, so very much. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise it."

"No apology necessary. Your mine now and I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about it."

I eat my breakfast as slowly as possible but the time soon comes where I have to get dressed. There's no avoiding it.

I dress as low key as humanly possible. I wear a simple blue dress that goes just below my knees. I won't be able to wear dresses like this once the baby starts growing, so I may as well look good whilst I can. I decide to wear my hair down. I know Peeta likes it and I want to do anything I can to please him.

We meet at the top of the landing and he looks almost as good as he did on our wedding day. He's gelled his hair back, so it's all of his face and he wears a polka dotted bowtie along with a black tuxedo.

"You look beautiful." I blush.

"Come on. Let's go." He takes my hand, I take a deep breath and we climb into the car that's been waiting outside for quite a while now. It contains a very, very nervous Haymitch. Peeta's the best man and, naturally I'm maid of honour, well at least I think that's what it's called. A capitol tradition according to Effie. I am supposed to be travelling in her car but her dress is too big and puffy for me to fit in. I'd rather be with Peeta anyway.

"Haymitch, you okay there?" Peeta asks.

"I will be once I get some whiskey down my neck!" He snaps.

"Don't shout at Peeta! He was only asking if you were okay!" Peeta places his hands on my shoulder and whispers how much he'd wish the baby would stop making me angry. So do I.

"Hey, what's the matter with you two? What's with all the whispering and the…mushy?" Me and Peeta have a silent conversation with our eyes. He thinks we should tell Haymitch. I agree but am still apprehensive.

"Um, I don't really know how to say this without going over the top." He explains.

"Just spit it out boy!"

"Katniss is um-"

"Pregnant!" I squeal. Haymitch almost faints. He has a million questions, most of which Peeta answers. He's been paying a lot of attention to the baby; much more than me. He asks about the sex, which of course we can't answer and seems to pay a lot of attention to how I am. We explain how we want to keep this a secret for a little while longer and he agrees on the condition that he can tell Effie.

The time comes where we have arrived at the venue and I must say, Effie's done well. It's at the justice building of course but outside is decorated with bouquets of colourful flowers of every kind. Haymitch is still growing more nervous. I sense this is guy time so I kiss Peeta goodbye and tell him I'll see him later. He kisses the baby goodbye too and a grin takes over Haymtich's face. I think he's almost as excited about this baby as Peeta and I can only hope he has his own child with Effie one day.

I wait outside for Effie and it takes about 10 minutes to arrive. On schedule as always. Her face lights up at my sight and I think she's just as nervous as Haymitch. Her dress is just outright ridiculous, all puffy out at the sides and has tons of colours on I've never even heard of.

There are tons of photographers outside like I predicted and just a few reporters. They bombard me with questions about Peeta and I just politely reply that we're doing fine. Me and Effie rush into the building and we just sit in silence until the receptionist announces its time.

I walk up the aisle with Peeta first, hand in hand. He pats Haymitch on the back and I take my place to the right of the altar, Haymitch and Peeta to the left. Effie walks down the aisle beautifully and despite my suspicions, she manages to make it without falling flat on her face.

The 'wedding officer' as Effie calls it thanks us all for being here and asks all the reporters and photographers present to be silent throughout. They can take pictures an write things down, they just have to be silent. Next come Effie's vows.

"Haymitch, I have to admit, when I first met you I couldn't stand the sight of you. I mean come on, you fell off the stage in front of the whole of Panem! But you made me fall in love with you slowly and I hope I will never stop loving you." A single tear runs down her cheek and Haymitch tenderly wipes in off with his thumb. It's his turn now.

"Effie, I can't wait. I can't wait to fall in love even more with you. I can't to buy a house with you. I'm sorry this is short baby, but I think you know exactly how I feel, how we both feel. I can't wait to start a family with you, and when Peeta and Katniss' baby is finally in the world I hope you finally realise that we can have children to. Just like they will."

There's a flash of bulbs, and a flood of reporters circle me and Peeta. Haymitch told the whole world I'm pregnant, and there's nothing I can do to take it back.

**A/N: Omg! Peeta and Katniss wanted to keep mini Mellark a secret and now its out! Muhahahahaha! Also, if you have time can you please take a look at 'youreapainteryoureabaker's profile? I personally think she's got a good story going on and I think you should take a look:)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hi guys! I hope this chapter isn't to urm, late in arrival I guess? I've been busy over the Christmas period so yeah. Me and the girlonfire121 have been working VERY hard on this chapter as we have for all chapters, I can assure you. We would both like to say a huge thank you to all the people who reviewed last chapter. Sometimes it's really hard work trying to make these chapters the best they can be and I hope they live up to your expectations. Big thanks to thegirlonfire121 who had most of the ideas for and wrote most of this chapter.**

**Enjoy:)**

I just know that I should never have told Haymitch. From the moment he said those words all my trust for him completely vanished. I thought I could trust that old man; obviously not. I don't know what to think. After the wedding people from the village came to congratulate me and Peeta. There is no evidence to suggest that I am actually pregnant apart from what the doctor told me. That's what scares me. That all this hype could be for nothing. That all this news and excitement about my pregnancy could be for nothing. That nothing will be there. That in 9 month's time, my baby will be gone. The baby I've grown to love.

I wish I hadn't have told Haymitch in the first place anyway. And Peeta knows it. I can tell he wishes it too. He keeps whispering to me at night, telling me that it's better out then in and now that everyone knows, mini Mellark will have even more love.

That is complete and utter rubbish.

The Capitol will eat up this baby and make it a piece in their game, just like me and Peeta. Yes, it is a new set of people, but that doesn't mean they'll hesitate to hurt my baby. I can't be dealing with all this stress and worry over a baby I didn't want in the first place.

I sit at home all day, crying on the rocking chair Peeta put in the nursery. I sit there and cry with the curtains closed, shutting everyone out in the process. I hear screams at the door, reporters calling for me and Peeta. That just makes the tears flow even more.

For the few days I sit there, something eventually clicks in my head. I know I have to do something. This has been going on for days now. I stand up, slip on one of Peeta's old jumpers and walk to the front door. I open it carefully, expecting there to be a swarm of people, craning to get a glimpse of the pregnant Mokingjay.

I open it fully now as the swarms of people aren't there. There aren't people craning their heads around my front door to get a glimpse of the pregnant Mokingjay. Where are they?

That's when I see it. Someone was moving them all away, pushing them behind barriers someone had placed well away from the Victors Village. Someone who I shall thank profusely when they turn around. They do. That's when I see his face. It's Haymitch.

Guess I won't be thanking him then.

"Katniss!" He yells, "Inside, now!"

A few minutes later Haymitch lets himself in.

"What the hell was that!" I yell.

"Um, me saving your damn butt!" He yells, in the same tone as me. He doesn't even seem to care that he caused all of this.

"Yeah you should be saving my 'damn butt'. You dragged us into this mess so you'll drag us back out. We told you many, many times not to say anything. I guess even that's too much to ask. Maybe if Effie had asked you to keep it a secret, you would've. You don't pay any attention to us anymore do you? Don't you realise all the mess you've caused!?" Tears are freely flowing down my face now. Peeta seems to have walked in through the back door during my rant and is now trying to comfort me. Haymitch keeps trying to talk.

"Sweetheart-"

"Don't you dare call me that!" I snap. "From now on, you call me Katniss." He looks like he's about to burst into tears.

Peeta, ever the gentleman, politely asks Haymitch to leave, which he does, but not without uttering a word that shatters my heart into a million pieces.

"I'm sorry...Katniss."I can't get my head around what has just happened. I opened the door to see Haymitch telling all the interviewers and reporters and photographers to get lost and now he's apologising? Effie's obviously kicked his ass into shape. Why is he doing this? He knows he will make me feel bad for treating him so horribly before.

"Haymitch, wait. Um, what did you just say?"

"I said I'm sorry." He gulps. He walks out the door without another word. I run back upstairs to the rocking chair and rock myself to sleep. I can't even face Peeta. He'll tell me to stop and to keep eating and drinking for the baby's sake. To be perfectly honest, this baby is the only thing keeping me from slipping into darkness. From slipping into that state where I don't pay attention to anyone or anything.

Over the next months the reporters outside the house die down but the phone still keeps ringing and ringing. Me and Peeta haven't released a statement or anything like that. At the wedding, Haymitch tried to cover up his tracks, saying that he was looking at it theoretically but by that point it was obvious I was pregnant. Mine and Peeta's hands were draped over my stomach protectively and that photo was plastered over all the magazines. I shudder at the thought.

"You cold honey?" Peeta asks. I'm around 4 and a half month's pregnant and other baby can suck its thumb, yawn and make faces according to the baby book Peeta bought.

"No, I'm just thinking. Turn the TV on. And get me a drink? And something to eat?" He sighs dramatically.

"The things I do for my wife!"

"Hey! You've always wanted kids! And the only way you can have them is by me being pregnant and that comes with cravings. Especially for your kisses." I grin. He comes back hands full with snacks that could feed an army.

"Oh that's okay. I'll never moan at that craving." He sneaks in another kiss and we snuggle up to watch TV. The news is on before the film.

"Before we start we would like to wish the co-victors of the 74th Annual Hunger Games a very happy 4th month of pregnancy! The voting is still open folks for you to guess the baby's sex! Everyone who guesses the right answer will get a free voucher for any store of their choice! So what will it be? A mini girl on fire? Or will the boy come out with freshly baked bread? Well folks, we have another 5 months to wait, but don't worry, we'll keep you well updated!"

I don't know whether that made me feel better or worse. I've never even met the guy telling the world about him. And then they try to guess whether it's a boy or girl! That is just downright stupid. As long as I have Peeta I should be fine. The phone interrupts my train of thought and I order Peeta to get it. I think it's someone for the Capitol. It must have been serious because he took the phone upstairs. He comes back down with a frown on his face and I immediately suspect the worst.

"Peeta, who was that? What's wrong?" He sits down next to me, intertwining our hand together.

"Katniss... they want me to go there. To the Capitol. They said it was important, something about extra treatment for my leg. They want me to do an interview Katniss. Kind of like a 'tell us everything about your life' type of show. I can't say no Katniss; this is about my health too."

"But, I can't travel from district to district because I'm pregnant." I whisper, barely audible.

"I know baby, I know."

"How long for?" I gulp.

"3 days." I burst into tears. He promised me he would never leave me, yet here he is, leaving me.

**A/N: Sorry if it's short. At the least I try to make chapters at least a thousand words long. Thats about a page or 2 on word. I want to say a personal thanks for the age thing on the last chapter. I was really nervous about the reaction. I'm quite young I guess and I just didn't want people to judge this story on my age rather then how good/bad it is. Also, I want to change the summary a little. Any helpers? Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Okay, don't kill me but at the end of this chapter, well things get intense! I forgot to reply to a guest review I got the chapter before last. It was something along the lines of "I know this is a guest review so you won't pay as much attention but I love this story'. For starters I want to say that I know when I have a review, when I have a pm, when I have a new story follow and/or favourite. I smile for days after reading them and they do motivate me. Last chapter no one advised my on my summary! I don't like it because it's a direct quote from Mokingjay and I don't think it sums up the story well.**

**This chapter isn't as long as the previous but it is above 1,000 words. I've been feeling every emotion under the sun lately, one of them being extreme tiredness. So blame my comfy bed:) Anyways I got what I wanted out and I promise to make future chapters longer if I can. But think about it, shorter chapters=quicker updates.**

**If you didn't read all of that I don't blame you but if you did, your amazing and I love you.**

**Enjoyyyy:)**

"I don't have to go Katniss."

He's been saying that ever since he told me an hour ago. We are still sat here on the sofa, me trying to figure out exactly what to say. Who am I to stop him from going? This is about his health and with a baby on the way we both need a lot of that because I will not be the one getting up in the middle of the night.

"Peeta, I'm not stopping you. You have to go, for her." I say, pointing towards my ever-growing belly. I put emphasis on the 'her' because I know Peeta secretly wants a girl. I knew talking about the baby would break him because his face immediately goes to the ground.

"Katniss…"

"No, Peeta! Okay, this is not up for discussion. You are going and that's the end of it! I'll be fine honey, I promise." His eyes go wide open and yet again I've lied to him and myself. I most certainly will not be fine.

Over the next few days I help him pack. He even takes one of my winter hats because he says it smells like my hair. Apples according to him. On the night before he leaves, as we're snuggling up in bed, he spends a half hour saying goodbye to our baby.

"I love you little one, I really do. But Daddy has to go away for a while, not for long. I will miss you so much baby girl. I'll miss your first little kicks of mommy's ribcage because mommy will most certainly get that scowl I love so much. It's hard to explain but her nose wrinkles up like a rabbit and I can't help but laugh every time she does. You'll see when you get here. I want to tell you one thing before I go to sleep. Whilst I'm gone you can't cause mommy too much trouble. She doesn't like it when I'm not here. I love you baby girl."

There are tears streaming down both of our faces when he's done. He kisses my belly button, then my lips and places a hand on our child. Our little boy I hope.

I awake in the morning to find Peeta's side of the bed cold. Then it dawns on me that he's gone but not forever at least. I spend a few more minutes in bed wishing his arms around me. I would stay longer but my mini Mellark is playing football on my bladder. I think he wants Peeta's voice.

"I want daddy too." I say, wrapping my arms around my belly. I meander downstairs but I don't like it without the smell of bacon. I don't like it without the smell of bread. Most of all I don't like it without the smell of Peeta, a mixture of cinnamon, sugar and mixed spice. Like autumn in a Peeta.

I set off to make my own breakfast. Eggs. I figure that I can make my own eggs without Peeta. Its just bread I can't do. Peeta's tried to teach me many times but in the end I just bailed and resorted to watching him. I talk myself through it, crack the egg, heat the oil and mix the eggs. I seem to be doing okay. That is when I hear Peeta's voice on the TV.

"Ahh, Peeta, welcome!"

"Hi Caesar! How are you?" They get on like a house on fire as always. His hands are fidgeting in his lap and I know he wishes mine were there, holding his. I do too.

"I'm doing well, I'm doing well. Now Peeta, I have a bone to pick with you! Is it true you and Katniss are expecting?" Caesar asked with a smile. I hope Peeta doesn't reveal too much about our personal life but I don't think he would anyway.

"Yes we are but it's very far away yet, to far if you ask me!" He says with a frown on his face. He really does want, and love this baby. A warm glow fills my body.

"That's lovely! Now Peeta, we all know you want it to be a girl!" He laughs.

"Seriously, I don't mind. As long as it's happy and healthy. Well I would like it to have the best features of Katniss. Her eyes, her hair, her personality." As he said each word his smile grew bigger and bigger.

"And a girl?" Caesar asks. Peeta blushes beet red and nods.

"And a girl." He whispers. A pain grows in my chest as I remember the last time I saw him on this stage. He was thin, tired and ill. But he still warned District 13. Saved them. Then I see blood everywhere and hear his screams. I shake the thought out of my mind as quickly as it came because I can smell burning. I run out of the chair and see them on fire. Seems like I can't cope on my own.

Suddenly I felt a horrific pain in my lower abdomen. It was my mini Mellark. The pain was stronger than I have ever felt before, even in the arena.

Peeta's voice was still in the background, getting quieter and quieter. Was I hallucinating? The last thing I hear is "I love Katniss and our mini Mellark." I fall to the floor and am plunged into darkness, the house threatening to burn down with me still inside.

**A/N: Now now, don't we all love a cliffhanger;), Next update will be around Friday next week. Sorry!**

**And if you didn't think it was good, pm me. I want to know why:) If you are amazing and did love it, then pm me and leave a review.:)**

**Please leave some ideas for summarys! They are greatly loved! I may even use yours;)**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: OMGGGGGGG! I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATING! Just to make up for it I made this chapter extra long. It's 1,659 words not including this note. Theres a full explaination of the delay at the end of this chapter. Sorry if it's crap. I did try. Big thanks goes out to thegirlonfire121 as always.**

**Enjoy:)**

Peeta's POV_  
_

"Well Peeta, we all love Katniss and your baby girl-or boy!"

"Not as much as me Caesar!" I joke. Honestly, the last place I'd rather be is here. I wrap up the interview quickly, desperate to call Katniss to see if she's okay. I dial the number and wait for her sweet voice to fill the end of the line.

No answer.

I ring another 3 times, but still no answer. I decide to ring the Abernathy's as I technically haven't fallen out with him.

"Haymitch, did you happen to see Katniss go out anywhere? She isn't answering the phone."

"Sorry kid, I haven't seen her anywhere."

"Oh." I sigh.

"I can't go to see her either I'm afraid. We're still, well, going through a rough patch."

"I understand. Thanks Haymitch."

I sigh and plop down in my dressing room backstage. I still have to stay over for one more night in hospital but if they think my leg is alright then I should be able to catch the next hovercraft home. I hear a knock on the door.

"Mister Mellark," he holds up a mobile phone, "a Doctor Aurelius? Says it's important."

"Oh, thanks." I sigh, taking the phone from his bony hands.

"Doctor? My appointments not until later is it?"

"Oh no Peeta, calm down. I was just wondering if you knew where Katniss was. I was going to talk to her about the baby. There's something important she should know. Something _very _important. It concerns them both."

"Sorry, she's not home; well at least I don't think she is. I should be talking to her later, can I pass the message onto her?"

"Well this is confidential Peeta, I shouldn't really be telling this to you at all but it is very serious. Katniss' body is not like any other woman's. She was injured to such an extent that it affected her not just physically but mentally. Stress, Peeta, stress can bring harm to the baby. No-one knows exactly why. But having to deal with new situations on her own, having extra things that can cause bad memories, bring back memories she associates with hurt or anger can make her go into premature labour. If this happens Peeta, I don't really know how to tell you this lightly, you could lose them both."

I'm silent for what seems like forever.

"Is-is-is there anything we can do to, um, reduce the risks?" I stutter nervously. Losing them is not an option. It never will be.

"Just keep her stress level to a minimum. The nightmares-well they won't help, but you can try to calm her down quicker, bring her heart rate down."

"Is there any chance that if anything did happen that she wouldn't go into premature labour?"

"A slim chance, _very slim_." I gulped and hoped I could get hold of Katniss. She would've just finished watching my interview and should be eating breakfast. All being well, I should be home by evening.

"I'll try to get a hold of her again and tell her. Thank you very much."

I get changed out of my suit and walk into the shower. I don't think I'll ever get used to the electric ones. After some time I manage to press the right buttons and wash my hair and stump. I call my driver to take me to the hospital. Doctor Aurelius quickly examines my leg and fits it with a new prosthetic. This Capitol is different. The doctors are brand new and there is a more relaxed atmosphere around. I'm quickly discharged and the whole horrid business only takes around 2 hours.

Perfect timing to get back to my wife.

I run to the train station and nearly knock over a few locals on the way. This new prosthetic should do wonders. I pay for my ticket and board the train. The ride to District 12 only takes a few hours as the new train goes directly to 12 and doesn't stop at any other districts. I half expect Katniss to be waiting at the train station for me but she doesn't know I'm here yet.

I don't run to our house as I want to save my energy for helping Katniss. I still feel incredibly guilty for leaving her, but I had no choice in the matter.

I get to our house in around 15 minutes and go to open the door. Locked. I grab my key from the bottom of the bag and quickly unlock the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" I grin. My nose shrivels up at the smell of burning. A slight sheet of black smoke fills the house.

"Katniss!" I panick. No answer. "Katniss!"

I run around to the kitchen to find a pan on fire and my wife on the floor.

"Oh my god." I freeze and go into panic mode. I pick her up bridal style and carry her out of the house into the square of the victor's village. I kick Haymitch's door down which brings him outside.

"Hospital." I gasp. "_Now._"

He runs in front of me, checking the roads for cars as we go because I'm to in shock to even concentrate. Katniss' eyes are relaxed and her long eyelashes are fluttering in the strong wind. Her hair is in its usual braid and comes down her shoulder to her hips. I follow it down until I see her ever-growing bump and remember what Doctor Aurelius said. I gulp and snap out of my daydream to see Haymitch screaming at a nurse.

I'm too scared to care.

We're soon in our own private room and I'm forced to put Katniss down and leave the room so the doctor can investigate. Reluctantly I get dragged out of the room by Haymitch as I watch people poke and prod at her.

I burst out crying as soon as we leave the room. Haymitch leads me to the set of waiting room chairs and puts a reassuring arm around my shoulder as I weep.

"She's a fighter. She'll be fine lad."

"How do you know?" I snap. "You don't have a wife who's barely alive and a child that could be dead because of me do you?!"

"This is not your fault do you rea-"

"This is not my fault? Is that what you just said? Well, shall I tell you something I bet you won't have the answer to? Katniss' stress aggravates the baby. Too much of it, well I'm sure you'll figure it out in time. If I hadn't gone to the Capitol, if I hadn't have left her alone to fend for herself whilst I'm off living the high life in some fancy Capitol hotel maybe we wouldn't be here right now."

"Is that what you think? That she really would blame you for this? Katniss wanted you to go for you. You spend too much time worrying about her and that baby, so why wouldn't she want you to go? She's too independent for her own good. Doesn't like anyone's help or pity. So why don't you stop and think about her and what she would want. She wouldn't want you crying out here worrying about her. She would want you to go and pack her a bag and be baking her some cheese buns to sneak in. You should know your wife." He smiles, removing his arm from around me.

"What if we lose the baby Haymitch?" I ask, tears threatening to spill over my cheeks. He sighs.

"Then you'll get through it, like you do everything. I'm not saying it would be easy, far from it, but you'll survive. Now stop being all doom and gloom and go and see how that wife of yours is doing!"

"Thanks Haymitch."

I walk to the reception desk and ask for news on Katniss Mellark. She comes back a few minutes later with Katniss' head nurse. Haymitch joins my side.

"Hello Peeta, I'm Doctor Reeves and I'll be looking after Katniss during her stay. I'm sure you're wondering how they're both doing, hm?"

I nod furiously.

"Well I'm sure you'll be glad to hear mother and baby are doing fine. However, Katniss breathed in a lot of smoke. When she does eventually wake up she may have quite a bad cough and be a little bit confused. There was no memory loss but she may have to be reminded where she is and what day it is. Nothing serious. She's on oxygen at the moment but once she wakes up and her breathing becomes more regular, we'll remove it. There's no serious harm to the baby but we would like Katniss to come in every 2 weeks to check up on her and baby. You can go and see her but if she does wake up, please alert one of the nurses."

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much Doctor… Reeves. You really have no idea how much I appreciate it."

She laughs. "Just doing my job Mister Mellark. Oh, and by the way, I set up a blow-up bed in the hospital room. We want to keep Katniss in at least overnight to assess her."

"Oh okay. Thanks again Doctor." I shake her hand and grin at Haymitch. He pats me on the back and gives me a gentle push into Katniss' room.

She's lying on her back with the sheets just above her neck. I smile at the sight . I see the blow up bed just beside hers and dinner for 2 on the hospital tray. I make a mental note to thank doctor Reeves.

I eat one half of the dinner as I expect Katniss to be up soon and I don't want her to go hungry just because of my appetite. I ignore the blow up bed and lay down beside her, cradling my hands around her waist. I fall asleep, dreaming of the feeling of her lips on mine.

**A/N: I hope you all don't mind about Peeta's POV. I didn't really have a choice. Also, I have a new summary by _Ms. K216 _so big thanks go out to her. Please check out her story for me! **

**So if you wanna know the reason for the delay, carry on reading. If not then dont forget to review! I worked hard on this chapter, people!**

**Okay so basically I started writing this chapter last Friday with every intention of updating then. So then my brother decides to use my iPad, which is where I write rough ideas and paragraphs for chapters etc. so I had to wait for like a half hour for him to order some new vans because apparently it's essential to spend over £50 on shoes. Anyway after I got it back I spent about an hour actually writing out the rough plan for the next few chapters and looking up baby names and stuff. So I go to turn on my laptop and find out the batterys gone, so I had to order one from eBay which took about 3-4 days to come. So I put the new battery in my laptop to find that the charger doesn't work and had to order a charger from eBay which brings us to the present day. I'm supposed to be doing my music homework right now so consider yourselves lucky I rate you higher then reviewing folk music.**

**Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hi! I decided to update early because my email was full of reviews yesterday, not just on this chapter but earlier chapters which I consider to...not be my best work. I do switch POV's in this chapter because a lot of people considered it to be good which I can only thank you for. I would just like to let you know Katniss is about 6-7 months pregnant in this chapter. Sorry if that wasn't clear. Also, many of my reviews were guest reviews so I say to them 'MAKE A PROPER ACCOUNT SO I CAN THANK YOU PROPERLY!" Thanks for your support. Hope this chapter is up to scratch because I'm half asleep as I write this. I wouldn't expect an update anytime soon. I'm going out in the snow because my school is still closed:D**

**Enjoy:)**

_Peeta's POV_

I wake up many times in the night, sweat dripping down my face. Images of Katniss being killed, being tortured in front of me fill my mind and it took a few hours to calm me down. She stayed awake all night and didn't stir at all. I clung onto her hand and watched her sleep, her 6 month pregnant belly still growing over the sheets.

A round the clock doctor checks in on us a few times in the night and I'm sure she takes pity because she makes me a drink every time she pops her head around the door. Early morning comes too quickly for my liking but it doesn't matter because Katniss still hasn't woken. I go out into the waiting area where Haymitch seems to have fallen asleep on the chairs, drool trickling out of his mouth onto a puddle on the floor.

I shake him awake and he startles but calms down quickly.

"You stayed here all night?" I ask, trying to avoid the puddle of Haymitch's drool.

"Yeah, I thought that I should be here, in case you, uh, needed someone to talk to I guess." He rubs the back of his neck with his hand nervously. "She awake?"

"Um, no. Doctor said she should be in a few hours. There's nothing stopping her waking up, she will in her own time."

"Oh…coffee?"

"No thanks, my bladders so full I don't think I can swallow my own spit without wetting myself."

He chuckles. He sits up and I take a seat on the chair opposite. As daylight comes and the hospital fills up, Doctor Reeves goes and checks up on Katniss.

"I'm sorry Peeta, she's still not awake. Maybe you should go home, freshen up a bit and we'll call you if there's any news."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here. I don't really want to leave her alone."

I go and sit by her bedside for a while after that, my eyes drooping, me refusing to give in to fatigue.

"Peeta?"

My head shoots bolt upright from its position on the edge of the bed and Katniss' sharp grey eyes meet mine.

"You're awake!" I yell. I embrace her in a tight hug and I don't ever want to let go. I wouldn't of, if she didn't start coughing as soon as I did.

"Sorry Kat." I give her an apologetic look.

"I'm the one who should be apologising. I almost set fire to the house and I ruined your best frying ban!"

"Katniss, I'm a lot more concerned about you and our unborn child then one of my pans. And besides, if our house did get ruined we could get a brand new house!" I say.

"But I really wanted to show you I could do things on my own rather then have to have my husband do everything for me."

"Hey!" I nudge her lightly. "That's my job to take care of you, you can't fire me!"

_Katniss POV_

I have a banging headache and really want to fall back to sleep but I feel incredibly guilty. I almost ruined our house, I could have died and my baby could've died. Of course I don't tell Peeta this. He's trying to make me feel better and it's working, but only to an extent.

He goes and gets a nurse to check on me. She checks my lungs and my head for any damage. She says if I can walk around the ward a bit today that I can be discharged.

Peeta sits with me the whole day, never leaving my side once.

"So how were you on your own?"

"Well, apart from the obvious, a mess. I finally realized how much of a disaster my life would be if I'd never met you. So don't ever leave me, my heart likes you. And my stomach likes your cooking, it doesn't like mine." I laugh.

"Well that's good because my heart like you too. And you're stuck with me. Rights of the husband."

He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple.

"And I love you very, very much. Another right of the husband."

I go to reply until I'm interrupted by Haymitch. Great. I tighten my grip on Peeta's hand and he gives my hand a squeeze. It's like our secret code. I don't want him here and Peeta will support me.

"Um, hi Katniss. I w-was just wondering if you, uh, were going to be discharged soon."

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. And, not that it's any of your business but I should be discharged today." I snap.

"I would really like it if we went back to the way we were before. I really didn't mean to say anything, and I know that's no excuse but I'm begging you here. I don't think I can stand you two not talking to me. I really want to be a good Grandpa. Hell, I've given up drinking just so I can see that baby grow up."

"Katniss, maybe you should think about this." Peeta says. I know he's right. And I hate him for it.

"I appreciate that Haymitch I really do, but you told nearly the whole of Panem about something I probably would've kept a secret till around about now. I know you didn't mean to and I guess I should be apologising for how nasty I've been."

His face lights up at my speech and he runs over and hugs us.

"I am sorry Katniss, I really am."

"He stayed here all night Katniss. He fell asleep in the waiting room." My eyes soften.

"You did?" He just nods.

"Thank you. Maybe you could walk me home with Peeta?"

"I'd like that."

He leaves the room and a nurse enters to watch me walk. Peeta's hesitant not to help me but I think he realizes I have to do this to get home to him. I walk around the ward for a little while whilst a nurse writes some notes on a clipboard. She leads me back to my room where Peeta is packing my bag.

"Alright Katniss. You seem to be doing well. You still have a minor cough but that should be gone by tomorrow. You're free to go."

Me and Peeta thank the nurse for all her help. All I have to do is sign some papers and I'm out. Peeta helps me out of the hospital whilst Haymitch grabs onto my bags. Its only a short walk to the Victors Village so we make it there in about 10 minutes.

"Thanks Haymitch." I hug him at our door and he seems taken aback.

"Anytime sweetheart." He gives Peeta a pat on the back and goes to his house. Peeta holds the small of my back and carrys my bag. He leaves it in the hall and we both snuggle up in the sofa. There isn't any damage to the house or anything so someone must have cleaned it up.

"I love you Mr Mellark."

"And I love you Mrs Mellark, more then you will ever know." He kisses my forehead as we drift off into a dreamless sleep.

**A/N: Hoped you liked it, please review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I sincerely apologise for not updating in almost 2 weeks. There's a full explanation at the bottom.**

"So what happens, you know, when the baby comes?"

"Well Katniss, you have a choice. You can have the baby here at hospital or at home. Both options are pretty safe and if you choose to have a home birth then I'll be there once I get the phone call. In your circumstances it may be safer to come into hospital."

I had an appointment with Doctor Reeves about what to do when the baby finally comes. Me and Peeta haven't even bought any clothes or decorated the spare room in the house. The baby should be arriving in 2 months but I'm yet to know my due date.

"Do I have to decide now?" I ask.

"Not right this second. However I would like you to make it before you leave the hospital today."

I take a glance at Peeta and know exactly what he wants me to do. I can't speak with him now as I have my first ultrasound. It was common in the Seam that a woman didn't have any ultrasounds but Peeta asked for one especially, and apparently so have a lot of people, and they got one in from the Capitol.

I'm taken into a room with a bed in the middle and a square monitor next to it. The room is dimly lit and I stumble over to the bed. Doctor Reeves lifts up my t-shirt and feels my belly to check he's facing the right way. She gets a circular object in her hand and turns on the monitor. As cold gel comes onto my belly. I wince and close my eyes. But it isn't long until I hear the _'bum bum bum bum' _of my baby's heart. I grab on to Peeta's hand and feel his wet tears fall onto it. I open my eyes and turn my head an inch. There's a black background on the monitor and a grey outline of a head, body and legs. I soon feel tears on my cheeks too.

"Can you tell us if it's a boy or a girl?" I sniff.

"Of course."

She moves around the circular object and zooms in on the monitor.

"Would you like to know?"

I've never been one for surprises and so I'm eager to know as I think I'll be in too much pain to notice when he's born.

"Peeta?" I ask.

"Whatever you want. It'll help us pick out a colour for the room." He smiles.

"But if you were carrying the baby would you like to know?"

"No. But I'm not you Katniss."

"Then I don't want to know. Thank you anyway doctor."

She clicks a few buttons and rolls the stick around my tummy as Peeta kisses the top of my forehead in thanks. I know he didn't really want to know. He likes surprises.

"I'm just going to get your pictures and DVD of your ultrasound. Just rub your belly with that paper towel to get the gel off and I'll see you in the waiting room."

"Oh, thank you."

Peeta silently rubs the gel off of my belly and helps me up.

"Do you want me to have a home birth?"

"Not really…I just think hospitals are safer."

"Oh."

We make our way to the waiting room where Doctor Reeves patiently waits. She hands Peeta the DVD and ultrasound pictures. There's a big bundle, more then you should really have. I raise my eyebrow at her but she just winks in reply.

"When's my due date again?"

"The sixth of September." She smiles.

I hug her in thanks and Peeta does the same.

"You won't have to come back for anymore scans but, have you decided where you are having your birth?"

"Here. I hate hospitals but if it's safer for the baby then I want to do it."

"I'll get you your own private room Katniss, if that would make you more comfortable."

"Thank you."

We leave the hospital hand in hand and make our way to town where we are going to get furniture and paint for the baby's room.

We enter the shop and Peeta goes to pick up pink wall paint.

"No! You need this colour!" I pick up blue paint and Peeta just laughs.

"You know, our baby girl is going to hate you when she finds out you painted her room blue."

"Nope, our baby boy is going to love me."

"Well I'm getting pink!"

"Fine, but don't blame me when you have to fork out to come get blue paint." I laugh.

He just gives me a sweet kiss on the lips and pays for the paint. We take a slow walk home and Peeta makes me some lunch whilst he goes upstairs to paint. I'm not allowed to see the nursery until its finished so I switch on the TV.

"_So what can you tell us about the Mellarks, Sam?_"

"_Well Paul, as we all know they played a very important roll in the Hunger Games. Katniss' sister, Primrose Everdeen, was reaped aged just 12. Katniss, unable to watch her sister fight to the death, volunteered in her place, a first for District 12. After Peeta was reaped we saw them in that amazing chariot parade where they looked as if they were on fire, a fantastic creation by Cinna. Then we see Peeta get a training score of eight and Katniss an incredible 11, again another first. After them both killing their fair share of tributes, we saw the rule change when Katniss ran all over the arena looking for her love. They found shelter in a cave where Peeta told her stories about how much he had always loved her and Katniss seemed to feel the same way. After fighting to get medicine, killing mutts and taking refuge of the cornucopia, Peeta and Katniss won the 74__th__ Annual Hunger Games_."

"_Thank you Paul. The second part of the 3 stories about the Mellarks will be seen tomorrow so tune in! Until next time_!"

I am frozen in shock. Why on earth would they make a TV show about us? It doesn't even make sense. I could understand if there was still Hunger Games but there isn't and there never will be. It wasn't even a good summary of that life.

"Katniss! The nursery's ready!"

I turn off the TV and make my way upstairs. A paint drenched Peeta greets me at the top of the stairs and covers both my eyes with his hands. I feel him lead us into the room which smells heavily of paint. I open my eyes. There's a cot in the middle of the room and two rocking chairs either side of it. I give Peeta a questioning look.

"There's two because whenever you wake up in the night I'll be right there beside you. You're not doing this on your own."

I give him a long kiss and he tries, as best as he can, to wrap his arms around my waist. He can't.

There's a nappy changing station on the other side of the room and toys scattered neatly around the floor. There's a mini wardrobe near the wall. But Peeta's saved the best surprise till last. He closes the door which is blocking my view and I gasp. Peeta has painted a picture on the wall. He has all the nursery rhyme characters from stories that were told at school but there are all in the forest, by the lake where my Dad used to take me.

"Oh Peeta.."

"I want her to grow up with it as a happy place. Maybe somewhere we could take her every weekend or something."

"I love it. Thank you."

"Come on, let's go have some dinner."

**A/N: I know nothing really important happened in this chapter but I have been really ill and I haven't really had the motivation to write anymore. Not a great excuse but I promise to update at least once a week from now on. I am really sorry but thank you for all the nice reviews on the last chapter and please keep them coming!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/: Ah, I have a few things to tell you, so bare with me.**

**1)-I haven't had chance to reply to any reviews last chapter because I've been off school all week with the flu, so sorry. I did notice them and replies will be at the end of this chapter.**

**2)-This chapter is in Peeta's POV because I really like writing in his POV so I hope you don't mind.**

**3)- I really hope you like this chapter and your not dissapointed in it because to be quite honest I don't like it and wish I could've made such a milestone chapter better, but it is what it is.**

**4)-Katniss is about 7.5 months pregnant, okay?**

**Enjoy:)**

I love pregnant Katniss. There are times when I look over at my wife, when I'm baking or just having a cup of tea, and am memorized for what seems like hours. When she notices me she blushes a deep scarlet. I wouldn't expect any less.

We really should have been more prepared for the birth, me especially. The baby could come any day now and, especially after what Doctor Aurelius told me, I've had a bag packed for weeks. I'm on edge to say the least. If Katniss had her own way she would be out hunting every day until her waters broke so I have good reason.

I've restricted her daily activities. I don't let her lift a finger, something she absolutely hates. It's been a few weeks since the scan, one of the best days of my life. Apart from marrying Katniss of course. I'm snapped out of my daydream when she calls me from upstairs.

"Peeta! Can you come here, _now_!"

I tread my way carefully up the stairs and into the nursery, where her voice is coming from. I almost laugh at the sight. She is surrounded by diapers and a baby doll in her lap, obviously practicing. But that's not what I'm worried about.

She's also surrounded by water.

It's all around her ankles and she has a terrified look plastered on her face.

"Tell me what to do!" she crys.

I spring into action. I grab the bag from the corner of the nursery and put it in our bedroom. I carry Katniss into there bridal style and lay towels on the bed. I place a kiss on her forehead and run downstairs. I have to dial the hospital number at least three times my hands are so shaky.

"H-hello? Yes, I'm fine thank you...I'm ringing for a Doctor Reeves, I-is she there?...is it possible to have a home birth?...Yes, but I think my wife would be more comfortable …Okay, thank you."

I run back upstairs and see Katniss lying on the bed, gritting her teeth in pain.

"When are they coming Peeta?" She asks, grasping my hand for comfort.

"Katniss, I tried for you honey, I really did but we're going in."

She bursts into tears. I know how important a home birth was to her and she really did want one because she hates hospitals. She only chose the hospital because she wanted the baby to be safe. She told me once a long time ago, before we were married, but I still have the memory etched in my head.

"_I just don't understand why you don't like them so much Katniss."_

"_I just-I don't want to talk about it okay? Can't we just leave it at 'Katniss doesn't like hospitals and Peeta doesn't know why'?"_

"_No, we can't. Please tell me Katniss, I can help."_

"_Fine. I've never liked hospitals. When I was a kid, I never went to the hospital for anything. There still was one of course, not as advanced as the one we have today but I had my mother for any injuries I had so I never had use for it. The first time I walked past it there were screaming children outside and crying men. I vowed to myself I would never go into a hospital and neither would Prim. After all the games and all the pain and suffering I saw and experienced, I still hate going in them. So I just avoid them."_

"Come on Katniss, we need to go to the hospital. I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry." I sling the emergency bag over my shoulder and lay her in my arms, her arms clinging my neck. It's only a short walk to the hospital but I'm not risking anything. Not when I get to meet my baby girl. I climb into the van we use for bakery deliveries and plonk Katniss in the seat next to me. She grits her teeth when another contraction comes.

"Peeta!" She screams, "will you please hurry up. This is bad as it is, just move!"

Okay, so I like pregnant Katniss a little less.

She screams the whole 5 minute drive, so much so I almost crash the car in shock. I pick her up when we arrive. She claws my neck in pain and I rush her into the hospital. The nurse seems to expect us and opens the door into our own private delivery room. Doctor Reeves is in the room, setting everything up. There's a changing table in one corner a plastic cot at the end of the bed. I'm not sure what it's called. There's also an ultrasound machine among other things but I'm snapped out of my daydream by Doctor Reeves.

"Ah, hello Peeta, Katniss. I suppose baby's decided to make an early visit, hm?"

"Is it anything to be concerned about?" I ask, as Doctor Reeves puts needles in Katniss' hand and tucks her in bed.

"No, not at all. I expect he or she is just very excited to see us. I will be here the whole time though, as a precautionary measure. I've just got back from a home birth so I'm all warmed up!" She jokes.

"How far apart are contractions?"

"Every 21 minutes." Katniss says. If I'm honest, I'm surprised at myself. I'm the one that's supposed to be the one that does the technical things. Instead I've been more worried about Katniss. Well, she is my wife.

"Well, they'll only get faster as the baby comes I'm afraid."

It seems like we wait a lifetime for the baby to come. Doctor Reeves tells me I can't do much, neither can she. We take it in turns walking around the room with Katniss, stopping and letting her squeeze your hand when the contractions came, whispering soothing words in her ear or in my case, kisses. And lots of them.

The contractions come closer together and we have to lay Katniss on the bed again. Doctor Reeves fully takes over as delivering a baby is not something I'm experienced in. I just sit near Katniss' head and stroke the hair off her forehead.

"Okay Katniss, this is the hard part. You're going to have to push. Hard."

"Peeta, hold my hand!" She growls.

Its easy for me to sympathize with her, she is giving birth to my child. I think shes more scared then I first realised.

The last part is a blur to me. I hear a lot of screaming coming from Katniss. At one point she squeezes my hand so hard I'm sure I'll have to go to a different ward to get it checked out. After about 20 minutes of screaming and hand crushing, Doctor Reeves gets my attention.

"Peeta, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Um, please?"

I hadn't really given the cord much thought. I've always thought it was symbolic for the father to do it though. Katniss has a bond, a connection with this baby that I'll never have. She carried it for nine months, gave it food, cared for it, whilst I just sat back and watched. Now I can finally do all those things. Now it's not a part of Katniss but both of us.

I come over to Doctor Reeves. There's a metal type of thing toward the top of the cord and some scissors in place. All I have to do is clip. So I do.

Doctor Reeves takes the baby, wraps it up in a blanket and brings it over to me.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"See for yourself." She smiles. "Well done Katniss." She gives me a nod and leaves the room.

I do as she said and peek underneath the blanket.

I smile and look up at my child.

There I am staring into the face of my baby girl.

**A/N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Hope it lived up to those high expectations of yours:)**

**I'll update probably every Friday from now on so updates will be more regular.**

**Now here's the reply to the reviews! Sorry if I just call you guest but you were a guest so, yeah.**

**HGFan4719- ****Thank you! Here's the update you were hoping for!**

**Ms.K216- ****I'm very much motivated now! I don't want to jinx it but school has calmed down a bit now so I should have a more regular updating pattern. And it looks like you finally found out:)**

**Grace(Guest)- ****I doubt it's the best ever but thank you so much! I'm litterally dancing in front of my computer right now. I understand some people can't make accounts for whatever reason but please keep commenting as 'Grace' so I know it's you!**

**Philippa(Guest)- ****Fourth book material. Woah. I love you.**

**Guest- ****Don't worry! I don't plan to end this fanfiction anytime soon, however long it takes me to update!**

**Raychel Hammond(Guest)- ****I will! Don't worry!**

**Thank you all for reviewing! Please keep it coming!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Okay, bit of a late update but I am hoping to update every other day this week because I have a week off school. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, well at least the last part anyway. Just to let you know I am not a doctor and I have no idea how long Katniss should've been left in the hospital, but let's pretend I'm right.**

**Enjoy:)**

They say that childbirth is the worst pain a woman can go through.

I sincerely disagree.

The worst part, for me, the part when I feel the most pain is when my baby daughter isn't in my arms. I've been in hospital for 3 days and it is unbearable. I have regular visitors if you count Peeta never leaving my side as regular. He helps me look after the baby in the day and on the night we have long discussions about names that never seem to go anywhere.

"_Do you want to name her after a plant? Like you and…Prim?"_

"_No. This baby is growing up into a different world. It should have a different name. I want it to be unique though."_

"_Ruth?"_

"_Too…old. I like Katie. How about Katie?"_

"_Too… I don't know. She just doesn't look like a Katie."_

These 'arguments' would go on for hours on end, both of us suggesting a name that we like and the other disagreeing. I would rather the baby have a name we both like, rather than just name her in a rush because everyone wants us too.

"Ah, Katniss! You're looking well today." I sit up in bed.

"Doctor, you have children, right!" she chuckles.

"Yes, I do. Why?"

"Was it this hard for you to name them!?" I ask and I swear I hear her chuckle.

"My experience as a mother is irrelevant, okay? All you need to focus on is your beautiful girl. A name will come to you Katniss, all in due time."

I sigh. How can I name a baby? When I was little I used to know all the names of any plant you threw at me, but they were already named. I always thought Peeta would be able to help the name side of everything, but it seems not.

"Can we go home yet?" I say, as I scoop her out of the basket the hospital provided.

"Well, you both seem to be doing well and there are no complications that I can see. I'll just go and fill in some paperwork and you should be out in the next few hours."

"Could you ring Peeta? I had to force him to go home to take a shower and he probably fell asleep."

"Of course."

I cradle my daughter in my arms. I'm already used to her weight in my arms and it doesn't feel right when she isn't there. I just sit in bed for a while and just look at her. She hasn't even opened her eyes yet but I hope their blue. She already has little wisps of brown hair growing, much to my disappointment.

"She has beautiful hair doesn't she, just like her mum." I look up to see Peeta leaning against the doorway.

"How long have you been stood there?"

"Not long." He walks over and gives us both a kiss on the forehead. He scoops her up out of my arms whilst I pack the few items he bought from home to make me more comfortable.

"Do you want to open your eyes for daddy? Yes you do, yes you do!" He talks to her in such a silly voice I can't help but laugh.

"What! We both want her to open her eyes."

"Yes, but only if their blue."

"Nope, they have to be grey." I roll my eyes. I'm pretty sure we can go now and even if we can't I'm still leaving. I hate hospitals and the staff knows it.

The actual labour was a blur. I was just putting away all the baby clothes and sorting everything out for her arrival when I felt a whoosh of pain and water beneath my feet. The rest was Peeta really. He was amazing.

We walk out of the hospital, me with the baby and Peeta with all my bags. It only takes a few minutes to walk back home and nobody disturbs us, much to my surprise. Peeta puts down my bags in the living room and leads us all upstairs.

He opens the door to the nursery which he seems to have tided when he came back earlier. In the middle of the room stand Effie and Haymitch holding a large banner between them that says:

'WELCOME TO THE WORLD MINI MELLARK!'

Haymitch looks like he hasn't slept in about a month, but that'll be the lack of alcohol in his bloodstream. Effie looks like, well, Effie. She still has the big wigs and extravagant makeup but she's not so uptight anymore and finally seems happy.

"Let me have a look at her Katniss! Do you have a name?" I look at Peeta and he just shrugs but he does look a little on edge.

"Um, no." I say, clutching my baby a little tighter in my arms. "We're still thinking about that. Thank you for doing this, it was really nice of you."

"Can I hold her?"

"Of course, but be careful she's just fallen asleep."

Effie gently prises her from my arms and as soon as she's gone Peeta places a hand around my waist and a kiss on my forehead. Haymitch and Effie stay for a while after that. Me and Haymitch chat like nothing ever happened between us and Effie looks like she never wants to let go of my baby girl.

They leave after about 2 hours but not without Effie demanding she and Haymitch get to babysit at least once a month.

"I hope she looks like you." Peeta says, gazing at our daughter like she's the best thing she's ever seen.

"Why? I would much rather her look like her daddy."

"No, she needs to be beautiful like her mommy. Then she could get away with anything. And she would have long brown hair and I could run my fingers through it when she goes to sleep, just like I do with you."

"But if she was so beautiful then she would have every boy in this neighbourhood after her when she starts school." He sighs.

"I'm going to have to get a baseball bat." I laugh and playfully slap his arm.

I leave Peeta to make dinner and go up to give my daughter hers. I cradle her in my arms and admire the nursery. Peeta really has done a great job. I take a seat on one of the two rocking chairs and unbutton my shirt so she can feed.

"You know you shouldn't even be here yet?" I tell her, "You gave me quite a shock but I'm glad you're here now. Did you know your daddy saved my life, to many times to count? I thought I would never be able to repay him for all the things he's done for me." I gently rock her in my arms.

"But now, I think you've done that for me. You're all he's ever wanted. You're like my gift to him."

And I think it is. I think having a child has opened my mind. When Peeta simply looks at our daughter I see his eyes light up, something I never had the power to do on my own.

"I really just wanted you in return. She is a wonderful bonus, but I couldn't have had her without you." I snap my head up and find Peeta leaning against the doorway. His arms crossed over his chest.

"How long have you been there?" I ask. He smiles for a second.

"You were too deep in thought to hear me come upstairs to tell you dinner's ready." Peeta says. And it's true. She's fallen asleep again and I didn't even know.

He smiles again and walks over to me and carefully takes our baby girl from my arms. He lays her in her crib and then strides back over and crouches in front of me.

"I love you." he says, leaning in for a kiss. A kiss we haven't shared in days.

"I love you, too." I say. Breaking away and intertwining my fingers with his on the arms rest of the chair.

"I think I have a name." I say, nervously.

"That's good. What is it?"

I clutch his hand tighter and he waits patiently.

"Bella Mellark."

"Bella." He lingers for a moment, as if thinking whether it's an appropriate name. "I like it." His face breaks out in a grin so large I think his face might split in half. "Let's see if she does." He walks back over to the crib and takes Bella in his arms. She nuzzles her head into the inside crease of his elbow and scrunches up her nose, lost in a sleep full of dreams.

"Hey there Bella." He whispers, barely audible. "Do you like that name?" He strokes just underneath her chin, making her lean towards him even more, as if nodding.

"I think she likes it." He says, turning towards me. "Let's go downstairs."

"No, let's go to bed, I'm tired. We can take Bella." I yawn.

He leads the way down to our bedroom. I curl myself in on the left side, Peeta on the right, Bella in the middle. Peeta stretches his arm above her head and I do the same, our hands intertwining.

And its then I start to think. I start to think why I denied Peeta this for so long. Why I denied him the chance of a marriage, a family for so long. Why I denied _myself _of this complete and utter joy that Bella has bought into both of our lives, even if she is only 3 days old. I start to wonder why I never wanted this as we all drift off into a dreamless sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: I really struggled with today's chapter so I hope it's okay.**

**Enjoy:)**

Bella was a happy baby. She was always quiet in the night which allowed Peeta to be up early for work without a problem, but occasionally she would get hungry in the night, causing me to have to wake. That's when I wish Peeta had boobs.

True to her word, Effie comes around often to look after her, meaning me and Peeta have time alone one evening a week. That time is usually spent with me sleeping as I'm up most of the night watching Bella as well. It's not that she wakes in the night, because she doesn't, it's that I'm too scared that something is going to happen to her in the night. My mother used to tend to a lot of baby's that had died in their sleep and I'm determined to not let that happen. Stupid, I know.

Peeta hasn't stopped gushing about being a new father to the customers at the bakery. Me and Bella went round there once, partly because I was missing Peeta and partly because I knew Bella did to. We went just after breakfast and we came home with Peeta late in the evening because everyone was crowding round to get a glimpse of Bella. It seems they knew everything about her so Peeta must talk about her all the time.

After spending nearly every hour of the day with Bella I begin to learn new things about her. She has inherited everything from me, her looks, her undying love for Peeta, her personality, her laugh and her downright stubbornness.

One morning, when Peeta was long gone for work, I was dressing her ready to take a walk in the meadow.

"Come on Bella, will you put your socks on for mommy?"

I roll up the sock and put it round her toes when she kicks me right in the cheekbone.

"No Bella!"

She still try's to wriggle her way out of them but every time I just slip them back on. I never did end up taking her.

It was well worth telling Peeta yes just to watch him love her. I'm certain Peeta is the best father in the history of fathers, although I may be biased.

The first time she lifted her head up; it was because of Peeta, even though I'd been trying for weeks.

"Come on Bella, do you want to see daddy's cake? It's orange. Do you like orange?"

She giggled and slowly lifted her head up to see his creation.

"Well done Bella!" He ran up to her and took her in his arms, blowing raspberries on her stomach, something she finds hilarious.

That was at 2 months old.

At 4 months she started making noises. I think it was Effie who discovered it first and was more than happy to tell us.

"Well I was feeding her but she wouldn't take it so I said 'do it for Daddy Bella' and she replied 'DAAA'. I know it's not much but it's something Katniss!"

"No, no, this is great! I mean she could say daddy soon! Peeta would be so happy."

"He really would! Now I have to go otherwise Haymitch might even begin to miss me!" She laughs.

"Well thanks for looking after her anyway."

"Oh! Not at all! She's a pleasure!"

I'm hoping her first word will come any day now. I don't hunt anymore but I don't miss it too much. I spend my days looking after Bella and to be perfectly honest, there's nothing I'd rather do. She loves Peeta unconditionally anybody can see that. Whenever she hears his voice her grey eyes open wide and whenever she sees mine she smiles. Peeta's become attached in the 6 months we've had her and I can tell he never wants to leave for work. Technically he doesn't have to. As he owns the bakery he gets all the money it earns, which is a lot. If you subtract the wages paid to the workers and the price of the ingredients it's a lot more than enough to live on. We still get the money the victors get every month, even if it is a totally new Capitol.

I wake up to Bella's screams which is unusual. It's so early in the morning that Peeta hasn't even left for work. I climb out of bed and go to her crib in her room. I take her in my arms and into the nursery to change and nurse her.

"Hey, sushsushsush. Mommy's here, I'm right here. Do you want to stop crying so Daddy can get some sleep?

She stops wailing immediately so I hold her so that her head is on my shoulder and she nuzzles into my neck.

"DAAA"

"Sush Bella! Come on shall we get you cleaned up?"

She nods. In recent weeks I've noticed her trying to get the words out. I know that she knows what they mean, like for yes you move your head up and down and no side to side, she just can't say it.

"Alright then."

I lay her on the changing, unbutton her baby grow and change her diaper.

"All better, huh?"

She shakes her head.

"Well then you must be hungry!" I unbutton my shirt to nurse and make a mental note to myself to express some later for when Effie comes and babysits.

She falls asleep on my chest so I put her back down in her crib and watch her sleep for a while. I'm about to go back to bed when I feel Peeta's hand slither around my waist as he rests his head on my shoulder.

"You're such a good mother. And we make beautiful children" He smirks, whilst kissing my neck. "We should go back to bed and make some more." I laugh.

"You try pushing a desk from your vagina and I'll consider it!"

"So that's a no?" He wriggles his eyebrows.

"Yes, that's a no, for a _very_ long time! Anyway, you have to go to work."

"No, I'm having the day off, to spend with my beautiful family!"

"Good. You can spend it with your screaming child!"

"So she's not yours anymore?"

"Hm, not when she's screaming the place down." I joke. "Now go make your wife breakfast. Your daughters had hers."

"Don't I get a kiss first?"

"Um…"

He flips me around so I'm facing him and kisses me full on the lips. We stay there for around five minutes, probably longer but Bella started crying. He gently lets go of me and picks Bella up.

"Was I not paying you enough attention? Sorry, but I really like your mommy's lips. There soft and taste like cherry-"

"I'm going to go make some breakfast."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you to."

I go downstairs and make us both some pancakes but end up eating mine before Peeta comes downstairs.

"Why are you down so late?" I ask a mouthful of pancake.

"Um, p-phonecall."

"You okay?"

"Fine."

He eats his pancake in silence and doesn't even compliment me on the fact I added chocolate chips.

"So what are we doing for our date tonight?"

"D-date."

"Well, yeah. Effie's coming over to look after Bella, like she always does."

"Oh."

"Peeta, are you sure you're feeling okay? We can do it next week if you'd rather. I can easily ring Effie and-"

"No, don't do that. I'm just- it doesn't matter. We'll have a picnic in the woods, okay?"

"Sure." I smile.

He doesn't ease up throughout the day, quite the opposite in fact. He plays with Bella and then goes upstairs, leaving me to ease her crying state. He comes downstairs with his jacket and trainers on.

"Peeta, where are you going?"

"For a run."

"I thought you were going to spend the day with us."

"Look Katniss, I will I just need to go and pick some stuff up for our date and I was going to go to the baby store and get Bella some new clothes and I may as well do it whilst running!"

"Fine. Just don't be too long, okay?"

He wasn't. We spent the rest of the day together, both of us admiring Bella, her still trying to speak to no avail.

"Hello, hello, hello! It's only me! Where's Bella!" Effie yells from the porch.

"We're in the living room!"

"Ah! Right off you go!"

"Anyone would think you're trying to get rid of us Effie."

"Then they'd be right! Now go!"

I laugh as Peeta takes my hand, grabs the picnic basket and leads us to the fence. From there he makes me lead the way until we get to the lake. He lays out a blanket whilst I unpack the food. He sits down and I lay my head in his lap stroking my hair and feeding me simultaneously.

"Do you want the last chocolate covered strawberry?"

"No, you have it?"

"You know, that could be the best chocolate covered strawberry in the world, but you wouldn't know because you won't eat it!"

"Fine then." He feeds it to me.

"Okay you were right." He laughs. "So um, I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure."

"Earlier. When you came down for breakfast you were, tense. Are the flashbacks coming back Peeta? If they are you know you should tell me!"

"No, there not, I just… I got a phonecall after you went downstairs from someone very high up in the Capitol."

"And?"

"Katniss, I don't really know how to tell you this. Th-they want to-to-"

"Peeta…"

"They want to show all the Hunger games again. And they want all victors and tributes families there to watch."

**A/N: Okay so this is a personal message to Paulitapg13. So if you aren't her/him you have no reason to read on! Please review!**

**So hi!**

**Thanks for your review, I got it! However my iPad won't let me view the whole thing on email. I can see the first correction thing, which I have put right but only a part of the second. It ends with: '...and he told her he'd prefer it at a hospital and the told dr. R...' I am unable to get the review on my laptop through Fanfiction so if you wouldn't mind can you submit the rest of the review as one on this chapter? I really would like to read it!**

**Thanks!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: 2 things to tell you today and then you can read, I promise.**

**-Now as much as I hate to say it, this fanfic is coming to an end. I say another 5-6 chapters, probably less. Am I doing a sequel? I'll see, it depends how many of you want it.**

**-Second, just to let you all know that I don't think thegirlonfire121 is writing chapters with me anymore. I'm not sure why, we've just both been so busy. The last 5-7 chapters were mine but I still think she's a better writer then me.**

**Again, I'm not happy with this chapter so I'm sorry.:(**

**Enjoy:)**

"What!?"

"I don't really want to say it again Katniss."

"I'm not going. I don't care. We have Bella to look after and I can't… go through it all again."

"Well that's what I was going to say. I don't particularly want to go either, it could bring on all sorts of things for me and I don't want to be around you or Bella if anything did happen. I know I haven't had an attack in a long time, but I'm still nervous about it all. It's my greatest fear.

We both know he's talking about the flashbacks. It was bad enough at our first wedding and nearly a year on he still isn't fully recovered. He never will be.

"I know." I grab hold of his hand and squeeze it tightly. "I- no _we _will find a way around it. There is no way I am setting foot in that place. My first priority is you and Bella. Even if we have to persuade Haymitch to go in our place with 6 bottles of liquor stashed in his suitcase, I don't care. He'll be too drunk to remember anyway. I promise you, I'll get to the bottom of it. We won't have to go."

"Thank you. Now, let's forget about that. Tonight is about us, not them. Sweetcorn?"

He feeds me for the rest of the time we're in the woods but I can't seem to shake the thought of having to relive everything once again. Even when Peeta ends up on top of me in a passionate kiss, it's still nagging at me in the back of my mind. Why would a supposedly better Capitol force the people who already went through this living hell once to watch the people's family they killed look them in the eye?

"Katniss?"

He pulls me out of my daydream with a concerned look on his face.

"Sorry."

He runs a hand through his hair.

"I should never have told you."

"No! Look I'm glad you did, I don't want you to keep things from me! It's just…making me a little nervous."

"Come on. I think it's time to go back."

I let him take my hand and lead us both home in silence. Effie is slumped on the sofa with Bella on top of her. I nod to Peeta and he takes Bella upstairs to bed whilst I thank a groggy Effie for looking after her.

I go upstairs to say goodnight to Bella, who is now wide awake.

"MAAA" She holds her arms up in the crib so I pick her up and rock her to sleep. Peeta comes in about half an hour later and sits in his designated rocking chair. He speaks up after a while.

"We have a meeting with President Paylor tomorrow. She was planning to visit the district anyway, to see how the hospital's doing. After that she's coming here. Effie's agreed to look after Bella." He sighs, obviously distressed.

"I'm sorry." I feel incredibly guilty. He already has enough on his plate, and now this. I don't like being the one that's caused it either. I put Bella back in her crib.

He lifts his head up.

"What for? None of this is your fault Kat, you do know that don't you?"

I stay silent and this, it seems, is all the answer that Peeta needs. He gets up from his chair, effortlessly lifts me up, sits down and places me on his lap. I go to put my head on his chest but he stops me and cups my face with both hands.

"Why on earth would you think all of this is your fault baby?"

"I am the-" I take a deep breath. "M-mockingjay. I am the mockingjay. I am the symbol of the rebellion. I am the symbol of destruction and hatred and loss and unhappiness. Not you, not President Paylor, not anyone else but me."

He waits a minute before replying, like he's trying to piece together his thoughts. He has his armed looped around my waist in an iron grip, making it impossible to escape the questions.

"You know it was both of us that went into those games. Both of us trying to keep the other alive. Both of us gallivanting in front of the cameras so _our_ families were safe. Both of us helping each other cope. Both of us trying to rebuild a life together. Both of us falling in love again, for real this time. Both of us starting a family. Both, Katniss. That means two. So why do you think, after all this time I would even for one second blame you? The person who's fault it is, is dead. If you feel the need to blame someone, blame both of us. We went into this together, remember?"

I just nod and lean into him. He knows exactly what to say at exactly the right moment, something I've never been able to do. I hear him mumble a few 'I love you's before we both fall asleep.

* * *

Blue eyes. That's all I see when I wake up. Peeta's face is hovering above mine and he smiles as soon as I open them.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What! So a husband can't even watch his wife sleep anymore!?

"Not when your being creepy."

"That's mean!"

I laugh and playfully slap his surprisingly hard bicep.

"Come on, we have a meeting today remember. For the both of us." I smile but he doesn't let me go without a kiss on the nose.

We both get Bella ready together, who seems excited by the prospect of spending the day with a pink haired person. I go downstairs, with a huge bag of Bella's toys, clothes, diapers, food and all other things she'll need.

Peeta then follows with Bella and puts her in the middle of an array of toys which will keep her occupied until her babysitters arrive.

I get set on tidying the place up before President Paylor gets here, whilst Peeta bakes a wide range of food that I could probably eat all by myself.

"MAAA? DAAA?"

We both ignore her. I'm not sure why. We're both very busy and stressed out to say the least.

"DADDY?" Peeta looks up from icing his cookies and I snap my head from sorting out the pillow arrangement. We gradually look at each other, both of our eyes wide.

Peeta walks over to and puts her on his hip.

"Can you say that again? Daddy. Daddy?"

She creases her eyebrow and tries to say it again.

"DADDY."

He spins her round in a circle making her belly laugh erupt from somewhere inside her.

"Coo, hoo! Only me!"

I answer the door to an excited looking Effie.

"Ah Katniss! Is Bella all ready?"

"Well um, I-I, she's just said her first word." I say, still in shock myself.

She pushes me out of the way into the living room where Peeta is desperately trying to make her say it again.

"Peeta?"

He looks up from our daughter to me.

"The Presidents here."

And she was. Walking up our driveway onto our decking was President Paylor.

She still looks the same, even after all this time. The same brown eyes and slightly darker hair. The same circles under her eyes. But she's different somehow. I thought she understood. Understood that I could never do any of that again. But she doesn't. Of course she doesn't, no-one does. And that's why when she enters my house and sits on the sofa ready for our lengthy conversation I take Bella from Peeta's arms, place a kiss on her head and hand her over to Effie. She will never be a part of this world. I wont allow it.

"President Paylor." I nod.

"So, you wanted to speak to me? Please, take as long as you need. I'm only needed this evening."

I turn to Peeta.

"The re-watching of the Hunger games. Why? You know what that was like, so why would you make us do it again?"

She sighs.

"There are many people Peeta who still support the Hunger games. People who I thought were well against it until now. People who work very closely with me. I may be President but some decisions I don't have a say in. This was one of them."

"But-"

"Please, let me finish. I sympathyze with you, I do. However, I've found a way for you to be there without being there. The registers to check if you are there or not? Your names, Haymich and Effie, all of them have been ticked. Your there without being there. It doesn't matter if nobody sees you. As long as you stay out of sight on the day of the re-showing everyone will think you are there."

"Thank you President. Really." I say.

"Don't mention it. Now I must go, things to do, people to see."

"I'll show you out." I walk her to the hallway where she puts her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Katniss. Look after Bella and Peeta. You all deserve happiness. I'll do everything in my power to make sure nothing like this ever happens again. I promise."

**A/N: Please review! Sequel-no sequel? What would it be about? When the time comes of course.**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: So, I have officially decided not to do a sequel. It was a really hard decision and it literally came down to me writing a list of pros and cons. There was more bad then good. This chapter is way longer then they usually are but expect that for the last few chapters of this fic. **

**Now the question is epilogue or no epilogue? I really have no idea what to even write in one.**

**One final thing. Bella ages a lot this chapter but you'll soon see why. If you don't understand it feel free to pm me, I don't mind.**

**Enjoy:)**

After that day everything went back to normal. I looked after Bella to the best of my ability whilst Peeta went to work. When he came back he would play with her until the night took hold of day.

Time seemed to go too quickly for my liking. My baby girl was growing up to fast, right in front of my eyes. Even though I spent every minute of every day with her I still felt like I was missing something. Like I would miss her grow in the blink of an eye. I didn't know what to make of it at first. I didn't know whether it was a good thing that I didn't have to change diapers anymore or bad because soon she wouldn't need me.

Those days turned into weeks and those weeks turned into years. Bella was speaking fluently for a 2 year old and took her first steps on her birthday. Haymitch and Effie were known as 'Grampy' and 'Grandna' which suited me fine. My mother hadn't contacted me in years. It's not like Peeta hasn't encouraged me to contact her but if she doesn't want to speak to me then I don't see the point in trying. Bella has enough family anyway, who love her more than anything in this world.

Peeta bought up the subject of more children a few days after Bella's birthday. After I said I'd think about it and didn't give him an answer he hasn't bought up the subject. He grew up with 2 brothers and I know he wants that for Bella too. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. Bella has bought more happiness into our lives then I thought it possible for a child to do. I had Bella for Peeta, agreed to Bella for Peeta but she has done so much for me. She has made me more mature and not so scared of what the future may bring.

Another year came by as quickly as the other and Bella was 3. She was eager to learn and was always helping Peeta mix cookie dough that once baked would never look like cookies. She would get up early in the morning and beg Peeta not to go to work to which he would reply:

"I have to go and help the cookie fairies. No-one gets to try daddy's cookies if they don't."

She would sigh, give him a hug and climb into bed with me.

Then another year passed and here I am. Effie should be coming round soon, like she has done every Friday for the past 4 years so Peeta and I could have time alone, and for that I'm more then thankful.

"Mommy?"

I turn from the window to watch her, painting on her small easel.

"Yes baby?"

"Why does Grandna have pink hair?"

I laugh but she still looks confused. I signal for her to come to me and she straddles my waist and puts her arms around my neck as I sit on the sofa.

"Well your Grandna comes from a place where it's… normal to have pink hair. Some people have blue; others have green, but mostly pink."

"But she comes from her house. Is it normal to have pink hair in her house?"

"No, she comes from another district. Do you remember when Daddy told you about districts?"

"Yes! We come from District 2!"

"No, baby," I stroke her hair from her face. "District 12. Is there anything else you want to know about Grandna?"

"Um… can I have pink hair?"

"Maybe when you're a little bit older, yes? I don't think your Daddy would love me anymore if I let you have pink hair. We both know how much he loves your hair!"

"But Daddy said he's loved you forever. He told me!" She says, clearly excited about knowing something she thinks I don't. So I play along with her.

"Did he now? I don't believe you!"

"He did! I said to him 'how much do you love Mommy?' and he said 'I can't describe how much I love her! I've loved her forever.' And then he painted me!"

"Oh yes. Is that the day you and Daddy did finger painting?"

"Yeah!" I laugh.

"I remember. Now come on, Grandna will be here to pick you up soon."

And she was. Me and Peeta walked hand in hand to the village, somewhere we frequently go on our nights alone. We choose a table near the local café that's outside so we can watch the sunset when it makes an appearance.

"You look beautiful." I blush a deep scarlet.

"I'm only wearing an old dress. It's nothing special."

"It is to me." I smile and go on to order.

Our food comes a few minutes after that, during which time Peeta spends talking about a new employee he's hired to take on more of his duties at the bakery, so he can spend more time with Bella.

As I'm just about to tuck into my pasta salad when Peeta speaks up.

"So…uh… have you ever thought about…?" He clears his throat. "More children."

Normally in a situation like this I would freeze and run. But I don't. Not this time. Instead I smile.

"Yeah, I can't say I haven't."

He grins.

"So you-you would have another one?"

"Maybe," I take a bite of lettuce. "I mean I'm not saying no, but what if we have, complications like last time."

"Well the hospital knows now, they would watch you like a hawk." He smiles.

"Oh right."

"So, what do you say?"

"You and Bella need to make more cookies to satisfy my cravings."

He looks almost in shock.

"What? Is that," He gulps. "Is that a yes?"

"As long as you and Bella make me a huge batch of cookies, then yes."

"I'll bake you 1000 cookies Katniss, I love you so much."

I laugh.

"We might need that many."

"I don't care."

He practically jumps up from his seat to hug me so tight I think I might stop breathing.

"Are you still on birth control?" He whispers.

"Yeah, but I'll stop taking my pills as of tomorrow."

"Good. But you know we are very inexperienced at the art of making babies."

I raise my eyebrow.

"What exactly Peeta Mellark, are you suggesting?"

"Katniss Mellark I think you know exactly what I'm suggesting."

"That we go home and look after our 4 year old child?"

"That's not exactly what I had in mind."

"What were you thinking then?"

"Definitely not that!"

I laugh.

"Come on, we're leaving."

Peeta gets the bill and we walk home hand in hand again. Effie's just sitting on the sofa, on edge it seems, and jumps when we walk through the door.

"Effie are you-"

"Fine Peeta, never been better! Must dash." She almost knocks me over when she runs out the door.

"You okay?"

"Fine, yeah." I smile.

We both silently walk upstairs to Bella's room. We converted the nursery into a playroom and there is still enough room for another child. There is mine and Peeta's bedroom, Bella's bedroom, another 2 bedrooms, Bella's playroom, Peeta's studio and another big room that could become another nursery.

Peeta always says Bella looks like me whilst asleep. Her hair is all over her pillow and there are drawings of the three of us together all over her baby pink walls. She doesn't stir when Peeta walks over to her and strokes her hair from her face. He kisses her forehead and takes my hand again and leads us both to bed.

No nightmares that night. Just dreams. Nice dreams for a change. I walk into the bathroom when I wake up and Peeta is beside me. Saturday is his only day off. I walk into the bathroom and sigh. I open the bathroom cabinet and take out my tablets.

_Mrs Katniss Mellark_

_Birth Control Medication_

_ONE tablet to be taken everyday _

I sigh to myself. I examine the container, tossing it between my hands. Everything about me is saying to take them and to avoid the terror that would overtake me if I did get pregnant. But the tiny part of me, the one nagging at the back of my mind is Peeta. The grin that overtook his face when he found out I was pregnant and the glint in his eye when he first held Bella.

"You okay?"

Peeta's voice takes me out of my daydream. I must look confused because he laughs and comes and stands beside me.

"The bathroom door was open." He takes the pill box from my hand. "You don't have too. It was just an idea. We have Bella and she is great. Don't do this just because I want you too. It's your body."

"I want to; I promise it's not that. I'm scared Peeta. I don't think a can be a good enough mother. I barely am to Bella. You know how much she prefers your company."

He silently puts the pills back in the cupboard and leads us into the bedroom. He stands me in front of our full length mirror.

"Tell me what you see."

"I see me. I don't understand."

"No, what do you _see._" I gulp.

"I see a broken woman unable to escape nightmares. I see a woman without a sister, without a mother. I see an ugly woman, covered in scars. That's what I see."

He comes and stands behind me and places his hands on my shoulders, tears threatening to spill.

"Do you know what I see? I see a woman who is slowly recovering from her past, one day at a time. I see a woman who hasn't forgotten her sister or mother and thinks about them every day, even if she hates to admit it. I see a beautiful woman, whose scars show how strong she is and how far she will go to fight for what she believes in. I see a woman who is a brilliant mother whose daughter loves her very much, even if she doesn't believe it. I see perfection."

I turn around, crying fully now. I bury my face in his chest whilst he strokes my hair.

"Why do you have to be so damn good with words?"

He just laughs. Once my crying has dyed down I lead him into the bathroom, take the pills out of the cabinet and throw them in the bin.

We tried for months afterwards to no avail. It came to the point where Peeta knew exactly when my period was due. It was the day I would have freshly baked cheese buns and doughnuts for breakfast. But I always got it. I know he tried not to show how upset he was but it was obvious. The way his face would drop shattered my heart into a million pieces but he would always plaster on a smile and say:

"There's always next month!" but I knew he was losing hope.

I almost cried when my cycle was late by almost a week, but I to try not to let it show. It didn't get to me until Bella mentioned it. She would always be playing outside and would naturally make friends with other children.

"Mommy! Do I have a brother like Claire?"

"Um, no honey, you don't."

"But why has Claire got a brother?"

"Because Claire's mommy wanted another baby honey."

"Do you want another baby? I do!"

"Not if you keep asking questions. Why don't you go and ask to help Daddy paint his picture? I'm sure he'd love that."

She never asked questions after that. But that's when I realised how badly _she _wanted it. Not just me, not just Peeta, but Bella as well. That's what made me want it even more.

But it never happened. We both lost hope, Peeta and I. As much as I truly wanted it I hated seeing Peeta's face every time I would tell him no and I hated how guilty I felt. So we stopped trying. I never began taking the birth control again because I thought there was no need.

It was Bella's 5th birthday soon anyway and I didn't want to ruin that by being upset. She was never an 'I want' child as Effie called it but a 'Please may I have' child. In other words she wouldn't beg for pointless things like the latest doll or playhouse. She wanted them, you could tell by the look on her face when we walked past the store in town, but she would never ask. She was grateful for what she had, a trait I was glad of.

Peeta had already got her a doll on behalf of both of us but I wanted to give her something I knew she would love. She was starting school a few days after her birthday and I wanted to give her something I know would put her at ease. I dig in my old keepsake box I seem to have hidden away whilst Peeta's at the bakery.

And then I find it.

The necklace that Peeta gave me at the quarter quell.

His sign that I could have a life, without him, in District 12. Giving his life so I could have one, with Gale.

Over my dead body.

I take the picture of Gale out. I no longer consider him a part of my life, and Bella doesn't know him anyway. I replace it with a picture of the whole family, Effie, Haymitch, Me, Peeta and Bella. Alongside that of course is the picture of my mom and Prim. I brush my fingertips over Prims face and shut the locket, proceeding to wrap it up in paper.

The next day Bella comes pounding into our room singing:

"I am 5! 1-2-2-3-5-4! I am 5 Daddy!"

"You sure are! Do you want your presents now?"

"Yeah!"

He hands her the doll and her face lights up immidietly.

"It's from me and Mommy."

She wraps her arms around his neck.

"Thank you Daddy! And Mommy!" She bounds over to me and gives me a tight squeeze.

"Actually Mommy has something else for you." I reach into my bedside drawer and retrieve the necklace that has been there for days.

"Its a Mockingjay necklace. To protect you at school. And as long as your wearing it, nothing bad will happen to you." I remember saying the same words to Prim and I want to start crying right there, but I don't. Bella however seems more than happy.

"Look Daddy it opens!"

"Let's see! Look its Aunt Prim and everyone in that picture."

I clip it around her neck.

"I'm going to put my new doll in my room!" She bounds off, obviously excited to find a place for her new toy.

"I had no idea you still had that."

"I have everything from...that part of our lives."

"I think it's a great present for her."

"MOMMY! COME AND LOOK AT MY NEW DOLLY!"

I sigh.

"It's like she didn't even know I was there when we first saw it!"

**A/N: Please, please, please review and let me know your thoughts. Epilouge, no Epilouge? Did you like the chapter? Also how would you guys feel if I re-wrote chapters 1-4. I don't like them much. It would be the same plot, just, more detail and longer.**

**Consider this your Friday update because I'm on a school trip and am unable to update Friday!**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Hi guys! So, only 2 more chapters left in this fic and then an epilouge! I decided to update today as I've been wanting to write this chapter for a long time.**

**Enjoy:)**

_Peeta POV_

"But Daddy, I have a belly monster in my belly." Says Bella, gesturing towards her stomach. She's in her room, playing with her toys, supposedly unwell.

"Baby, you were fine a few hours ago, okay? Is this just because you don't want to go to school tomorrow?" She shakes her head.

"Then why?"

"Because I need to look after Mommy! She has a belly bug too and you're not here to look after her. I want to!"

"Oh honey!" I smile. "That's really sweet but Mommy doesn't have a belly bug. She has something else wrong with her, yeah? You know what would make Mommy feel better?"

"What!" She yells excitedly, obviously over her 'illness'.

"You baking her some cookies!"

"Yeah!" She runs downstairs as I walk into mine and Katniss' bedroom. She's lying in the middle of the bed, obviously tired. I walk up to her side and brush the hair from her forehead.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"I don't like you taking care of Bella on your own, it's unfair."

"Being awake won't help that. Just go to sleep okay, I'll bring you up some lunch later." I go to walk away but she stops me.

"Peeta, I really think I need to see the doctor. I'm tired, have a splitting headache-"

"Sure, okay, I'll call Doctor Reeves."

"Peeta, she's a pregnancy doctor."

"I know, but I know how much you hate hospitals and well, you know Doctor Reeves. Anyway, she'll know if you have the flu or not Kat."

"Okay." She smiles. "Now go make your sick wife some lunch."

I laugh.

"What do I get in return?!"

"Um, the satisfaction of knowing you made me happy?" She teases.

"I'll go with that." I give her a peck on the cheek and walk downstairs to Bella sat with her legs crossed on the floor, surrounded by an array of pots and pans.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"I can't find the bowl Daddy!"

"Sweetie, it's just behind you."

"Thanks!"

We spend the next couple hours baking a few dozen batches of cookies, some I'll sell at the bakery, others I'll give to the neighbours, and the rest we will eat.

"Hey, what smells good down here?"

And there she is my wife. Her shoulders are huddled; she's still in her pyjamas, has her hair all messy and obviously hasn't showered today. But still, she's never been more beautiful to me. She really is oblivious to the effect she can have, even still.

"Mommy! Is your monster gone?"

"I don't think so." She cracks half a smile.

"You shouldn't be down here Katniss." I scold.

"I know but, I'm a sucker for cookies!" She pulls an over the top sad face.

"Fine, you can stay down here." She smiles. "_But, _you will lie down on that sofa and let me take care of you."

"But Peeta I don't need looking a-"

"It's either that or I'm sending you back upstairs."

She goes and cuddles up with Bella on the sofa, Bella reading her a storybook. I walk out of the lounge and back into the kitchen where I proceed to clean up the mess that we made. I pack up the cookies I'm going to give out and sell and place the rest on the kitchen table. I ring the doctor's office who has agreed to see Katniss later this afternoon. I go to walk into the lounge but stop, hearing a conversation between mother and daughter.

"But what if I don't make any friends?!"

"Honey, I promise you have nothing to worry about, okay. If you be yourself and be nice to people, then they're going to want to be friends with you."

"Did you and Daddy go to the same school?"

"Um yes but-"

"Did Daddy love you then?"

I hear Katniss clear her throat. Its obvious Bella thinks our love for each other is amazing and is always asking me about it.

"Yes."

"Did you love him too?"

"I didn't really know your father then."

"Well how did you meet?"

_We were thrown into an arena and fell in love._

"I'll tell you a little later, okay? Why don't you go and get your backpack and show Mommy what you've got for school?"

"Okay!" I hear Bella's feet run upstairs and walk into the lounge. I take a seat next to Katniss.

"You handled that well."

"You were listening?"

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. I got you a doctor's appointment at 4. They're coming here so I'll take Bella out for a while when they arrive."

"Thanks!"

I hear Bella come pounding down the stairs.

"Mommy look, this is my pencil," she exclaims, taking each one out of her backpack whilst explaining. I take Katniss' hand in mine; give it a small squeeze and sit back to watch Bella go through the whole contents of her backpack.

* * *

"DADDY! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

I snap my head up from the cookies I was icing to see a much better, laughing Katniss in the doorway.

"You-you have a what?"

"A BOYFRIEND! NOW I CAN BE JUST LIKE YOU AND DADDY!"

Katniss shoots me a glance as if to sort this out.

"Honey, why don't you come and sit on the sofa with me?" I say gesturing towards the sofa.

"You see, Mommy and Daddy weren't boyfriend and girlfriend until we were much older, yes? So maybe it's not right for you to have a boyfriend because it wouldn't be like Mommy and Daddy."

"Okay Daddy. I don't have a boyfriend anymore."

She clamours onto my lap and gives me a hug.

"Anyway, what was he called?"

"Dylan Hawthorne!"

I freeze and Katniss stops laughing.

"Who?"

"Dylan Hawthorne! Open your ears Daddy!" She laughs.

"Um, Peeta." Katniss speaks up. "I'm going to go and see if it really is-"

"I don't want you going alone!"

"I know Peeta, but we really have no choice. I mean I didn't see _him _in the playground, just a women teacher but I-I didn't get her name. Look, I'll just go down there, take a peek around the door and if it's him I'll run out, okay?"

"Mommy, where you going?"

_(Katniss POV)_

"I'm just going out for a while sweetie, you can stay with Daddy for a while, alright?"

"Bye Mommy!"

I run down the street to the school. If it is Gale then it would cause a huge amount of trouble, not only for me but for Peeta. I know it would bring up a whole lot of insecurities. The truth is that he doesn't believe he's good enough for me, when in fact it is the other way round.

I get to the school in no time and run through the playground to the school building. I slow down once I get there and ask a startled receptionist which way the kindergarten classroom is. I race down there as quick as I got here.

There's the woman teacher still at the desk, obviously confused at my arrival.

"Hello Mrs…"

"Um, Mellark."

"Can I help you?"

"Urm, I was just wondering, do you know a Gale Hawthorne? It's just that, well it really doesn't matter. Do you know him?"

"I do actually, very well."

"Oh gosh, does he work in this class?"

"No, of course not, he works in district 11 now!"

"How do you know that?" I ask, relived.

"He's my brother."

I stand there for a minute, confused.

"Posy?!"

"That's my name!" She smiles.

"Last time I saw you, you were tiny!" I exclaim.

"And the last time I saw you, you were saving Panem!"

I laugh.

"Not really, quite the opposite. So, um, how is Gale?"

"Heartbroken, stupid for coming here in the first place. Really though Katniss, I think he's happy for you now. He's come to terms with things."

"That's good. I might start mailing him."

"Do you really think that's a good idea? I mean he slapped your husband.

"I know, it's just, well Peeta forgave him long ago for that and I miss my best friend."

"I understand."

"I wanted to ask you something. Bella came home chanting that she had a boyfriend called Dylan Hawthorne. If Gales not in town then did you-"

She flashes her wedding ring in my direction.

"I got married a few years ago and we had Dylan just after. I didn't want to change my surname; I've grown to like it to much!"

"Congratulations!"

"We've all moved on I guess. You, Katniss Everdeen, married with a child!"

"Mellark." I wink, "I never thought it would happen either, but Peeta can be very persuasive when he wants."

"I'm glad to see you happy."

"I have to go now Posy, Bella's at home with Peeta and I don't like to leave them alone together to long. Bella gets way too excited sometimes! It's been lovely seeing you, it really has. Here's my number," I say, handing her a scribbled note of our telephone number, "Just ring the house and we'll go out sometimes."

"I'd like that. Bye Katniss."

I walk out of the school, apologise to the receptionist for startling her, and make my way back home. Peeta's exactly where I left him, stiff and rigid, obviously anxious, with Bella playing on the floor.

"You don't have to worry!" I say, hanging my coat up in the porch.

"What?"

"Posy Hawthorne. Gale's sister is Bella's teacher. She had a child a few years ago and didn't wish to change her surname."

"Good. Is um _he_ back in town?"

"No. District 11. I might send him a letter."

"That's good. I hate that I've ruined your friendship."

"You haven't ruined our friendship. I'd rather spend time with my husband then Gale." I sit next to him on the sofa, climbing onto his lap.

"So, did you find out what your illness was?"

I nod.

"Well?"

"Follow me into the kitchen."

I've been dreading this all day. I know I'm going to have to tell him, it's not something I can keep easily.

We stand in front of one another and I put both my hands on his shoulders, his on my waist.

"I don't really know how to say this. I wanted to do something special to tell you but I may as well come out with it."

I take a deep breath.

"Okay what Katniss!? You're scaring me a little here!"

I clear my throat.

"Peeta. I'm pregnant."

**A/N: Okay, so no cool reveal to Peeta this time and to be quite honest it's because I couldn't think of one. Hope you liked it!**

**GUYS, I AM ONE REVIEW AWAY FROM 200! DO YOU KNOW HOW MIND-BLOWING THAT IS TO ME?!**

**Thank you seriously from the bottom of my heart if you even left one review. I started this fic as a bit of fun, and now look at me!**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a long time _but_ I didn't forget all about you as it has taken me the whole week to write this chapter. There's no real storyline, just a lot of fluff as the real stuff starts in the next chapter of this fic, which also happens to be the last.**

**Enjoy:)**

"Bella?" I drag a beaming Peeta from in front of the fridge by his hand, still in his own little world.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk to you for a second?" She plonks herself down on the couch and swings her legs back and forth, already bored with our lack of speed. I turn to Peeta.

"Do you want to tell her?" I whisper.

"Do you want me to?" He replies, obviously excited already.

"Of course I do."

He kisses me and I hear Bella pretend to be violently sick. I chuckle. Peeta takes a seat directly next to her and effortlessly lifts her onto his lap.

"So, you know when I tell you to stop eating cookies?"

"Yeah! You tell me that if I eat them all I'll get all fat!" She chuckles.

"Exactly. Now pretty soon, Mommy's going to be fat too."

"Because she ate too many cookies? I was going to have the leftover ones!" She sighs.

"No!" Peeta says, teasing.

"Then why?"

I take a seat on the opposite couch and smile at Bella. Sometimes she can be so naïve. She knows where babies grow but doesn't quite know how they get there, or come out. I take over from Peeta, who, however amusing his explanation may be, seems to be confusing Bella, only adding to the whirlwind of questions already circling in her head.

"You know how your friends at school have brothers and sisters?"

"Yeah." She says, getting distracted by how long this is taking to explain.

"Well, um, in a few months from now, you are going to have one."

"Really!"

"Yeah, really." I smile.

"Well how did it get there?"

"It was put there when I ate one of Daddy's special cakes! Isn't that right?"

"I made Mommy a special _cake_," he says, raising his eyebrow at me, "and then she had a baby growing inside of her."

"Can I have one of the cakes Daddy!?"

"No, you are definitely _not_ having one of these cakes, for a long while."

"Why not!?" She whines.

"Because, for the cake to work, a Mommy and Daddy have to love each other very much." Peeta smiles and takes my hand.

"Oh. Can I feel the baby?" Whines Bella, obviously over it.

"Sure you can, he or she is very little though, so you might not be able to feel them yet. You can talk to it though."

She runs over to the couch and motions for me to lie down. I do as she says and she carefully climbs on top of me. She then goes on to lay her head on my belly. She stays there for a few minutes and nobody says anything.

"Mommy! I can't hear her!"

I chuckle.

"Yeah, she can't talk yet honey. She's not like me and you."

"What's she like then?"

"Well, think of the smallest thing you've ever seen. And she's a tiny bit bigger than that."

"Can I go and play with my toys then?"

"Um, sure." I say, quite surprised at my daughters sudden actions. I thought she would be extremely excited at the thought of a new brother or sister. Apart from the few friends she has made during her first week at school, she doesn't really have anyone to play with other then me and Peeta, and Peeta is usually the one who plays her games.

She runs off upstairs and Peeta comes and sits next to be, concern written all over his face. I guess I'm getting worse and worse at hiding my feelings.

"Katniss, are you really okay? About the baby?"

"Sure," I say, picking up a magazine on the coffee table.

"Katniss? You don't have to be excited just because I am."

"I know," I say, flipping the page.

"So you're okay?"

"I'm going to the bathroom." I say, ignoring the question and running upstairs. He follows me up though and I slam the door in his face. I burst into tears and Peeta just stays silent.

I don't know the exact reason why I cried, there had to be some explanation, but at least one thing I was absolutely certain of.

I was scared.

Not just for myself, but for Bella and Peeta. I knew deep down that they had both fallen in love with this baby in the blink of an eye, where as I was unsure whether I would even learn to love it. As dramatic as it sounds, I still find it hard to love people when I know firsthand how easily it can slip away.

Only after I went into hospital just before Bella was born did I learn that stress could bring on early labour. This time around I want to be careful to avoid anything like that but this outburst has not helped anything.

There's a sharp knock on the door and Peeta opens it. He silently walks over to me, huddled in a corner and embraces me, whilst I cry into his chest.

"I'm so-sorry." I hiccup.

He hushes me.

"You've got every reason to cry, this is a big thing!"

"But you're not crying."

"I'm crying a river on the inside, I just hold it in for Bella whilst you, do your thing."

"But I don't hold it in and I should." I remind him.

"You're scared and I know that. I'm going to support you however I can, whether that be getting you ice cream at three in the morning or holding it together so you can cry for however long you need."

"But-"

"No 'buts'. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, you should know that by now." He softly smiles.

He carries me into our bedroom and sits me at the edge of the bed. He places a kiss on my forehead and silently walks out, off to tend to a screaming Bella.

* * *

I'm 5 months pregnant now. This pregnancy seems to go more quickly then when I was carrying Bella, but it certainly isn't easier.

The morning sickness eased off after a few weeks but sometimes hits back with a vengeance if I'm having a particularly hard day.

During the third month we both thought I was going into early labour, and it scared the hell out of Bella.

"_But Mommy, you said it was going to stay in there until after my birthday! It's before my birthday!"_

"_I know sweetie just please-," I say, wrapping my arm around my slightly round stomach, attempting to ease the excruciating pain I was feeling, "go and get Daddy from your Grandpa's"_

_She runs out the door whilst I go and get our emergency hospital bag from the corner of the living room, which has been there since the day I told Peeta I was pregnant._

_He comes running in a few minutes after, immediately picking me up and going to the hospital._

It turned out that I wasn't in labour at all, much to my relief. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions, something I have never heard of.

"_They are common in women who have a lot of stress and can come as early as when your 6 weeks pregnant. You may think you're in labour, but it's just your uterine muscles tightening. It's just a natural part of pregnancy; you have nothing to worry about."_

"_But I didn't have it when I was pregnant with Bella."_

"_Some women don't even feel them and not all mothers have them."_

I also found, over time, that this baby was tiring me out. I would walk Bella to school in the morning and walk back home on my own, a journey that usually takes 20 minutes altogether. It was taking me double to get there and back lately.

"Are you okay?" Peeta snaps me out of my daydream as he rests his hands on my shoulders and we stare out of the window.

"Just… thinking." I reply.

"You do that too much." He says, placing a lingering kiss on my neck.

"Maybe, but there's nothing much I can do to help it."

"I know."

We're interrupted by Bella who comes pounding down the stairs, even though me and Peeta keep telling her not to.

"Mommy! Can I go to Katie's party?"

I sigh.

"Party?"

"Yeah, her birthday party! She is 6!"

"Um, I don't know sweetie, when is it?"

"Today!"

I crouch down to her level.

"Why didn't you tell Mommy and Daddy any earlier?"

"I don't know." She looks at the ground. I turn to Peeta.

"Can we take her?"

"I don't have anything planned tomorrow, so I'll do it." He smiles. I turn back to Bella and tuck my finger under her chin.

"Sweetie," she lifts her head and meets my gaze, "do you have anything to wear for that party?"

Her arms wrap around my neck as she shouts 'thank you!' over and over.

"Why don't you go and pick something you like out to wear and come downstairs to show me and Daddy, yeah?"

"Okay!" She runs back upstairs as me and Peeta share and embrace.

An hour later Bella is still not ready.

"Come on Bella! We need to leave in a minute!" Peeta yells up the stairs.

"Coming Daddy!"

I take a seat on the couch whilst Peeta goes into the kitchen.

"Mommy," Bella walks into the living room, "do I look nice? I found this in a box under your bed!"

I gasp as Bella twirls around in front of me.

Holding back the tears I say;

"You look beautiful," a single tear falls down my cheek, "but you better tuck in that tail little duck."

**A/N: Are you crying? Cause I am. If you don't get it, please pm me.:)**

**GUYS I HIT 200 REVIEWS! THANK YOU TO MY 200TH REVIEWER: LoveForEverlark. **


	35. New Oneshot Posted!

**A/N: Hi guys! Okay, I have had so many requests for Hunger Games fanfiction, so I did it! I have just posted a oneshot called 'It Was Always Katniss'. Here's the summary:**

I don't know the exact moment when I saw her, but as soon as I did, the whole world stood still. It wasn't like love at first sight. It took me a few years of knowing her to finally realise how much, how deeply, I was in love with her. But from that day on, from that very moment in the schoolyard, I always knew I was going to marry Katniss Everdeen.

**I wrote it a little before I published this story but I have made alterations to it. It is a oneshot but I may post other chapters. Please go check it out and see why you think!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I've been a little disheartened by the responses for previous chapters so I am finishing this fic as quickly as possible. This is the last chapter and there will be an epilogue posted later today or tomorrow.**

**Also, this whole chapter has been written on my iPad and whilst I have taken extra care to ensure there are no spelling or grammar mistakes, please excuse it if there are as my spellcheck seems to be a little strange.**

**Enjoy:)**

I have never given much thought to how I would react if I had a baby boy. I always expected I would have another girl because thats what Peeta wanted. This time around I was positive I would have another girl but my heart still ached for my very own baby boy. Just the thought of him looking exactly like his Daddy made my stomach flutter and I could only hope that in 2 months time I would have a happy, healthy boy.

I had Connor a few months after that. The first time I held him, a few minutes after giving birth, I was overcome with a joy that was nothing like I'd ever experienced. He had a head full of blonde curls but my eyes, both my children had my eyes. Bella was more then happy with our new arrival, going to give him a huge bear hug before Peeta stopped her.

He was growing quickly and I found myself being unable to part with him for even a second. Much like when Bella was a baby, he adored Peeta but seemed to adore me even more. If Peeta left the room he would frown but would otherwise be fine, whereas if I even set foot in another room he would scream the place down.

At 2 months Connor got even more attention then Bella did when she was that age. Everyone would fight over who got to hold him and argue when someone got a second longer with him then another person did. I would watch on and chuckle as Peeta put an arm around me.

Bella didn't get jealous of all the attention her new brother got. In fact, I think she liked the spotlight off of her. She was getting on well at school and had good grades for a student of her age. At the moment the school are doing about family trees at school, something I also did as a child. Lately I've been telling her stories of her aunt Prim, Grandma and Grandpa Everdeen and even Buttercup . I never go into much detail. She does ask me questions about them but I usually brush them off.

_"Why isn't aunt Prim here? Where's Grandma and Grandpa? Why have they never came to see me? Don't they love me!?"_

_"She died when she was very young. Your Grandpa died in an accident when I was young, your Grandma works at a hospital in another District. I think it's hard for Grandma to come here, maybe we can go to see her one day."_

I'm still unsure as to why my mother hasn't contacted me. She knows that she has 2 grandchildren as it was all over the news when Connor was born. Before me and Peeta got married she was the only family I had. I always hoped that one day she would turn up at my door, arms open ready to embrace me. Ready to apologise for all the years of hell she put me and Prim through. I would explain to her, that on some days I felt too broken to get out of bed, too broken to move and that all I did was cry. She would move into my house, help me get back to reality and be a proper mother.

It never happened.

"Your nothing like her." Peeta smiles sweetly at me as I sift through family photos for Bellas project, stumbling upon one of my mother and fathers wedding day.

"I hope not. I don't want Bella or Connor to hate me when we're old and grey."

"Katniss, don't you dare talk about your self like that!" He gently scolds. "Bella and Connor are the luckiest children in the world to have a mother like you. I just hope that they know that. And I can't believe you think these blond curls would go grey!"

I am slightly taken aback. Its true that I don't really think I'm a good mother. I love my children with all my heart but it always seems that Peeta does everything for them. He doesn't baby them, at least not often, but when he does you can tell how much thought and effort goes it to it.

"Honey," I motion for him to sit on the couch next to me,"do you really think that?"

"Of course I do." He gives me a sweet kiss on the lips and I'm sure he intends to take it further, when Connor starts crying. I stride over to him in his crib near the window of the living room and place him so that his head rests on my shoulder. I gently rock him.

"Aw, baby. You really don't like it when Daddy spends time with Mommy, huh?"

He falls asleep after a while but I am afraid he'll wake up again when Bella comes pounding down the stairs, no matter what we tell her. Her birthday is coming around again pretty soon but Peeta is more concerned about my birthday. I always tell him to never celebrate my birthday and focus more on the kids birthdays, something he was reluctant to agree on. So, as a compromise, we only celebrate milestone birthdays for the both of us and this year I am 25. It's hard to believe that almost ten years ago, I was entering the Hunger Games. The only thing that helps me with the guilt, with the feeling that I killed so many people and ruined lives,is that I am certain my children will never have to go through what we did. They will never have to worry when their twelfth birthday comes along and instead have a celebration they will enjoy.

"Mommy! When is your birthday?" I smile at her.

"Tomorrow sweetie. Why?"

"Because Daddy says that he's got a big surprise planned and that-"

Peeta springs up out of his place next to me and gives Bella a bear hug to shut her up. He ruffles her hair as he says, "And Daddy also said that you could help if you...?"

"Don't tell Mommy!" she squeals.

"Exactly."

"I'm going back upstairs to make your surprise birthday card Mommy! Everyone in the District signed it but sush, its a secret!"

I chuckle to myself and nod. "I won't tell a soul."

She runs back upstairs and Peeta sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, I did tell her to keep it a secret from you."

I hold my hands up. "Hey, I don't mind. In fact, I should of figured it out months ago."

I carry on flipping through our family photos, occasionally smiling and sometimes even laughing at moments I would've forgotten if they werent caught on camera. The box full of old photos are meant to be of mine and Peetas families but only one photo of Peetas family is there. He's a small boy in it and his two brother s have there arms around him outside of the bakery. His mother is nowhere to be seen.

"Peeta!" I yell and cringe a little afterward as it might've woken Connor. He pokes his head round the kitchen door.

"Yeah?"

"Why are there no photos of you in here? "

"Um, they they got destroyed I think, in the bombings." He rubs the back of his head. "I would've liked to teach Bella about her uncles though, I think they would've liked her."

"They would've. They might've even loved her as much as you do."

We're both in the kitchen now, me with both hands on Peeta's chest and his hands lazily resting on my waist.

"That's not possible."

"We'll Bella is a very loveable person." I point out.

"True. But take us for instance. How much do you love me?"

"Is that even a question?"

"Just answer it!' He give me a quick peck on the lips.

"Fine. I, Katniss Mellark love you and our children more then anything in this whole wide world. And if I were to explain exactly how much I would be here for a lifetime and Connor needs another feed in a hour." I tease.

He laughs. "Exactly. It's indescribable. That's how much I love _you _and Bella and Connor. And if my brothers were still here they'd have a hard time matching up to it, that's for sure."

I grin at my husband.

"Its good to know they have a Daddy who loves them as much as you."

"Hmm, I guess. They have a Mommy that loves them just as much."

We pause for a while, just looking into each others eyes for God knows how long.

"So you've got everyone in the District to sign my birthday card, Bella knows what you're planning _and _you've kept tight lipped about it since Bella mentioned it. What have you got up your sleeve Mister Mellark?" I smirk.

He stays silent.

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"Nope, you'll like it, trust me."

"And if I don't?"

"I'm the worlds worst husband."

I point my finger at him. "Now that is not possible."

* * *

I wake up to the smell of cinnamon and wax. I can tell without even opening my eyes that Peeta left the comfort of our bed and long while ago and he is now standing at the bottom of my bed with Bella by his side, holding a cinnamon pancake with a single candle in the centre.

I crack one eye open and Bella jumps onto our bed.

"Happy birthday Mommy!" She wraps her arms around my neck. I do the same.

"Thank you sweetie."

She climbs over to the left side of the bed,where Peeta usually sleeps when I see Peeta, stood at the foot of the bed, with my breakfast on a tray.

"Morning honey."

He walks over to me a gives me a long kiss on the lips.

"Happy birthday." He whispers.

"Thank you."

He pulls away, hands me my breakfast, and ruffles Bellas hair.

"Don't you have something to give to Mommy?"

She reaches behind her back and takes out an envelope. I open it to find that Bella has drawn a picture of our family. There's me and Peeta in the middle, her holding hands with Peeta, me holding hands with a tiny Connor. I flip the card and it is filled with messages of love, of support and even of thanks.

"It's perfect honey, thank you."

I eat breakfast and chat with Peeta and Bella for a while before I get dressed. I go downstairs to find Peeta and Bella snuggled up on the sofa.

"I'm just going over to Haymitch and Effies place. I think they want to give me something, I don't know. I'll be back in a few."

I sprint over to Haymitchs place as I want to get whatever it is out of the way, I need to be with my family right now.

I just walk in through the front door and find Effie flipping through a magazine . As soon as she sees me she jumps up out of her seat and pushes me up the stairs.

"Effie what-"

"Shut up and go to the first bedroom on your right."

I give her a confused look but do as she says. I open the door to it dimly lit with candles, most of them centred around a card the carbon copy of the one Bella gave me this morning.

I close the door behind me, get the card , and take a seat on the bed.

_Katniss,_

_I bet you're pretty confused right now huh? If Effie's followed my instructions correctly that is. Now I want to tell, you some things before we get into things. _

_You must know by now how much I love you and our children, and how much I value our marriage. I know you well enough to know how much it pained you to have me have an episode at our first wedding and how much of a shock it was to find out how it wasn't official. I can't even begin to tell, you how much it hurt me to know that I had caused you saddness in some way. So today, on your 25th birthday, I wanted to make it up to you. So really, I only have one question to ask you._

_Will you marry me,today?_

_All my love,_

_Peeta x_

I sit there for a while, not sure what I'm really supposed to do. The answer is yes, the answer will always be yes. But do I have to run back over to our house and fling myself into his arms? Do I go back downstairs to Effie?

"If you're as smart as I think you may be, you'll say yes."

My head snaps up to see Haymitch in a black fitted suit with a single primrose in the pocket. In his left hand is a petite white dress that I suspect comes just above my knees yet still elegant with a lace back.

"Is-is that the uh-"

"Dress? Yup. He has got everything planned out that husband of yours. Now I have instructions to make you put this on." He throws the dress at me. "Hurry, the cars will be here in twenty minutes."

I go to mutter a 'thank you' but Haymitch is gone before the words can leave my lips. I put on the dress swiftly. It is perfect. It's not to over the top, something I hate, yet I know if I wore this dress and walked down the street, everyone's head would turn.

I make my way back downstairs and find Effie in a lilac dress, holding hands with Bella who is in a smaller, matching dress. When she sees me her face breaks out in a grin thst reminds me so much of her father.

"Mommy!" She runs up to me, arms open, and flings herself into mine. "Daddy's going to marry you again!"

"I know honey, I know." I sniff.

"Dont you want to marry Daddy!?" Exclaimed Bella, noticing the tears now freely flowing down my face.

"No, no!" I reassure her. "I'm crying because I'm happy." I muster up a smile.

We all make our way outside to the cars and I stare longingly at our house. I start to wonder whether Peeta is sat inside, possibly feeling half the nerves I am.

It's a short drive to wherever we're going, the justice building I suspect, during which time Bella babbles on about her wedding.

"...and it will be all pink and fluffy!"

We arrive at our destination in no time, and it is in fact the justice building. However, instead of leading us all through the front door Haymitch takes me the back way and leaves Effie and Bella to go a different way. I freeze in my tracks. Haymitch gives me a puzzling look.

"I'm scared." I say.

Because I am. Not because I don't want to marry Peeta again. He's got my present perfectly right, I _have _always wanted a traditional wedding, it's what everyone in the seam had, I just never thought to tell him. Its not that both of our weddings weren't perfect, because they were, but we kept them both on the down-low and I would've liked everyone in the district to be there. But today isn't about that. Today is about reassuring mine and Peetas promises to each other and to the whole of District 12. It's about celebrating our love for each other, even after all we've been through.

Haymitch turns to me and sighs.

"Of what?"

I almost laugh because quite honestly, I don't know myself. I take a deep breath.

"Take me to my husband."

We keep walking on for a little while and I can't help but admire how beautiful the outside of this place is. There are flowers dotted everywhere and they omit a smell I'm unfamiliar with.

"We're here." Haymitch whispers. I can see Effie and Bella walking up the aisle hand in hand but all I want is Peeta. He's the only one that can really calm my nerves.

The music changes to a more traditional song so Haymitch tucks my arm around his and almost drags me onwards.

"Don't let me fall Haymitch."

"You'll only be _falling in love!"_

We walk on down the aisle. I can see in the corner of my eye friends from the district and workers from the bakery.

And then I see him, grinning so much I'm scared his face will split in two.

I immediately calm down and all of a sudden I feel that I could take on the world as long as he is by my side. I speed up our walking considerably but I know that you're not really supposed to do that.

Peeta met us 3 quarters of the way along. Haymitch handed over my arm but instead he took my hand and softly interlaced our fingers together. We walked the last few steps up the aisle together where we were greeted by the mayor. Me and Peeta stayed hand in hand.

"Ladies and Gentleman, people of District 12, today we have gathered in the gardens of the Justice building to celebrate the bond that Katniss and Peeta Mellark share. They are here to celebrate their love for one another and reassure each other of the promises they made to each other. Peeta, would you like to go first?"

We turn to face each other.

"Katniss. My wife, the mother of my children, my one and only love. I hope you know how much I love and respect you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I love you. It's like walking to the moon, it's impossible." He laughs a little. "But really, I want to thank you. For your endless supply of kisses, your kind words, our children, the huge amount of game we have all the time! I want to tell you that each and every day I spend with you, I seem to fall in love with you all over again. Each and every day you seem that bit more flawless and beautiful, whether you're in jeans and a t-shirt with Connors sick or Bellas lunch or when your all dressed up. I love you with all my heart, body and soul, always and forever."

The tears are streaming down my face and I can already see a few of the rows sobbing.

"Katniss?"

"Um, wow, honey that was...beautiful. I first want to start off with my thanks to you. I thought I was getting a card from you and Bella and Connor but instead, I got everything I have ever wanted. You. I am _the _luckiest woman in the world too be able to say that I am married to the most kind, handsome, generous, selfless man in the whole of Panem. You have given me so many things for which I am eternally grateful. You showed me that life isn't all that bad, that life can be good again. You have changed me into a better person, a more loving person. And our children, well their all down to you. Without you, I would have been deprived from the one thing that I love almost as much as you. I love you with all my heart, body and soul forever."

And for once, I really mean it.

**A/N: AHHHHHHH! **

**So here's the deal, I don't really know why I put the wedding in, it just felt right. The way I see it, Peeta and Katniss have changed due to each other and I felt like I needed to get that across.**

**Like I already said this is the last chapter of The Truth About Love however the epilouge is being written as you read this. I have just posted a Oneshot so please go check that out and see what you think!**

**Please review!**


	37. Epilouge

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry this has been such a long wait but I wanted this to be perfect.**

I watch her pacing up and down the bathroom, a swarm of twenty-something girls trying to perfect her hair. I walk into the bedroom and run my hands up and down the beautiful dress; the dress that twenty years ago was mine. Her room is exactly the same as she left it. A desk in the corner, a deep purple duvet cover and of course a picture of her then boyfriend on the bedside table.

"Don't tell me you're going to cry as well! Dad's already down there an absolute wreck-"

"Who says I'm crying!" I sniff, "It's not like my only daughter is getting married today!"

"Mom." She comes over a tightly hugs me. "Just go check on Dad for me?"

I make my way downstairs where Peeta sits sobbing on the kitchen table in his black tux.

"You weren't this upset at your own wedding, so what the hell is wrong?" I lean on the doorway.

"She's our baby girl Kat, but she won't be as of 2 o'clock this afternoon. She won't come to me to sort out all her problems she'll go to _Steve."_

"Steve is a nice guy and you know it. You're just being a grumpy old dad." I tease, walking over to him and putting my hands on his shoulders. "And you know he's going to take care of her."

"I guess. I'm just finding today a little difficult."

"I'm right here. Just please calm down a little; she still has to put the dress on!"

He lifts his head up and smiles at me.

"You looked beautiful in that dress."

"You're just saying that because you picked it out."

"What can I say, I have great taste." He jokes.

"Just be quiet and go upstairs to check on Bella will you?" He gets up, snakes his arm around my waist and kisses me.

"It's still disgusting after so long." I hear Bella say from the door. Peeta strides over to her and gives her a tickle under the chin.

"You're just jealous that I still love you mother after nearly forty years." He puts his arm around her shoulders and leads her upstairs.

An hour later and Bella is walking down the stairs in my old wedding dress, Peeta's arm tucked around hers. After a few pictures the bridesmaids enter and Peeta walks over to me.

"She looks the spitting image of you." He whispers.

"She does doesn't she." I say, admiring her long curly hair and grey eyes. There's silence between us for a while, both of us admiring our daughter.

"Do you think Haymitch would've liked to be here?" He asks.

"He wouldn't have liked it, but he wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Haymitch died five years ago, something the whole district took badly. Although he was expected to die just before Bella's 23rd birthday, he lasted a year longer than anyone thought he would. He didn't really have anything to live for, however bad that sounds. Him and Effie lived happily alone together and would come around to our house for dinner often. Sometimes Effie would even come on her own. She developed a special bond with Connor, more so then she had with Bella anyway. When she died, a few years before Haymitch, Connor took it especially hard. At the time he was in his early teens and wasn't well equipped to deal with anything. I don't think he's fully over her death and he's 21 years old. I don't think he ever will.

"I agree."

"THE CARS ARE HERE!" Bella squeals.

"That's my queue." Peeta sighs.

"Hey, be happy today. This is a big deal for her. She's still our baby, just all grown up."

* * *

"So can you make it?"

"We'll have to see honey; you live all the way across town."

"Please Ma, this is something important. You know I wouldn't ask otherwise."

I sigh.

"I invited Connor. That's how important this is."

"You got him to come to District 12 all the way from 2!"

"Ma that's not the point."

"I'm sorry baby. I'll speak to your father alright. I'm pretty sure I can persuade him to bake that cinnamon bread you like. I'll see you Sunday."

"Thanks Ma."

I hang up the phone and give Peeta a look.

"You up to making some cinnamon bread?"

"You up to helping me?"

"Only if you want your bread ruined."

"Oh come on. Your fine with cupcakes."

"Technically I'm not. Picture this. Connors 11th birthday, all the family in the house. I made cupcakes and no one ate them but you? Yeah, I'm all set to join you in the bakery Peeta!"

"Hey! You did for a while! You were good at it too."

"And why didn't I carry on?"

"So you burnt a few loaves? Please just help me?! I won't let you mess it up."

"Fine! But if I burn it-" He holds his hands up.

"My fault."

"Good boy." I give him a peck on the lips as we go on to making the dessert for our meeting with Bella. After a few hours of foods fights, kissing and more kissing we both settled down for the night.

I wake up in the morning to Peeta's side of the bed stone cold, an indication that he hasn't been there for hours. I don't worry as much as I used to when he isn't there in the mornings. We're both 45 now and are used to each other's habits. Peeta tends to need time alone in the mornings, I don't know exactly why, but I've let him do it for so long asking him would be pointless.

Just as I am about to make us both a cup of tea, he emerges through the back door in almost a panicked state.

"Hey, we're out of sugar did you use it all be-"

"Promise me." I turn around to face him.

"Promise you what?"

"Please don't ever go away from me." He almost cries.

"Peeta, we've been through this a thousand times before. I'm not going anywhere. Why are you like this all of a sudden?"

"There back Katniss."

I know exactly what he means. The nightmares. It was hard enough explaining it all to the children, including explaining the games. Bella was only 10 when we couldn't avoid answering the questions anymore.

_"Why does your wedding ring have a pearl on it? Why do you wake up screaming in the night? What is a mockingjay?"_

We just couldn't make up excuses anymore, it was impossible. So one day after school we sat her down and told her everything.

_"When me and your father were young, your age, well the world wasn't like it is today. Every year from the ages of 12 to 18...children were chosen or, um, reaped. There were children reaped from every district and all of them came together to...fight to the death. When me and your father were sixteen," I turn to Peeta. "I can't do this I'm sorry."_

_I go to tug away but he has a firm grip around my hand._

_"Together."_

_"Together." Peeta then takes over._

_"When me and your mother turned sixteen we were reaped. We went to the Capitol and were trained to," he takes a deep breath. "Kill. Grandpa Haymitch helped us survive and your Grandma Effie did too, each in their own ways. Um, a lot of people died Bella, during that period. People who I consider family. They saved me, when I was at the worst point in my life, they believed in me. I was tortured, memories forced inside my head, fake memories. That's why sometimes, I grab the back of a chair like there is no tomorrow. Because sometimes, I can't tell the difference between those memories and the present day."_

The worst thing was that Bella didn't even know how to interpret it all. We left major parts out, for good reason. We both knew she would learn it at school and even though she may be hurt that we hadn't told her ourselves, Bella was such a warm and compassionate child that we knew she would understand. After we told her she came over to each one of us in turn and gave us a long hug. I don't know about Peeta but when she embraced me she whispered in my ear,

_"I'm sorry Ma, I'm sorry you had to do that. I'm sorry they put you through that."_

_"It was all for you and your father," I whispered back. "Even if I didn't know it at the time. I would do it all again if it meant having us all together."_

Peeta snapped me out if my daydream. "Katniss, I can't go through this again. What if I hurt you or the kids if I have an episode!?"

He was frantically running about the kitchen, more scared then I have ever seen him before. I stand in his way and put my hands on both cheeks, forcing him to look up.

"You're not thinking straight, alright. Connors staying at a friend's tonight before he goes back to 2 and you haven't had an episode in more than 20 years. Tonight, you have a nightmare, wake me. Understand?"

He nods.

"I don't care whether I've just fallen asleep or it's five in the morning. I'm not going anywhere, haven't I proved that to you?"

He gulps. "Gale. Gale showed up in my nightmare." He bursts into tears and I drag us both to the couch.

"He-he knocked on the door and you ran in-into his arms!" He sobs.

I stroke his hair; it's all I can do. Because when he's this upset Peeta needs reassurance, something I can only give to him when he's calm enough to receive it. He sobs turn to nothing but sniffs and I slowly begin to talk sense back into him.

"If Gale ever turned up on that doorstep, I wouldn't run into his arms, not in a million years. I would probably slam the door in his face for being such an idiot." We both smile. He sits up.

"I'm sorry. I'm 45 years old I shouldn't-"

"Shh. You've been through more than any other 45 year old I know."

"Still, I should be recovered by now and not being hysterical about some friend."

"Gale is not my friend. Whatever we had in the past is gone now. Someone who hasn't spoken to you in 20 years and punched my husband, well I don't want to be around them."

He pulls me onto his lap.

"I'm sorry you had to give up your friends for me Katniss."

"I'd do anything for you."

"But he used to be your best friend. I don't know. I just feel bad sometimes."

"_Used_." Peeta gives me a sad smile. Over the years I can't say I've missed Gale. I loved him; a small part of me will always love him. But never as much as I love Peeta. With Gale it's a completely different love. I love him as I do my children and if he turned up on my doorstep right now battered and bruised, I'd be lying if I said I would slam the door back in his face.

I can't even imagine an old, wrinkly, grey haired Gale. By now he will be married with children of his own and I can only hope they make him as happy as mine do.

"Come on." He says softly. "We have to go to Bella's."

"Are you sure you can? I can call her and-" He quiets me with a soft kiss.

"I'll be fine."

We walk hand in hand to the car. It doesn't take long for us to drive to her house.

Bella and her husband Steve live in the old merchant side of town. Steve's family must be wealthy because those houses are still quite expensive. We walk up to the driveway hand in hand and barely wait at the door 5 seconds before Bella comes to embrace us.

"Hi Ma!" She says as she hugs me a little tighter than I'd prefer. "Well don't just stand out here all day! Come on in!"

I give Peeta a look but he just shrugs his shoulders. Bella seems a lot happier then she usually is but I suppose I should be happy. I'd rather her be jumping for joy than so riddled with sadness she can barely find the will to get up in the morning.

We're quickly escorted into the kitchen where Steve is slaving over the stove. He stops as soon as we come in the door and his attitude seems to completely change.

"Mrs Mellark." He holds out his hand and I limply shake it. He moves over to Peeta and does the same.

"Please, Peeta and Katniss." Peeta points out. "Your part of the family now."

Steve grins. I change the subject.

"So, um, when does Connor get here?"

"In a few minutes actually. Dinner should be ready soon so hopefully he will be on time for once."

Connor does have a tendency to be late for things. Whether that's because he thinks he will get away with it I will never know. As Bella leads us into the living room Connor bursts in right on time, out of breath.

"I'm not late!" He pants.

"Actually," Bella says whilst looking at the clock, "you're late by 5 minutes."

"Well I haven't missed anything important!"

I sigh. Connor proceeds to hug us both and we sit down for a while discussing things. What life is like in 2, how things are going with his girlfriend. I am sure he wants to tell us more when Steve calls us all for dinner.

We must have been sitting around the table for around 10 minutes when Peeta finally asks the question that has been waiting on my tongue ever since we got here.

"So why were we invited here anyway? Not that it's not nice, because it is-"

"We were just wondering why it was such a rush for us to come here so soon after the wedding, is all." I add.

Steve and Bella give each other a look and clasp hands.

"Well it's been a month since the wedding and we just thought-"

"You made me take a train just to celebrate one month of being married! Come on!" Connor says, with a mouth full of food.

"Connor!" I gently scold. He only looks down and tries to keep the smirk off of his face.

"So, as I was saying, it's been a month exactly since the wedding and we have some news." They look at each other.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

I sigh and take a seat in the chair nearest to the hospital bed. For the past 14 hours me, Peeta and Steve have been waiting for what seems like days. Waiting for something that I know Peeta will have waited his whole life for.

A sweaty Bella lies on the bed, panting after another contraction.

"Ma! How did you do this…twice!?"

I laugh. "Never underestimate the powers of persuasion."

She smiles but it turns into a frown when another contraction hits. She grits her teeth as she says, "Ma, please get Doctor Reeves!'

I race of to get Doctor Reeves. The Doctor Reeves that gave birth to Bella and Connor is no longer alive but she did have a daughter, who now works at the hospital. I myself have never seen her but it is thought she looks exactly like the late Doctor Reeves.

I turn a few heads as I race down the halls. I haven't really changed in appearance other than a few wrinkles under my eyes and even today people still recognise me and Peeta.

It doesn't take me long to find Doctor Reeves junior who tells me to call her Megan.

"Um, my daughter, I think she's ready to push." I pant.

"Okay. It looks like you're about to have a granddaughter Mrs Mellark."

Just the thought makes the butterflies that were already present multiply.

"I guess I will."

We both walk quickly back down the halls and enter the room to find the sweat still pouring down Bella's face. Megan gets into the zone that I saw my mother do all those years ago. Nothing else matters except for getting that baby out and in this case its one of my own.

My granddaughter.

* * *

"Cookies!"

That's right! He says, tickling her five year old belly.

I've been watching Peeta play with Sophie for around 10 minutes. It's obvious how much he loves her.

"Peeta, you really should stop giving her cookies." He turns to face me.

"And why's that?"

"She's five years old! And you've given her two already. Her teeth will rot!"

He strides over to me and places his hands on my waist.

"Are you just unhappy because there will be less at the picnic?"

I fight back a grin.

"No, I am thinking of our granddaughter's health here honey, and I don't think two cookies are very healthy for a five year old."

"Well, she seems to enjoy it. And don't worry; I have extra cookies just for you."

"And do you have-"

"Cake? Lots of it."

"You know me too well." I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him full on the lips.

"Come on," I say. "Bella and Steve will already be at the meadow." He picks up Sophie and we all walk to the meadow.

It still looks exactly the same as it did all those years ago but there are odd bunches of flowers under the large tree that stands in the middle of the meadow. That's where Bella and Steve are sat right now. Sophie runs up to them and they all hug and kiss.

The next thing I know me and Peeta are sat together at the base of the tree and Bella, Steve and Sophie are running about, smiling and laughing.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"For what?"

"For giving me the best thing the ever happened to me." He smiles.

"The same to you too."

There is a long pause as we both watch our small family.

"I love you Katniss." I look at him.

"I love you too Peeta."

I clasp onto his hand, comforted by the fact that I will never have to let go.

THE END.

**A/N: Alright, first things first. I'm so sorry that this is so late. I have been so busy I can't even tell you and every time I did sit down to write I found myself extremely stuck. So I'm sorry about that.**

**I just want to thank you all for reading this fanfic. It has been an absolute privilege writing for you all these past few months. It has been one of the most humbling and amazing things that I have ever done.**

**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE TOUCH WITH YOU ALL!**

**So please, even if you are a guest and have only just read this chapter PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Tell your friends, neighbours, aunts, uncles, cousins, cats and dogs about this fic. I will be eternally grateful.**

**Like I said, I don't want to lose touch with any of you so please please set me on your author alerts! I have lots of plans for other THG fics.**

**So I guess this is it. Thank you so much for your reviews, PM's and for just reading this.**

**I love you so much. **


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